Love: Women in Islam (Part 9, April 26, 2009)
In the Arabic language there are over 60 terms to express love; from the simple inclination (mawada) to total transport (mutayyam) to violent passion (3ichk) to the agony in love (sababa).
You have: I love you (bahibik, gharami, 3youni, albi, 7ayati…). There are as many terms for love as there are names for snow in the Eskimo language. Not an aspect, a detail, a characteristic, a symptom, kind, state, and remedy of love were not studied in the Arabic language and in Islam. Medieval Europe experienced the troubadour love poems or courteous poems via the Arab poetry of Andalusia in southern Spain.
Love has never been a taboo neither in the pre-Islamic period nor in Islam; love has never been an aversion. People and poets who died out of love were considered high in the tribal communities and martyrs in Islam. That is why even when a love affair was denied because of tribal interest, the tribes cried the death of a love partner who suffered tribal rejection or his love mate.
Islam encourages marriage as constituting half the religious duties and magnifies the necessity that both partners reach sexual pleasure through the art of foreplay and taking time for the female to feel happy and ready for intercourse before entering. In marriage, all exotic love-making and positions are permitted as long as both partners are willing.
Being naked and contemplating nakedness is part of the game. For example Aicha, the beloved wife of the prophet said: “I would take a joint bath with the Prophet after a state of grand impurity”
Women would complain to the judge that her mate prefers exclusively one position to others, particularly the anus intercourse, and she would turn over her sandals (babouj) for the judge to comprehend her complaint. In such cases of wives unsatisfied sexually then they have the right to divorce.
Islam had created licit love-making via temporary contracts called “zawaj al mut3a” (marriage of pleasure) or the marriage of the traveler “nika7 al misyar or moussafer”. These temporary arrangements are true contracts with all the required clauses of financial retribution and obligations.
Adultery is ground for divorce but no where in the Koran does the wife or the husband is subjected to be lapidated (put to death by throwing stones at). In a previous post, “Women in Islam: Divorce”, I have stated the mechanism and type of divorce. You may refer to post “Women in Islam: Essay”
Moslem women writers are making a comeback in emancipation literature. For example, in French you have Nedjma (Star), a pseudonym, publishing “The Almond” (L’Amande) of the crude sexual education of a Moroccan girl, and “The crossing of the senses” (La Traversee des sens); you have Salwa al Neimi with “The Proof by Honey”; you have Rajaa Alsanea with “The Daughters (or girls) of Riyadh”; you have Zaynab Hifni with “I will cry no more” and “Women at the Equator”
Note: It is no secret that man is at huge disadvantaged in matter of obtaining pleasure in sexual encounters. Women must have known that man is doing his best to convey his attachment and appreciation by pleasuring his woman partner; all that he receives is tension relief after working so hard for his mate to get satisfaction.
Whether a man is having intercourse the procreation type or through anus is of no difference to him in pleasure. If in a few cultures man prefers women with large hips and round behind it is not because of a sign of higher fertility or easier pregnancy but because the naked body of the bent over woman is far lovelier and magnificent than in other positions.