Adonis Diaries

Rachel’s Sixth Sense

Posted on: September 21, 2008

Rachel’s Sixth Sense (Nov. 2002)

I used to swim at a Navy complex in Bethesda, 

At least three times a week, mostly around 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

She was a beauty by any standard.

I think she was a cadet in the Navy, 

Following swimming training and evaluation.

I wanted to get to know her but could not talk to her.

I wrote her a song and kept a copy with me for the next time I see her.

Here is the song:


Beautiful girls sense me.  They know for sure, 

    Exactly, what I’m up to.

They sense me in a split-second and get busy.

    She swims with energy, non-stop.

She swims fine, back strokes, crawl, in laps.

    I do all that too, leisurely.

She swims constantly and does not breathe.

    I have strong senses too:

She is not taking a break.  Not Today.

    I decide for a note, dropped on her towel.

It should say: “I think you are beautiful”.

    Everything I see in you is beautiful”.

I feel more at ease and then, hope takes the extra step.

    She must take a short break, any second now.

My brain is boiling and I am editing.

    My sentence should be reduced to bare essential.

“I think you are beautiful, everything I see in you is beautiful” is too long: 

    No time for her to hear me out.

 Just “Beautiful!” will not do: I know that by now.

    “You are beautiful!” is about right.

 I am swimming leisurely.  There is no movement around me.

            There is no towel.  She vanished.

 Hang it all.  I’ll write about that swim.

The next time I saw her in the swimming pool, 

I made sure that she saw me drop a piece of paper on her towel.  

Then, I left.

A week later, I asked her: “What’s your name?” 

She simply said: “It’s Rachel and I’m dating”.

That was all that was said between us.  

Not even a thank you or an allusion to the note.

I realized that her co-swimmers have been noticing me for quite a time after my note.

A lame recognition!  A bad poem, a good poem, still, a recognition!

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September 2008

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