Rachel’s Sixth Sense
Posted by: adonis49 on: September 21, 2008
Rachel’s Sixth Sense (Nov. 2002)
I used to swim at a Navy complex in Bethesda,
At least three times a week, mostly around 3 o’clock in the afternoon.
She was a beauty by any standard.
I think she was a cadet in the Navy,
Following swimming training and evaluation.
I wanted to get to know her but could not talk to her.
I wrote her a song and kept a copy with me for the next time I see her.
Here is the song:
Beautiful girls sense me. They know for sure,
Exactly, what I’m up to.
They sense me in a split-second and get busy.
She swims with energy, non-stop.
She swims fine, back strokes, crawl, in laps.
I do all that too, leisurely.
She swims constantly and does not breathe.
I have strong senses too:
She is not taking a break. Not Today.
I decide for a note, dropped on her towel.
It should say: “I think you are beautiful”.
Everything I see in you is beautiful”.
I feel more at ease and then, hope takes the extra step.
She must take a short break, any second now.
My brain is boiling and I am editing.
My sentence should be reduced to bare essential.
“I think you are beautiful, everything I see in you is beautiful” is too long:
No time for her to hear me out.
Just “Beautiful!” will not do: I know that by now.
“You are beautiful!” is about right.
I am swimming leisurely. There is no movement around me.
There is no towel. She vanished.
Hang it all. I’ll write about that swim.
The next time I saw her in the swimming pool,
I made sure that she saw me drop a piece of paper on her towel.
Then, I left.
A week later, I asked her: “What’s your name?”
She simply said: “It’s Rachel and I’m dating”.
That was all that was said between us.
Not even a thank you or an allusion to the note.
I realized that her co-swimmers have been noticing me for quite a time after my note.
A lame recognition! A bad poem, a good poem, still, a recognition!
Adonis Diaries 
Leave a Reply