Adonis Diaries

Archive for January 15th, 2009

Memory failures, (continue 27)


Note: I have published this section previously, but not within my formal auto-biography “introspection”.

I have been writing my diary since 2004: I sensed that my episodic memory might be failing and I have difficulty with the semantic memory in recalling names quickly enough, even the ones I am familiar with. I have a vast general knowledge, but lately I feel that I can benefit greatly in providing answers if the format is in multiple-choices format for recognition. 

Mother has good episodic memory at the age of 83 but her instant recall of names is very bad.  Many times mother is telling me a story or a current news and she fails to remember a name and shakes with frustration.  Often, I figure out whom she is talking about, but the irony is that I cannot retrieve the name too; a silence is broken until one of us recall the name or we simply just give up.  

Mother reminds me of many events that I had completely forgotten, even my personal accidents that I should have retained, like car accidents. Mother told me about Joseph Hayek who rammed my opened car door and almost injured me; I asked her to give me more details, until I had a feeling that the accident happened. I usually tell mother to continue her story with more details so that I might recover part of the situational episode.  

Dad has still excellent memory, episodic and semantic,and we can rely on his accurate recall, but his hearing is failing, so does mother though she would never concede.  Dad is ashamed of asking me to take him clean his ears, so is mother!  Thus, the writing process might be a good exercise for saving my remaining faulty memory connections and keeping them alive a bit longer.

I read in the daily Al Nahar that German scientists have located the gene AVPR1A number 334 responsible for the abstinence of 40% of the males to marry, or to sticking to their vow to marry.  It appears that this gene is also the cause for autism or the closing up of the mind to society and living inward.  I think that I strongly have this gene, and if I submit to DNA analysis then the result would be positive. 

I believe that my ranking in schools and university has declined sharply since I was 17 years old because my memory started to decline.  I guess my persistence in continuing my higher education and even earning a PhD might be due to my inner and stubborn anger to defying my memory faults.  For example, when I focus on any subject I can comprehend the mechanism; a few days later, I feel that I know the general process but I need pointers to recall the process and refresh my understanding of the subject. 

I have lost many friends because I failed to recollect their names, or worse calling them with the wrong names.  When I returned to the USA after five years of absence, I have this guy who calls me excitedly as being his long dearest friend, and I could not remember the name or even put a face on the caller; the guy was one of my roommates!  He was very frustrated when I met with him; the irony is that I still could not remember him, even with his face, but I had to take his accounts for real because his recollected accounts matched realities.

In gatherings, a bloke would turn towards me for some reason and say “you should know him; he was kind of intimate with you”. What can I say?  Names are more often than not a blank in my memory; a picture can certainly help as long as it is not updated!  Thus, when I salute people I do not try to name them! 

I guess that my inability of memorizing songs and poems and jokes has strong foundation; my asocial behavior might be due to my failing memory early on, which has corrupted my discourse and robbed me of quiet and convincing communication instead of irritated and truncated paragraphs. 

An excellent memory is necessary for mental effectiveness, for social gathering, of telling jokes, of recounting events in details.  It is fundamental for efficient communication and making friends.

I don’t like talking on the phone or any instant audio-visual medium: I lack verbal intelligence. I feel that my verbal memory is too slow to communicate any sense in a timely fashion.  My sort of communication is to listen and query what the other person is saying. 

In a gathering, I look stupid, redundant and ignorant of the substance or fundamentals of chatting and delivering small talks or maligning others or memorizing and delivering jokes. I know by experience that, when sometime I am dragged into heated conversation, I usually make a complete fool of myself and never finish sentences and alienate everyone in the audience.

            I don’t carry a cellular phone because I have no business to promote.  There are millions of cellular suckers who use their new gadgets just for answering calls, thinking that they are lording it over the callers by answering calls; worst, they think that they are saving money by not taking the initiatives of calling after all the initial and monthly expenses.

Note: One of my nieces commented: “I like this article. i always thought you had some sort of mild autism. I knew the technical word for it. I’ll try to find out for you. please do get teta and gedo’s ears cleaned. You have 50 members now. I like the article on your home page. keep updating. lots of love.”

Now, I have to deal with a new syndrome of mild autism that has a technical name.  Is failure to recalling name a kinds of autism? I trust frank outside observers.  Would my niece find out from internet or the American Psychiatry Association what can be done to to my case? 

Houston, Texas


I was called from Houston, Texas, to aid in the organization of a party.  I purchased a beat up car just to move to Houston.  It was a long drive of 20 hours at night and my first alone; that was courage or desperation which ever you decide.  I slept in temporary comrades’ places, because I had no money to rent.  Many knew me very well though I had no recollection (read my section on faulty memory).

Within three months of search and applications I worked with a crane production industry.  I got the job after I attended an evening meeting and barbecue with the association of the University of Oklahoma graduates in Houston; a rich corporate member recommended me to this company.   

I was dismissed within 3 months because I felt out of place and not given any encouragement within my field.  Actually, this position was supposed to be a temporary job before being sent to Iran with the mother company Schlumberger, specialized in equipments for oil production.

During my three months job my old car broke down several times and I spent the last dollar saved on shabby repairs and felt frustrated and disoriented.  After being fired I worked in small jobs like waiter in rush lunch hours in Downtown Houston and then in fast food restaurants and then in a Lebanese restaurant.

I got involved in Lebanese party politics in Houston and supposedly was the main coordinator among the “leftist alliance”, an amalgam of parties.  There was this group of three members that insisted of an equal authority with no responsibility for participating in activities and demonstration; the supposed leader of this group ended up disseminating horrible calumnies on me; I suspect that a terribly jealous member of our party coordinated the calumnies with him. Then I was lured by someone within my party (the same infamous “comrade”) to forge a US passport because he said it worked without any problems with others through US acquaintances. I fell into the trap of this bad intentioned comrade and was caught because the forged application as a born US citizen, supposedly emanating from a nearby town, was obviously not professional and the copy of birth certificate was not up-to-date by any long shot.  I was convicted by a grand jury and spent a week in jail. I experienced this kind of life confinement that was not terrible since I managed to borrow books and I am not picky with food; I had some money which allowed me to purchase cigarette and share them with my cellmates; I recall that I was allocated the upper bunk and my mates respected a reading guy and didn’t bother me.  The worst part is the humiliation afterward.

I was released after the intervention of our ambassador in Washington DC.  I was supposed to owe $300 for a lawyer.  The party had to sort of “excommunicate” me and strip me of my responsibilities.  I spent a month with a lovable older comrade from Venezuela, of Lebanese origin, who was in Houston for complete health check up (many thanks to this Samaritan).

My brother-in-law, an officer in the Lebanese army sent me a new Lebanese passport because the previous one was confiscated. I went to the immigration office to give notice of my departure and they had “misplaced” my file; a judge had to verbally “record” my testimony; most probably my case was one of thousands that indicted many prominent personalities and my file was to be lost.  I spent a few days in Chicago with Nicholas and toured his university; I experienced snowy Chicago and the biting winds on the water front of the lake.  I returned to Lebanon in Christmas of 1979.

Lawton, Oklahoma


Fouad was one of my numerous roommates; he was a Lebanese student majoring in pharmacy, used to travel two hours on weekends to work as a bartender at an Army base in Lawton. He rented a house there for the weekends and then spent the rest of the week studying to be a pharmacist in Oklahoma City, one hour away the other direction to Norman where he rented with me. He used to pick me up in his Spitfire to Lawton, a “hole of a town”. He could afford a Spitfire; he sold me his old fashion VW, an engine cooled by air. This car was wrecked by a drunken lady at 2 a.m. at an intersection; I was lucky to be alive and the insurance paid what the car was worth on the market and the lawyer received as much in compensation for depositing a claim for health damages.  At the time, it was common for anyone who had car accidents to sue for “backlash” and the physiotherapists were glad for this booming business and they cooperated well with lawyers.

Fouad married a US “Philippina” and then divorced after he obtained his US passport.  I expounded on details in my piece “Raine’s my initiator; or maybe not”. On my second trip to the U, Fouad had re-married and then enrolled as a surgeon at a Mexican University and commuted everyday from El Paso until he graduated.  He participated as a surgeon with the US invading troops in Panama.

I finished my program in two years but I was displeased with my thesis which was suggested by my advisor, Dr. Foote, another Zionist inclined professor.  I was just inputting random numbers in a written computer program that another student had written and dealing with stochastic production demands. The results didn’t turn out encouraging and I suffered grueling months, very unsatisfied with the whole project. I am reminded of this expression a “bullet shit” of a non-fighter joining a fighting group who is loaded with ammunition so that the fighters could eventually use his ammunition if he dies; that what happens to many graduate students who have no idea for a proposal. I decided not to pursue a PhD program.

Bi-weekly report (#8) on Lebanon (January 15, 2009)


            A couple of rockets were fired yesterday from Shebaa on northern Israel and another five rockets last week on Naharia; Israel responded in kind.  No group claimed the attack, simply because no groups in Lebanon did it.  These two salves of rockets were CIA initiated because Shebaa is completely under Israeli control and last week salve was fired in areas under the total control of the UN troops.  If we know that the UN contingents are constituted of 22 States and each contingent has its own intelligence services and connected to their Embassies then it is doubtful that the UN is ignorant of who fired the rockets.  The UN peace keeping forces know who fired the rockets and they should be investigating the elements connected to the CIA.

            Why the CIA would fire rockets in northern Israel?  My contention is that there are two plausible reasons; first, Bush Junior would like very much Israel to try again to weaken Hezbollah before he exits power but Israel is no longer in such mood: even tiny Gaza with no exits for supplies has resisted for 20 days and is still launching rockets on the neighboring Zionist colonies.  The second more plausible reason is to open the airwaves of the multimedia for the regurgitation of the midget politicians in the March 14 coalition.  These insipid and odorless defeatist politicians had nothing to say during the horrors of Gaza; they certainly would like Hamas to be defeated, and some of them would love to have over one million Palestinians dead (they performed hand to hand genocide in the Palestinian camps of Sabra and Shatila in 1982); they would not dare join the US and Israeli positions because the internal situation in Lebanon is too volatile for stupid commentaries.  Thus, the two salves of rockets permitted the feather weight politicians to reiterate that the government is the sole authority for ordering military activities.  Well, they had their 15 minutes of babblings and they are thanking the US for that opportunity.  Personally, I think that although the Israeli government didn’t take these rockets seriously, the Zionist colonists in northern Israel must have recalled their plights on July 2006 and urged their government to put an end to the attacks in Gaza.

            General Aoun lambasted the “potential” politicians who are pretending to form a “moderate” or “medial” or “independent” group for the next Parliamentary election.  Deputy Aoun said “How can you be moderate between ending the embezzlement of the finances and allowing a few stealing to go on?  How can you be moderate between stabilizing the political climate with Syria and permitting a few unreliable activities of animosity against Syria?”

            The Ex-President of the Palestinians in the West Bank, Mahmoud Abbass, dared proclaim that “Egypt, the USA, and Israel assured him that the military operation in Gaza should not last one week to exterminate Hamas”. How stupid can a politician be?  Anyone with the word “Abbass” attached to his name should quickly change it; otherwise people will regard him as stupid:  Abbass connote Stupid and Traitor to his people.

            Qatar managed to hold a formal meeting of the Arab foreign ministers; only Moubarak of Egypt, the Wahhabi monarch of Saudi Arabia, and the dictator of Tunisia refused the invitation. Lovely, at least this Arab summit, without the heavy weight traitors amidst them, has a chance to raise the flag of human dignity and boldly face the genocidal plans on the Palestinians by the Bush Junior Administration and the European Union leaders.  Now that the masks have been totally dropped by Moubarak of Egypt and the Wahhabi monarch of Saudi Arabia, it is hard to envision Seniora PM of Lebanon and Saad (of the Hariri clan) resuming their patriotic declarations and their claim of honest brokers for the stability and peace of Lebanon..  I like to remind Seniora and Saad and Samir that even Dracula Condo Rice felt terribly ashamed when Bush Junior ordered her not to vote for the UN resolution 1820 for a complete cease fire in Gaza; she simply didn’t cast a vote!

            Hilary Clinton insists on not negotiating with democratically elected Hamas in Gaza. What Barak Obama meant by change?  How Obama is to change anything if the cat ate his tongue and the Zionist devil bought his soul?

            The Horror!  This Silence of the powerful; this Silence of the “good guys” in the “Land of the Free” watching a genocide in progress.  The Horror! The Silence of an Obama leading a Silent majority while over 500 babies died and 3,000 seriously injured under debris and by phosphorous burning bombs and the genocide of famine, lack of potable water, and of medicines going strong for 20 days..

“No mas” for Nobel Peace prizes (January 15, 2009)


            The Norwegian Nobel committee, for awarding “Peace Prizes” for personalities who contributed greatly to communicating the spirit of peace and actively working toward instituting peace around the world and in their communities, has been politicizing their policies which contributed to lavishing totally undeserving war criminals and criminals against humanity.

            The latest of awardees is Israel president Simon Perez who said lately: “Israel can protect its babies against Gaza babies” and who participated in the decision making to perpetrate genocide on the Palestinian civilians in Gaza.  Many deserving Nobel Peace Prize awardees signed a petition saying that they feel ashamed that Peres was awarded such an honorable prize.

            The Norwegian committee has awarded this prize to Kissinger, the US Secretary of State under Nixon who prosecuted the Viet Nam war until it was a losing case; Kissinger is the one who planned and prosecuted the Lebanese civil war in conjunction with Sadat of Egypt.   

Mind you that Sadat shared this honorable prize with Menahim Begin, the Zionist terrorists since 1920 and who became Prime Minister and invaded Lebanon in 1982 and entered the Capital Beirut.

Mind you that Arafat also shared this honorable prize with General Rabin, the Zionist Prime Minister who pre-empted the war in 1967 against Egypt and Syria and led terrorist activities against the Palestinians.  Arafat cooperated with Sadat to set Lebanon afire for over 15 years.

            What is it with Norway that it feels compelled to politicize the Nobel Peace Prize? What! Do I have to wage a pre-emptive war and then work out a flimsy peace negotiation in order to be awarded a peace prize?           Do I have to be a Zionist zealot in order to increase my odds for being considered a worthy peace recipient?  

What next? Are Bush Junior, Cheney, Olmert, Ehud Barak, Natanahu, Mubarak, and Condo potential candidates for Nobel Peace prizes?  What next?  Would Hilary Clinton and Barak Obama be the next candidates if they succeed to eliminate Hamas over the death of 1,000 babies and 5,000 injured Palestinians in Gaza?  Would Mahmoud Abbass be awarded a Peace Nobel as a consolation prize?  Would the Wahhabi Saudi monarch, the leader of the darkest and terrorist religious sect, be considered a serious candidate if he offered one billion dollars for the prize?


            It is not enough to feel ashamed!  It is the responsibly of the Norwegian government or its Parliament to strip the names of those who won these prizes and then proven to be undeserving from the list of this Hall of Fame or we will label this list the Hall of Shame!




January 2009

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