Adonis Diaries

Archive for March 4th, 2009

Note: All current articles and essays are published first in the category “finance/politics”


109.  Are Free-Trade Zones in the Middle East being worked out? (December 1, 2008)


110.  What is this “Greater Syria Nation”? (December 3, 2008)


111.  A cultural political movement in Lebanon (December 4, 2008)


112.  After Iraq: Any good news in and out? (December 7, 2008)



113.  What is “Syria National Social Party”? (Part 1, December 5, 2008)


114.  Who is Jesus of Nazareth?  (December 6, 2008)


115.  What is “Syria National Social Party”? (Part 2, December 6, 2008)


116.  Joblessness or “what ignite dormant revolutions” (December 6, 2008)


117.  Blood all over the floor (December 8, 2008)


118.  What is “Syria National Social Party”? (Part 3, December 9, 2008)


119.  Is Democracy a panacea for every social ill and for change? (December 9, 2008)


120.  Sociology: a sub-field of climatology?  (December 10, 2008)


121.  Judas Iscariot (December 11, 2008)


122.  A Moratorium on State Terrorisms (December 12, 2008)


123.  Bi-weekly report (#4) on Lebanon (December 12, 2008)


124.  Any dignity left? (December 13, 2008)


125.  Is religion still monopolizing our fears? What about technology? (December 14, 2008)


126.  Hot spots: border pretexts (December 15, 2008)


127.  Jesus Christ: A reconstructed biography (December 16, 2008)


128.  Human Rights: from contentions to standardization (December 17, 2008)


129.  Political self-criticism: kinds and applications (December 17, 2008)


130.  Bi-weekly report (#5) on Lebanon (December 18, 2008)

131.  The Oriental Christian sects in the Middle East (December 20, 2008)


132.  The largest and best planned scheme in history: executed by the worst cowards of all (December 22, 2008)


133.  Re-defining histories (December 23, 2008)


134. Zionism: an ideology of apartheid, terror, and crimes against humanity (December 24, 2008)


135.  Hypnotized reasoning (December 27, 2008)


136.  Bi-weekly report (#6) on Lebanon (December 27, 2008)


137. “Trailing a butterfly” by late Palestinian Mahmoud Darwish (Part 1, December 29, 2008)


138. “Trailing a butterfly” by late Palestinian Mahmoud Darwish (Part 2, December 30, 2008)


139.  “As the Crow lost his way” (A short story, December 30, 2008)


140.  No food, no medicine, and no oil for Gaza:  just exploding bombs (December 30, 2008)


141.  Top Gun (December 31, 2008)

142. “Trailing a butterfly” by late Palestinian Mahmoud Darwish (Part 3, December 31, 2008)

“Why am I how I am?”: Four Supporting Factors


Reason #6: Ideology


The next year I joined a political party. 

With next to nothing in political awareness I was carried away.

I was approached by close friends who already joined the party.

I attended secret lectures on the principles and doctrine of the party.

I read many of its literature and the writings of its leader.

I agreed on many terms of its principles and moral standings.

I still would not have joined if not for urgent nudging.

Even after joining I was not satisfied until I read the literature

Of the alternative political parties to compare and strengthen my belief.

I did not care for the positions of the right wing political parties.

I focused my ideological education on those claiming to be leftists.

I read all the volumes of Karl Marx, Lenin, and Mao Tse Tong.

I even read Kim Il Sung, go figure!

I slaved for that party:  I spent my scares financial resources which I did not earn.

I invested much time and efforts in organizing, marching in demonstrations,

Participating in ceremonies, attending the required meetings, and basically,

Wasted the better of my university years in chimera.

I failed to excel in my academic studies.

I failed to striving for good grades and looking forward for a brighter personal future.


Joining wholeheartedly a political party or any civic association could have advantages.

It could be an excellent decision that open varied opportunities for youth.

It can develop their personal potentials and connect with proper referrals.

Not this particular party and not for me.

My political party was a pariah to the Lebanese system of governance.

Theoretically, your application for joining the party is kept a secret;

Absolutely not true, but what youth knows?

Many political parties offer ways for advancement and jobs.

In my case, all public services and administrative position in the State were closed to me.

Even teaching in the public schools and most private schools were prohibited for me.

Political parties need leaders, directors, managers, and mostly “soldiers”.

The leaders are usually selected from the outspoken and the well connected.

My fate was to slave in the dark, spend my money and be an extra number.

Time is of the essence and the most critical at this juncture of my life.

I wasted time and efforts amply in the wrong direction and purpose.


These university years were the best in cultural development.

I spent countless hours seeing movies, watching theater plays and attending conferences.

Alone, always alone.


Reason #7: Smoking


I started smoking at the age of 26, just to fit in a bar exhibiting girls dancing nude.

I could not stand the taste or smell of cigarettes but managed to finish a box.

Slowly but surely I got hooked to smoking even though I still could not enjoy it.

I never even tried a single puff before then or was tempted to try.

This addiction to smoking precipitated my downfall:

I have been noticing substantial declines in whatever cognitive abilities I had.

I experienced lack of concentration on any subject for more than fifteen minutes.

My memory deteriorated even further.

I felt shortness in breathing, continuous coughing, and vocal degradation.

Smoking is nefarious for social relationships, especially among women.

Smoking is categorically not appreciated in a working environment.

I quit smoking for ten days: a beautiful girl made me promise for just that duration.

I fasted for 40 days because I wanted to share the fast of a Muslim friend of mine.

I excluded smoking from the constraints.


Reason #8: A social naïve


I am basically very naïve in social machinations.

This may not be a reason but a by-product of the previous reasons.

I keep my word even when I realize that the given promises were deceptive.

I once promised a manager to stay for a year as his assistant at a certain monthly pay.

The pay turned out to include the cost of many perks.

I resigned after a year.

I keep my part of any contract even when I discover that I have been abused.

I worked for four years at a job that was not within my domain:

I was promised a higher position after the work is finished.

I suffered stomach aches for six months:

The physical diagnoses didn’t show any cause.

It was a purely nervous work stress or a psychological factor.

But I fulfilled my contract.

I worked for five years in Real Estates, listing and selling private properties.

After two years of literal hunger I managed to earn a decent return on my persistence.

I spent lavishly on advertisement from my own pocket.

I had to convince the Internal Revenue Services of my poverty for months.

My profit was not commensurate to their assumptions by a long shot.

I consistently lowered my share on percentages which I thought were outrageous.

My position on commission rates raised the angst of my associates:

They activated a campaign to curtail my business and even kick me out of the syndicate.


Reason #9:  Lack of financial support and proper connections.


This reason might also be categorized as a byproduct;

It is at best a supporting factor;

As opposed to the previous basic and fundamental reasons.

My parents could not initiate another successful business after they returned to Lebanon.

While in the USA for higher education the civil war in Lebanon was raging.

My folks had no money coming in.

They even lost the remaining of their financial resources.

The devaluation of the Lebanese pound reduced their savings to nothing.

I had to fend for myself though the original plan was to visit every summer.

Now, many overseas Lebanese students were purchasing the latest car models.

I was pedaling a two-speed bicycle; the only transportation available to me.

There were no public transportation facilities in town.

I slung a backpack over my shoulders for provisions and whatever errands.

As a matter of facts all the cars that I bought were old and cheap.

Cars ruined me and I ended up giving them away to charity organizations:

I could not afford to repair them.

I had no family or relative connections whatsoever to providing any recourse or news.

Many students could get married for the purpose of obtaining the American citizenship.

I lived for over 20 years in the USA and did not secure even a Green Card;

An essential mean and requirement to be hired by any established company.

Strong connection or backed by powerful referrals do secure good jobs.

Many worthwhile jobs were denied me on the basis of not having this lousy Green Card;

It also disqualified me from a few important university projects.

The projects were directly or indirectly financed by the all pervasive Defense Ministry.

Introspection: Kim (Addendum #4)

What’s Wrong With You Men! (Nov. 2002)

She was separated from a Yugoslavian guy and was taking care of her two years old boy. Korean by origin, she was a peculiar beauty and somewhat chest flat. I don’t recall her name. Yes, it is Kim, or at least the odds are high for Kim. Kim for Kimberly, the odds could be much lower. The story is in Houston 1978.

She used to dance with every guy who asked her to dance. Rumors were spreading that she needs a man. I danced with her.  She enjoyed my dancing. Kim gave me her phone number with some prodding.

I called her the next day for efficiency reasons but she kept giving me excuses. I called her often to refresh her memory of which guy I might be. Many calls and persistence gave fruits for a date. She gave me her full address with directions.

I visited Kim at her apartment and was surprised to see her baby boy. She needed a listening ear and valiantly tried to make conversation. Warding off my hot hands, my hands were valiantly responding to her talk. Kim gave in.  It was quick.

I felt sorry. She felt sorry. Helplessly she said:” What’s wrong with you men? All you have in mind is that!”

I never felt so ashamed, so little and insignificant in my life. I felt a surge of great pity for her and for myself. I wished I could make up for a lifetime friendship with her.

It could not be possible. When a relationship fails at the start, women know better not to resume.

Note: All my current articles and essays are published first in my category “finance/politics” before further allocation into 17 other categories.

175.  Islam: Legislating in Medina (Part 2, February 1, 2009)

176.  Islam: Triumphal return to Mecca (Part 3, February 2, 2009)

177.  Islam: the Successors of the Prophet Muhammad (Part 4, February 3, 2009)


178.  Turkey: A Regional Power out of hibernation (February 4, 2009)


179.  Rationality Fraud: Can our leading minds pass Socrates’ dialogue test? (February 4, 2009)

180.  Islam: the two messages of Jesus and Mohammad (February 5, 2009)

A challenge to all theologians: Islam is one of the Christian sects.


181.  Nelson Chip: Tagger (February 5, 2009)


182.  The greatest poet: “The man with the long curly hair”; Abu Nuwass (February 6, 2009)


183.  The Gods of beauty: Before the age of pimples (February 7, 2009)


184.  Free-will Eugenic: Finally you have Choices (February 7, 2009)


185.  A Few Good Politicians (February 7, 2009)


186. I hate to talk, read, and write. Oh, and I hate math: Different teaching resolutions (February 8, 2009)


187.  State Laws on Eugenics (killing): premises (February, 8, 2009)


188.  Bi-weekly Report (#9) on the Middle East and Lebanon (February 9, 2009)


189.  Both Types of Misogyny in gender preferences (February 10, 2009)


190.  Sex is Stupid: Ask Viagra (February 11, 2009)


191.  Digital Human Memory: any Problems? (February 11, 2009)


192.  “The man with the long curly hair”: Fragments of Abu NuwassPoems (February 12, 2009)

193.  You can now live very long: what are your plans for old age? (February 14, 2009)

194.  Nietzsche: A biography of the philosopher of life (February 15, 2009)


195.  A compliment from him, a flatter from her and pretty soon you’ve got a Date (February 16, 2009)

196.  The under-developed countries are plagued with common diseases: any Resolutions? (February 16, 2009)

197.  The rights to know and be informed; Abortion cases (February 17, 2009)

198.  The Good Old Times: Let us recapitulate (February 17, 2009)

199.  Good Old Days: Let’s Review (Part 2, February 18, 2009)

200.  Ego Centrist: The fake and the real, you decide (February, 18, 2009)

201.  Bi-Weekly Report (#11) on the Middle East and Lebanon (February 19, 2009)

202.  Nietzsche: “God is dead” (February 19, 2009)

203.  Nietzsche’s “Thus spoken Zarathustra” (February 20, 2009)

204.  Persia and current Iran civilizations (February 21, 2009)

205.  The vaccine is ready; sorry, in ten years: the AIDS/SIDA case (February, 22, 2009)

206.  Parent’s have choices: Revisited (February 23, 2009)

207.  Cholera or Pest or Plague: Never vanished and blooming again (February 23, 2009)

208.  Cholera: The Greek Thucydides Story (February 24, 2009)

209.  Son of Man: Margin for Freedom (February 25, 2009)

210.  Persia/Iran civilizations: Achemenide Dynasty (Part 2, February 26, 2009)

211.  The Third World War is loudly tolling (February 27, 2009)

212.  Summer Night of the Iguana (February 27, 2009)


213.  Persia/Iran civilizations: Sassanide Dynasty (Part 3, February 27, 2009)

214.  Persia during the Arab Caliphate Empire (651 to 1500 AC) (Part 5, February 28, 2009)

Note: All my current articles and essays in the last 4 months are published first in my category “finace/politics” before sorting them into my other 17 categories.

144.  “The murderer as he talks” by Nasri Sayegh (January 1, 2009)


145.  “The murderer as he talks” by Nasri Sayegh (Part 2, January 2, 2009)


146.  “The murderer as he talks” by Nasri Sayegh (Part 3, January 3, 2009)


147.  Why grounds attack on Gaza?  Bush Junior is not even remorseful of his countless genocide! (January 4, 2009)


148.  “Licensed to kill” by Robert Young Pelton (Part 2, January 1, 2009)


149.  Iraq: License to kill (January 3, 2009)


150.  Today Lucubration (January 5, 2009)


151.  Very happy I am; very lucky, indeed! (January 5, 2009)


152.  “The Obsession for State Borders” by Michel Foucher (January 7, 2009)


153.  A Walk in the Park for Barak Obama: Gaza (January 10, 2009)


154.  State security services: Israel as third subcontractor (January 10, 2009)


155.  Today’s lucubration: not erotically remunerating (January 11, 2009)

156.  Today’s lucubration: The Horror; the Silence of the Able! (January 14, 2009)


157.  Bi-weekly report (#8) on Lebanon (January 15, 2009)


158.  “No mas” for Nobel Peace prizes (January 15, 2009)


159.  No Independent Palestinian State? Think again! (January 16, 2009)


160.  Describing Near Death Experience (NDE), (January 17, 2009)


161.  Today’s Lucubration: Near Death Experience (January 17, 2009)


162.  Tales of life in Montreal, Canada (Part 1, January 19, 2009)

163.  French women (January 19, 2009)

164.  CNNWire-Al Jazeera collaboration: A proposal (January 20, 2009)

165.  Are you poor? Raise your hand! (January 20, 2009)

166.  Are you poor? Raise your hand! (Part 2, January 21, 2009)

167.  “Peels of laughter” by Olivier Mongin (January 24, 2009)

168.  Dreaming: The Leveler, the Optimist (January 26, 2009)

169.  Relentless Therapeutic: Ariel Sharon’s case (January 26, 2009)

170.  Surgeons:  of “The Good Old Days?”  (January 27, 2009)

171.  Targeted Therapies:  for cancers (January 28, 2009)

172.  Many rooms for Happiness (January 29, 2009)

173.  Cloning therapy: not a science fiction (January 29, 2009)

174.  Islam: Genesis; the Prophet Mohammad (Part 1, January 31, 2009)

Nietzsche: “God is dead” (Part 3, started the writing on February 15, 2009)

Note: I started writing about the philosophy of Nietzsche on life on February 15.  I was caught up with publishing many other articles.  As usual, when an essay is bound to be lengthy and time consuming, I decide to divide it into chapters or parts.

I take the position that Nietzsche is an honest writer and truthful to his ideals and that is much more than anyone can expect from most authors.

He wrote once in Ecce Homo “How do we become what we are?”  (This sentence reminded me of a piece of my own auto-biography “Why I am how I am?”) 

Nietzsche replied “As to the long sickness that is wearing me down, don’t I owe it infinitely more than to my good health? I owe it my philosophy to life. Only great suffering liberate the spirit” (I might say “after suffering greatly” because physical pain in no way liberates any kinds of minds)

He publishes “The birth of tragedies” after the Franco-German war in 1870 where he pleaded to the return of the Greek genre of tragedies, but his positions are not well received and he was kind of discredited as a philologer.

In “Non current considerations” Nietzsche claims that culture is threatened internally by the learned men who are totally cut off from life’s realities and are sick in their historicism (the philistine culture). 

Nietzsche receives no recognition; his health is starting to deteriorate.


Nietzsche is in campaign to tell the world a set of truths that he is not yet ready to listen to.  He tries to win a few victories on his personal deficiencies. He writes in 1878 in “Human, much human” that he has gotten rid of “what is not compatible with his nature“.  Nietzsche wants to believe that he is “a free spirit” and declare war on idealism, on the influence of Schopenhauer and the mythology of Wagner.


The year 1880 is “a black hole” for Nietzsche but “what does not kill me is bound to strengthen me“. 

He has a renewed passion to targeting convictions that are “the enemies to truth”, and thus he proclaimed in “The happy knowledge” that “God is dead“.

It seems that many authors have the temerity of killing major concepts for the sake of recognition. 

For example, they proclaim “The end of history“, “the end of Religions“, “The end of Metaphysics”, “The end of Earth”, and “The end of Philosophy“, and that the real life is but a virtual existence. 

Nietzsche is one of a succession of authors that love to go on a rampage of assassination and thus he proclaimed “The end of God”

The reasoning is that if the systems of beliefs have managed to cater to the needs of those who instituted those systems, then after a while those systems turned against life and the moral values have lost their initial power.

The values persist on the impulse of inertia and habit.  This inertia has generated the negative movement of “nihilism”, a sickness among younger generations that devalue all kinds of moral values as “superimposed” on societies.

When Nietzsche proclaimed “God is dead” he didn’t intend a simple atheist position, but a rallying cry to “positive nihilism” for the instauration of newer set of values with purpose of disseminating a spirit of happiness and of higher power to the spirit.

The actual negative nihilism is but an intermediary stage for launching a new future and new moral values that are consistent with life and its glory.


By 1883, Nietzsche feels that “everything is boring, painful, and disgusting. I cannot fathom why I should resume living for even six more months” 

By 1888, he has lambasted the concepts of nationalism and anti-Semitism as sickness attached to symptoms of mental and emotional weaknesses and he signs his works by “The Anti-Christ”, “Dionysus“, “The Crucified”, and “Nietzsche Caesar“.




March 2009

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