Adonis Diaries

Kim “What’s Wrong With You Men?” : Introspection

Posted on: March 4, 2009

Introspection: Kim (Addendum #4)

What’s Wrong With You Men! (Nov. 2002)

She was separated from a Yugoslavian guy and was taking care of her two years old boy. Korean by origin, she was a peculiar beauty and somewhat chest flat. I don’t recall her name. Yes, it is Kim, or at least the odds are high for Kim. Kim for Kimberly, the odds could be much lower. The story is in Houston 1978.

She used to dance with every guy who asked her to dance. Rumors were spreading that she needs a man. I danced with her.  She enjoyed my dancing. Kim gave me her phone number with some prodding.

I called her the next day for efficiency reasons but she kept giving me excuses. I called her often to refresh her memory of which guy I might be. Many calls and persistence gave fruits for a date. She gave me her full address with directions.

I visited Kim at her apartment and was surprised to see her baby boy. She needed a listening ear and valiantly tried to make conversation. Warding off my hot hands, my hands were valiantly responding to her talk. Kim gave in.  It was quick.

I felt sorry. She felt sorry. Helplessly she said:” What’s wrong with you men? All you have in mind is that!”

I never felt so ashamed, so little and insignificant in my life. I felt a surge of great pity for her and for myself. I wished I could make up for a lifetime friendship with her.

It could not be possible. When a relationship fails at the start, women know better not to resume.

2 Responses to "Kim “What’s Wrong With You Men?” : Introspection"

My name is Maria and I live in Virginia USA.
For twelve years I was a single working parent raising a teenage son. If there were mistakes to be make or lessons to be learnt we did both.
The other day I was surfing the web looking for some information for a single mother friend of mine. I was amazed when I came across a site that had everything I was looking for as well as plenty of insight and recommendations I could have used many years ago. The site is: Yes, empowered is spelt with an “N”. (I guess they couldn’t get a site name with the proper spelling).
What really struck me was that the site spoke to many of my concerns as a single mother. Things like having too many responsibilities and nowhere to turn for help as well as coping with a new family situation and the troubles my son was facing too.
Are you a newly single mother or have you chosen to take on single parenting? In either case, raising children on your own is a difficult, though rewarding, challenge that you might feel like you’re not ready for. Have you ever felt like you could do better at raising your family? Have you ever wondered if there was more that you could do?
You’ll be relieved to know that you’re not alone – far from it. Every single mother at one time or other has felt the same way, I know I did. Being a single parent is more common than ever. And no matter how close you think you are to not being able to give any more of yourself you will find a way.
I was especially pleased to see that the site offered a free special 10 page report entitled, “The Single Mother’s 7 Day Program for Taking Control of Your Life.” I wish I had that plan 15 years ago. This high quality report contains subjects such as:
1. How to deal with the sudden change in your life
2. Figuring out your financial situation
3. Looking at what your income is
4. Dealing with common housing concerns
5. How to look at your commitments
6. How to have a talk with your children
The site had plenty of informative articles on topics such as; finances, education, housing and dating, a blog for single mothers, as well as a great book entitled “Single Mom’s Empowered : Everything You Need To Know As A Single Mom”. I think you’ll find that the book answers many of the questions you’ve been asking yourself. Not only does the book teach you how to take care of your family, but you’ll also learn how to better your own life.
I feel, if you’re ready to make some changes in order to make the entire family run more smoothly and have less troubles, you’re ready for the detailed information I found in “Single Mom’s Empowered : Everything You Need To Know As A Single Mom.” No matter how bad you think you have it right now. This site and book will make sure that you’re going nowhere but up from now on.
I’m no NY Times book reviewer but let me try to tell you what I got out of it. First of all, it talks about the idea of being a single mother and what that means.
It covers topics such as:
1. Accepting how you got here
2. Making the most of the situation
3. Is dad an important factor?
4. Avoiding the temptation to overindulge
But that’s really just a start to the topics that you’re going to learn about.
We already know what an important job we have as a mother to our children. This site is going to make sure that the job becomes easier, rather than harder.
Maybe you’re a new parent or you have many children to care for, in any case, you know that you’ll need to make some changes to the way that you are handling these responsibilities in order to keep everyone, including YOURSELF, healthy and happy.
This book recognizes that, as single moms, we have special concerns that other parents don’t. You’ll start by learning how single parenting is different:
1. How you view yourself
2. How others view you
3. Explaining why there’s no dad in the house
4. Providing male role models
5. Who will do the ‘daddy’ jobs?
6. Living with the workload
7. Making arrangements for the unexpected
With this knowledge, you’ll be able to grasp your new role in a focused and determined manner. You won’t have to feel like you’re behind other parents in terms of support – because you can keep everything running just fine.
Learn about:
1. Raising a child on your income
2. Managing your expenses
3. Finding the right job
4. Collecting child support
With “Single Mom’s Empowered: Everything You Need to Know as a Single Mom,” you’ll also know when you should ask for help and where you can find it. You don’t have to feel alone anymore when you know:
1. Where to get help
2. How to create a support system
3. Finding moral and ethical help
But, there’s even more to this book!
It can seem like you have twice as many responsibilities as you had before you became a single mother, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone’s become busier these days, so the author come up with some great ways to help you manage your household without breaking a sweat.
Learn about:
1. Setting rules for your children
2. Choosing the best punishment ‘for the crime’
3. Being consistent
4. When to ask for help
5. Housing options
6. Improving your life with education
Even if you don’t think that you have the time to read “Single Mom’s Empowered: Everything You Need to Know as a Single Mom,” the ideas and tips that you will learn are worth the spare moment that you can find. (For me it was great bedtime reading).
What about taking care of you?
Being a single mother with more responsibilities is enough of a burden at times, but forgetting about yourself is not going to help.
We spend so much of our time giving to others; I think you’ll enjoy the advice on how to take care of the all-important mother:
1. How to have a social life
2. Dating
3. Knowing when to say when
4. Making peace with your ex
5. Learning to be proud
They’ve even included a true story that I’m sure you can relate to.
How is this going to help me?
Now you probably just want to know; “how is this site and book going to help me?” After reading the book, the report and looking into the nooks and crannies of the site I feel you’ll find it to be a complete resource for someone who cares about their family and their future. You’ll gain the tools that you need to make your single mother status something that you can celebrate. I promise.

hi Maria
Thanks for your site. It seems that most of my girlfriends were single mothers; I got to know a few of their kids.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s




March 2009

Blog Stats

  • 1,518,995 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by

Join 764 other subscribers
%d bloggers like this: