Adonis Diaries

You have a complaint? No problem; (July 25, 2009)

            “What?  Your son has been discriminated against in our uniform society?  Watch me jogging right away to the nearest law maker; he is my best friend; I will convince him easily to add a few restrictions to the existing law.  You know, my friend also agrees that laws and punishments should be computerized; sort of the codes be run like an expert system; we certainly have no confidence in shifty judges and their lenient romantic concepts.  I am glad that George W. Bush ordered bonfires all around our mighty Nation to burn those smelly totally outdated and mushy law archieves. I tell you those archieves exhaled a natural lovely smell; I conjecture that it is the mite that gave the fumes their original perfume.”

            “Sorry, you misunderstood me. My son is doing fine and he is getting along well with his classmates.  He just love to play and don’t think that deeply.  I have a problem; my son thinks that he needs to increase his strength and is demanding that I register him to body building classes which I cannot afford. By the way, I have been fired last year and cannot find another job.  Anyway, I was wondering if we could not ask schools to add a few heavy books to my kid’s backpack like they do in Lebanon’s private schools.  This extra weight would physically convince my kid that learning is important; it is like hitting two birds in one shot.”

            “Hold on. What’s that lebanon? Is it a new slang word? Does it change the meaning of your sentence?”

            “I am not sure.  Lebanon used to be prety much redundant for so long.  I hear that Lebanon is a tiny recognized state but it acquired a pass partout meaning in the vocabulary.  The meaning changes every decade or so and I get confused. In the 70’s Lebanon meant civil wars. In the 90’s it meant total chaoes. In 2000 Lebanon meant recovering lands from enemy occupiers. In 2005 it meant chasing out friendly occupiers. In 2006 it meant a local steadfast resistance defeating Israel.  Pick and choose and you are right on.”

            “Hold your horses. How dare you! Do you mean that you are antisemite?”

            “Don’t use big word with me. What do you mean by anti-something?”

            “What! Come again! Antisemite is anyone who blaspheme against Noe’s son Sam. Why do you think that we are called “Uncle Sam”?  We take pride in our ancestor of an uncle even if we are a new nation not older than 300 years.”

            “Oh, so you are into Noe and all that?”

            “You are way out of line. You are even anti-patriot too. If Bush Junior, Ramsfield, and Woolfowitz says that Noe did exist then you better agree.  Our government is always right. Capish? That’s how it is.  We are far more submissive to our government than the Egyptians and we are proud of it.”

            “Wait a minute. What that with the Egyptians?”

            “I read that the official in charge of the internal re-organization of the Egyptian State Party once said “Whoever the government party select for candidates then they are voluntarily elected by a large margin”

            “Whatever.  I don’t think that Obama was elected because the Republican Party allowed it.”

            “Don’t get sleazy with me.  I have enough leverage as a State employee to hurt you bad.  Remember, your taxes are mine and I could increase it if you go on upsetting me”

            “Jesus. Sorry Yahweh. Sorry Sam. This is kind of a crazy conversation we are having. I just needed extra books for my kid’s packpack.  We always get interesting comunication when we are jobless”

            “Are you insinuating that I get paid for doing nothing?”

            “No, not by any stretch of the imagination.  I am sure that you write plenty of reports that keep everyone busy.  I may say in the expectative.”

            “Your vocabulary is improving. This a very soothing realization that I can make a dent. I am thinking of running for the House of Representatives and improve the level of communication.  Your complaint was a welcomed opportunity for everyone concerned.”

            “Hmm. I got a great idea. I’ll add a few dead weights in my kid’s backpack. You may tear up the complaint”

            “Are you kidding? I am meeting my good friend the law maker this evening in a cave; a cave with very low ceiling”