Adonis Diaries

“My Name is Bev and I want to Speak” May 10, 2009)

            “My Master Adams Mashedbones seems a rather nice boy.  He has been treating me kindly; he feeds regularly and I offer him my milk regularly; kind of fair deal.  The problem is that Adams thinks that because I cannot read or write that I am stupid. I admit that I look stupid but he should have no interest in pushing his nonchalance too far.  Adams forgets that I can hear and see and obviously has no clue that I can read body language, gestures, and lips when Adams inadvertently turns his face towards me; he has no idea that I can sense his gimmicks from the tone of his voice when chatting with buddy Rufus Lightbeer. I suspect that Adams can read and maybe write but this knowledge is of no use to him.  I know that all his information is hearsay and of the more recent mania of the audio-visual intelligence kind of knowledge.

            My mother Sweety heard her mother Dolly complains a few years ago that what Adams fed her was not suiting her digestive system; Dolly went on exaggerating a bit or mother may have added spices to her droll of story.  Dolly was to have said that many of her companions suffered horrible aches and pains and died in crazy conditions.  Dolly was chatty and spread the news that her kinds have been slaughtered for free and the carcasses incinerated and that Adams didn’t care that much about their painful conditions since he was financially rewarded for his greed before the disease and after the disease by a capitalist system, more likely a particular republican capitalist system that Thatcher was a staunch supporter in Britain and exacerbated the epidemics among my cow kind.

            I have real compassion for the pork these days.  I can associate with their worries and tangible calamities that await them.  Adam’s kinds infected the pork with a nasty flu and now the pork is blamed for the new disease.  In this internet age, information is reaching me that in Egypt all pork is being massacred.  Pork over there is not viewed with esteem.  The Koran as well as the Jews prohibits eating pork as source of evil.  Pork in Moslem countries was supposed to be lucky for that prohibition but trade with the greedy “infidels” did not salvage them.  I hate to be ironic but at least pork raised in Moslem countries will no longer be eaten by “infidels” like Adams Mashedbones.  Oh, how I wished to have been born in India; this cursed internet crushed my dreams and enlightened me: India is exporting cow meat to the “infidels”.  So, I might enjoy the better conditions here as long as it last.

            I overheard that William is on a war collision course against meat eating specimen.  William is so tight assed in vegetarian habits that he would not even eat milk based product, fish, or any product smelling of animal substance.  If William drinks my milk then he will realize that I too don’t eat onion or ail.  I respect his choice of life style since he can meditate as well as I do but not as long as I do.

            Oh, how I wished that the Phoenician of Byblos invented alphabets that can be scribbled by cows.  I would have told Adams a piece of my mind.”