Adonis Diaries

Archive for September 24th, 2009

Emilia’s loathing 

            In the first two years my marriage was perfect. It felt that our deep and complete accord of our senses mingled with this silence of the spirit; critics of our personalities were suspended; love was the sole judge of the partner.  Emilia was absolutely without any defects; I wanted to believe that my behavior was shared. Certainly that we had plenty of defects but they were transformed into benign, forgivable, or even particular qualities that enhanced our individualities.

            The happier we feel the less we pay attention to the grace of our felicity; indeed, I might have many moments of boredom in our relationship; it seemed common and natural, nothing that special, like the air we breathe. People would envy me for my state of happiness and I would retort that I lacked the security of the morrow: I was in a tight financial predicament as a movie critic and we barely managed to go out see a movie. We lived in a rented furnished room; my wife had to use the owner’s kitchen to prepare breakfast. Never did I lament as during the first two glorious years of my happiness.

            To my eyes, my wife Emilia was a beautiful secretary when I fell in love with her.  She was not that tall; bared off her long heels her head reached my shoulders, but she had this supple grace and “majesty” that made her look much taller and impressive than most girls that I had met. Emilia was especially taller in bed, more packed, rounded, and powerful, though I knew very well that she had nothing of the massive. In moments of abandon her large sensual chestnut colored eyes expressed a state of loss and displacement.

            Emilia came from a poor family and kept our room constantly clean and shining.  She made my small study her exclusive care: my papers, desk, and books were arranged to lure me to work. Emilia was mostly silent; she barely laughed or smiled but managed to disseminate her feelings by body postures and the expressions on her face: she was barely educated and her world opinions were limited.

            At the time I let my grunge and intellectual looks boast for my potential future as an illustrious artistic personality. My corrective glasses and slender high stature might have contributed to my imagination.  I could not afford to buy an apartment as I felt was Emilia’s deepest wants, her own residence to furnish, maintain, and cherish.  I recall now that during our engagement her eyes got wet when I told her that I barely could rent a small apartment: she was longing for a place of her own and quickly.

            I managed to put down a deposit on a modern apartment of two rooms and a tiny kitchen.  When we visited together for the first time our potential dusty and unfurnished apartment Emilia joined me at the window and asked me to hug her; it was a displaced tender and overt behavior on her part.  We kissed passionately and then Emilia demanded: “take me now”.  She promptly removed her skirt and tops and we made love on the dirty floor.  I had never felt that passion in Emilia; it felt as if she was returning the gratitude for an extended expensive gift. Surely, I had the apartment in Emilia’s name.

            I have never felt that despondent and miserable as the first months after we purchased the apartment: I was permanently worried about the next payment.  Emilia did not help any: she increased her shopping excursion to buy furniture.  She was perfectly aware of my financial predicaments but she acted nonchalant and perfectly an “egoist” to me.  Gone was the period I was lording it as a potential famous intellectual; the feeling of the harsh reality that I was an utterly penniless person, a non-entity, overtook me. I started to listen to the opinions of the opposition political parties that lambasted governments, services, and the social inequities. (More is to follow).

 

Note:  This story is taken, with some alterations, from “The loathing” (Le mepris) by Alberto Moravia.

Reactions to Seduction, Love, and Sex Tales

 

            In the last three months I had decided that my posts would not exceed 800 words.  Consequently, my posts must not be read as academic essays intended to cover all aspects of any theme or in any reasonable depth.  Many times, as a few posts cover many aspect of the same theme then I combine them in a somewhat lengthy essay. In general I try to exaggerate to shock readers into personal reflection.  I leave it to the reader to figure out the many perspectives and angles for comprehending a theme. I even challenge readers with direct and categorical positions to generate comments that may resume discussion and enrich dialogue. Most of the time this tactic is successful and I always factors in comments of the types of immature curses and semi sentences.

 

            For example I receive a well elaborate comment on my post “Sex Tales”.  It goes “I was really interested in reading “sex tales”. I read this post many times and I felt your “anger” in your writing. What I don’t agree, even if I am not a man, is when you say that men don’t have pleasure and that the sexual act is “only” a tension relief. I agree that the sexual act is a natural need but you cannot compare it to pissing and shitting, even when we’re not talking about love, because sex is something that you can control, it is related to desire and pleasure, it is something you share.

            How can you generalize by telling that “Man is not endowed to experience sexual pleasures […]”? Did you ever discuss this issue with other men? In my opinion you cannot compare sex to masturbation, they are fundamentally different.

            You say that men need practice; I say that women need practice too. Practice is important for both genders in order to know their bodies, to know how to give pleasure and how to receive pleasure. Do you think that for women sex is “easier” or pleasure is “automatic”? Don’t you think that women also care for men’s pleasure and that they enjoy giving as much as getting?

             I looked for an explanation for your anger and I may have found two:

First, you said concerning men’s hands “one is more sensitive, functional, and defter than the other and not for manual work but for relieving your emotional anger and passions” maybe is it this emotional anger that is reflected in your writing?

Second, maybe it is a manifestation of a tendency for misogyny? After all, the way we see the world is always influenced by our personal experiences.”

 

            That was a wonderful comment and I tend to agree on most points. It gave me the opportunity to elaborate my position.  I am replying gladly and with excitement. Personally, I am sure that women need far more practice than men.  Mind you that I am not talking about seduction but the nitty gritty sex part of foreplay and intercourse.  After all it is the woman who is in the receiving end of sexual pleasure.  If the woman is not in control of the entire exercise then she had a failing grade and needs to practice more to accede to the next level.  Man must be the passive partner and as long as man is the active one then the woman has received a failing grade.

            No, we cannot compare sex to masturbation unless the woman partner is frequently getting lousy grades.  Then, it is far better for man to get in control of his “destiny” or change sexual partners.  It is the woman responsibility to retain her sex partner and discover what make her man tick.  I get very tired doing the control part to pleasure my partner since she is the one getting most of my focus and energy.

            I maintain that sexual intercourse is an exit alternative for man to relieve his anxieties and angers until the woman partner extracts a genuine “Thank you” appreciation from her man after the game is over. Then, sex can shift to a qualitative level: it is for the man to expect a confirming “thank you” note from the woman partner.  Then we can say that sex is ranked as quality time; a serious fulfilling and relaxing exercise.  It is the phase when both partners have done their homework and learned what give pleasure to both sides.

 

            In general, I discovered that I like more the company of women than man: there are challenges at every corner until routine sets in. Then it is time for a change seeking the company of men.  As for misogyny and such terminologies I tend to avoid them: generalizations are intrinsically false.  Every person, in both genders, has a combination of characters; some tend to behave more frequently misogyny than others. What count is not what we say but how we act and behave. 

            Anyway, I am still into introspection and this exercise might last a life long. 

 

Note 1: I stumbled on a post offering advices for good sex.  Man likes seductive, intelligent, and confident woman. Women should behave lady like on the street and exhibit her bitchy vocabulary and lexicon in bed.  Woman should control burping and farting to the bare minimum: do you know anyone inclined to fuck his beer drinking buddy?  Woman should prove that she feels fine in her body and not constantly worried of the next esthetic surgery.  Woman should refrain from biting the penis or any canine scare tactics; likewise, man should refrain from savaging the clitoris and bruising it. Both genders should not trash talk about their acquaintances: this is a sure proof of low self esteem and a strong message that danger is around the bend.

 

Note 2: I linked three posts on seduction, love and sex for those interested in following the conversation.

https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/seduction-tales/

https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/love-tales/

https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2009/06/07/sex-tales/

For when is Barak Obama to settle on a clear perspective? (September 23, 2009)

 

            So far the Obama Administration is sending the strong signal that it is drifting with no mooring programs or plans for the mid-term perspective. The Democratic Party has won the election but it has been continuing and executing the neo-conservative Republican Party programs and plans decided upon before the election. 

            The main promise of health care reform is at a standoff and blocked. The only default decision was to scrap the installation of ballistic missiles along the borders with Russia for lack of funding. A few restrictive laws on banking were added with a clause not to be enforced for at least two years for lack of manpower and adequate budget. Everything else is going as if nothing happened since the financial crash; as if no new election was done. The decision to close Guantanamo prison was taken in the previous administration; so was the exit plan for the retreat of the troops from Iraq.

            The short-term deal with China is that everything is to resume as before for three years until both nations clean houses. Military activities have been resuming in Afghanistan and Pakistan with increased numbers of troops for a lost cause on the field. George Mitchell has been dispatched to the Near East to arrange the creation of a Palestinian State; so far, it seems that Mitchell peregrinations are meant to last two years because the Obama Administration is still trying to untangle the purposes of the Greater Middle East Plan that did not exist in the first place: there was no plan; period. Iraq is as bad as in the worst years and its President Maliki wants also to anger Syria and stop normal diplomatic arrangements.

            After 9/11, 2001, the “prestige” of the USA was attacked. The Bush Junior Administration of neo-conservative was not prepared for this kind of cataclysm; it was taking a long vacation from urgent world environmental degradation decisions. The American people demanded swift responses commensurate to the US baffled image of the only remaining superpower. The government had no ready alternatives but to dig up war plans in their last phases of simulations; it selected the war plans targeting the Middle East simply because Bush hastily blamed Islam for the attack. The public was ready to accept any enemy target; if Islam is the terrorist culprit then lets annihilate Al Qaeda promptly and not worry about collateral casualties.

            Invading poor and tribal Afghanistan had nothing of a Hollywood action movie; the public wanted a war with a tad bit of complexity and difficulty that correspond to the “power” of the USA. Invading Iraq was perfect in feasibility, natural resources, and a hated dictator that can arrange the desires of the American public. Pre-emptive war it was; the hell with the United Nations resolutions. Did we hear that most of Europe is against this transgression?  Then Europe is an old fart.

            As so many institutions and private intellectuals analyzed the goal of this pre-emptive war so did I.  To my amazement I figured out that there was no plan at all. The Bush Administration went to war and then waited for the analyses to converge. From the many titles they adored “The Greater Middle East Plan”. They just relied on this catchy title and filed the void with general abstract notions of democracy, liberty, free trade, and war against the satanic terrorists.  Ariel Sharon wanted his own wars against terrorism then no problems; Sharon and his successors got all the green lights they wanted and promptly; they built the Wall of Shame; they destroyed entire Palestinian refugee camps; they erased Gaza from the map; they jailed 12,000 civilian Palestinians with no legal cases or due procedures, and they invaded Lebanon in July 2006.  Israel asked for a cease fire after the third day but Bush wanted this war to resume for another 30 days. Lady Condo landed in Lebanon and farted “The Greater Middle East is now in a pregnancy period; the Lebanese have to suffer for the greater world benefit”.

            After many years of wars and conflicts in the Middle East the White House thought that he got down a coherent plan of why this war was pre-empted.  Everything was micromanaged for “coherence” sake and not for rational purposes. Many lucky activities that had god potentials were sacrificed for “coherence” image of a plan that never existed in the first place.

            The devastating hurricane lasted 7 years with a new term extended to the president who initiated it and had no idea why he did it and what to do next. The American public woke up at a strange scene of chaos and disintegration. The military lost moral and was committing suicide at an accelerate rate, the economy was not productive, the financial crash demolished the remnant ideology of liberal capitalism, employment rates were skyrocketing, and wars were still going on strong in many fields of operations. The Republican Party had nothing to offer in its campaign but empty patriotic slogans that made every citizen puke.

            There was a white ghost in the White House; it was replaced by a colored one. While canvassing the world with rhetoric that pleases everyone Obama is still in the stage of comprehending the problems he inherited. Meanwhile, the world community is groveling in the delusion that the US can participate in the resolution of world problems. The best for Europe, China, and Russia is to start leading the world and let the US rest and keep away from world problems or any kinds of interventions.  The US of both parties can no longer suffer to handle even its own mess. The enlightenment has fled the USA and its decision process needs to navigate the endless labyrinth of bureaucratic caves and tunnels.

            We have got no time to put our good eggs for hatching with a foolish headless hen.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

September 2009
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