Adonis Diaries

How sexy is a bowel movement?

Mankind body requires constant maintenance just to survive the day.  Intakes of food and drink and inlets for the senses are described in sexy terms, but how often to you hear or read about sexy bowel movements, pissing, farting, or sweating?  Everyone knows that a good normal shit is the most sexy period of the day but no one dare declaring this truth.  When you badly need to piss and feel secure and ready to releasing the water then, you feel sexier than ejaculating.  Even when you feels sick or are ill, shitting is still sexier than ejaculating and best remedy for healing.

You hear fantastic stories of leaders, prophets, or messengers marching with a large following of disciples trailing after them.  I am one to immediately wonder “What happens when the leader has to go?”  Do followers line up with him to take advantage of this glorious break?  What do they chat about in these sacred moments? Would some one be frank and blurt out: “Ouooo, isn’t it the best moment of the day?”

Now the leader has to do the big one of the day, like a big shit.  Does he carry a small shovel to dig a hole or special people are assigned to dig holes to receiving the sacred excrement? Do followers line up and dig their own holes to share this fantastic personal moment with their leader?  I noticed that leaders of the northern cold front of States do not go that often on State visits to poorer nations; it seems that their bowel movements are abundant and pretty large.  Maybe they are apprehensive of busting off the sanitary systems that are not properly designed for these big men.

I see very old dictators and monarchs doing State visits and I wonder “What special couches (padding) are they wearing to sustain hours of official conversations?” For example, Saudi Arabia monarch (85 years) had to have his airplane escalator shipped to Beirut by road:  he cannot step down or up.  Lebanon had to destroy and enlarge the entrance of the border crossing so that the escalator can be move in.  Lebanon suffered famine for a day because the 8 and 16 wheelers importing food to Lebanon at the border had to wait for the famous monarch’ escalator to reaching the airport of Beirut.   It would be interesting to watch video of old dictators and monarchs distributing sheepish smiles:  They might be excreting something in their couches or plainly farting silently.

After a glamorous bowel movement I feet this sexy pain, a sensation that I had emptied a huge load and diffused pressures off my mind. This sensation last for hours:  It has lasting effect of beatitude.  Actually, a satisfying bowel movement is the one memorable tasks that I vividly recall I had achieved during a day.  If you do the probability, you might realize that the odds are pretty high for the coincidence of shitting sensations and catastrophic events.  I can confirm that the odds are close to certainty of the correlation between feeling threatened and feeling the urge to shit or piss.

Actually, the best remedy for constipation is to force an ejaculation.  Then, after a smooth bowel movement you have to piss.  It is like one excretion generates the other kinds of excretions. And then, you feel the urge to intake food, drink, and smoking.  This is obviously a precise clock cycle.  It is amazing how mankind find time to think and reflect seriously.

Oh, I forgot all about farting; why gazes are substances in human constitution?  You may insert farting wherever you read shit, piss, sweat, eat, drink.   I am nauseous of all that sex, and sexy stuff.  Life can be a nasty humongous shitty existence if we fail to learn enjoying excretions and waiting hopefully for these must small daily tasks of bodily maintenance.

There are leaders who don’t need bodily maintenance:  They are pure shit.  For example, Hitler, Stalin, Bush Jr., Tony Blair, Israelis Golda Meir, Barak, Begin, Netanyahu are pure shit.  And their pronouncements and activities are of the same smelly, disgusting substances; of their same unstable and bloody mental caliber.

What is this?  When I am ecstatic I cannot think; when I am morose I cannot think. I have to induce that I think when I am in a lukewarm temperament. Thus, “Not Thinking” and extreme mood swings are highly correlated.  In moderate mood swings you might be thinking; when you are thinking you might also not be thinking much; either what you are thinking do not make sense or your thinking can be revolutionary verging to lunacy. This is a firm deductive result.

Just to tell you that physical exigency is a fundamental factor to your mental output.  I sometimes wonder at critics performing psychoanalysis on authors based on their books.  If critics are honest then, they should comprehend a book was mostly “excreted” during lukewarm mood periods; thus, psychoanalysis is not valid in these cases: The author should be observed in “a not thinking” instances.  Critics believe that authors basically lie down on comfortable coach, talk to themselves, and then record their babbling; critics get in the skin of a relaxed author who is figuring out that audiences have sworn the “oath of confidentiality” of deep secrets substituting mental shrink.  I don’t usually go off on tangents but it feels good.