Adonis Diaries

A child girl must be married quickly: Why and how?

Posted on: November 23, 2010

A child girl must be married quickly: Why and how?

Outside the Western societies, girls must be married quickly, preferably before the age of 16, and at 13 is perfect, regardless of religion or race.  Why?

Because boys must get married quickly and early on.  Why?

Communities and societies’ stability depend on boys marrying and settling down the sooner the better.

I can hear you mumbling: “Man, your deductive reasoning got me lost”.  Never mind; your turn to exercising the power of your imagination.

Anyway, I disagree with these customs and so-called pragmatic realities, but what do I know?  Besides reading about many cases of pains and suffering and humiliation among young couples, who even never met before the wedding ceremony, traditions are considered to have longer memories and vaster imagination than my limited capacities.

Now that the “why” part is taken care off, let us attack the “how” portion of the problem.


With many modern appendages added to the customs for wedding ceremony, prior, during, and after the wedding expenses are serious barriers to contracting out marriages for younger generations.

It is no longer as simple as borrowing a separate tent  for the couple and planting it a few yards away from the main family tent.

It is no longer as organizing a quick razzias and rounding up sheep, cows, horses, and camels and satisfying the legitimate dowry for the bride.

Here are a list of stages, steps, and requirements before , during, and after the wedding ceremony.

First, the groom and his family must secure the negotiated dowry that does not have to be paid before the ceremony.  The dowry is an obligation paid to the wife for emergency cases such as legal divorces or problems in the inheritance procedures.  The dowry represents the current market price of either 10 camels, 100 cows, or 1,000 sheep.

The family of the groom might start negotiations based on the cheapest of the three options, and the bride’s family by the highest of option.  In Iran, the dowry was regulated to be around $6,000 and in Saudi Arabia about $8,000.   In the Palestinian occupied territories, mayors, head of clans, and deputies have agreed on a charter reducing the dowry to $2,000, including ring, and jewlery (or the dowry publicly recorded).

Second, the tradition requires that the family of the groom pays for the “white night” or the feast among the male friends; the formal feast among the females: the formal feast offered to the bride’s family and cousins; the formal feast to the community and the slaughter of a sheep; and the night of the “henna” for coloring and painting the bride.

The Palestinian charter circumvent all these unnecessary and expensive customs to the bare minimum.

Third, the groom has to offer seven formal dresses to the bride in various colors and shapes for all the occasions before, during, after the wedding ceremony.  The groom has also to extend dresses to all the female members of the bride’s family.  The Palestinian charter reduced these expenses according to customs.

Fourth, the groom is to arrive to the wedding ceremony in a rented luxury car and the feast to be at an expensive hotel charging no less than $20,000.  The Palestinian charter encourages the couple to come in regular cars; limiting the number of the train of cars; the feast be held in public places; and that the number of plates to feeding the crowd be reduced.

Fifth, the family of the groom and cousins are invited for the dinner feast at the bride’s family after the wedding.

Sixth, the Palestinian charter proposed to cancel all cash gifts by the invitees to the wedding ceremony, except those who need to repaying debts.

Seventh, the Palestinian charter proposes that the bride’s family share in the expenses by one-fourth of the total expenses.

Note: After the couple give birth to children, boys of 12 are rounded up by the Israel prison service, supposedly for questioning on the “terrorist” members in the family and incarcerated for several months as advanced punishment and a reminder of their fate: 60% of Palestinian males were made to pass by Israel prison service.

The little girls suffer the same treatments and are threatened to be raped in front of all their family members.

2 Responses to "A child girl must be married quickly: Why and how?"

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November 2010

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