Adonis Diaries

Archive for October 4th, 2011

From blogging to writing? Shouldn’t it be the way around?

Let’s first read this post before I undertake further inputs and comments.

Lee Laughlin published on Sept.15 “How Blogging Taught Me to Be a Writer” in The New Hampshire Writer’s Network Welcomes Tracy Hahn Burkett

“Blogging takes up valuable writing time. You have to write and promote the posts, maintain the site and interact with your readers. But with so many tasks competing for your writing time, is blogging worth it?

For this writer, the answer is yes. Among other benefits, blogging has taught me valuable lessons on how to be a writer.

I’m a very different writer now than I was when I began Uncharted Parent more than five years ago. Back then, I was a beginning writer searching for direction. I was also mother to a four-year-old son and a one-year-old daughter, and I felt like I’d learned more about life in general over the previous year than I had in the past three decades.

I also suspected that, like many parents, I had no clue what I was doing. I thought about parenting topics constantly, whether I wanted to or not, so it just made sense to me to write about them. My multiracial, interfaith, part-biological and part-adoptive family offered me a built-in niche, and Uncharted Parent was born.

Writing and running a blog has provided me with an ongoing education. Here are just 10 of the valuable lessons I’ve learned by blogging:

  • Discipline: writing on a schedule– Sooner or later, writers have to meet deadlines. Blogging provides great practice:  Readers expect you to keep whatever schedule you establish. If for some reason I can’t meet my one-post-per-week schedule, at least I try to post a couple of sentences explaining why.
  • Discipline: writing even when you don’t feel like writing– This may be the biggest lesson of all. It’s so easy to tell yourself that the muse isn’t with you today, or that you’re blocked, or that the cat’s ears need scratching. But if you’ve made a commitment to your readers, you’ll have to sit in the chair and pound something out.
  • First drafts don’t have to be perfect– You’ve probably heard this one a lot. The truth, however, is that it’s hard to grow comfortable with writing ugly messes of shapeless word clumps, until you’ve done it over and over and consistently been able to turn them into coherent, readable prose.
  • In fact, it’s okay to write first drafts that are so bad they end up in the trash– I used to consider the time I spent on the occasional non salvageable draft completely wasted. Now, I’ve learned that these garbage posts are usually just a warm-up. Often I’ll come back to my laptop the next morning and write a new post on a seemingly unrelated topic at super-fast speed.  And frequently, this new post will need little editing. Don’t ask me how the brain turns bad post on topic A into good post on topic B; I have no idea. But having experienced this phenomenon repeatedly, I now allow myself more freedom to experiment with silly or odd ideas and just see what happens when I sit down at the keyboard.
  • I’ve learned to hone in on the details and connections in daily life so I can write about them– As much as I love my kids, I have to confess that not everything they do is worth writing about. Yet, I’ve written hundreds of parenting blog posts and essays. While I reach beyond my own family for some of that material, I’ve also developed a sort of radar for detecting stories and meaningful connections in the stuff that makes up my day. It’s common for me to pause and proclaim in the middle of dinner, laughing with friends or even following a frustrated exchange with my kids, “Well, that’s a blog post.” This tendency–and my own blank stare that sometimes accompanies it–probably doesn’t make me a better social companion, but it’s improved my storytelling ability to an exponential degree.
  • I know how crucial it is to let a piece rest– I never put something up on the internet without leaving it aside and then coming back to it. Ever. I always catch something, even if it’s only sat a few hours between writing and review.
  • I’ve also learned that sometimes good enough has to be good enough– I could play with some of these posts for weeks. Fortunately, I’ve got a schedule to keep, so I have to let the posts go. Occasionally, I’ll reread a piece later and see a mistake. It makes me cringe, but the world goes on.
  • A career in writing involves mandatory, non-writing activity – All right, I still complain about this one sometimes. For example, I am not a tech person. But I set up and maintain my own website. I have had temper-tantrums over this site that rival those of my kids’, but the site exists. In a related vein, I originally had no interest in social media whatsoever, but I was persuaded two years ago that Facebook and Twitter were mandatory for writers. Just try to pull me away from Twitter now. (You can find me there–often–at @THahnBurkett.)
  • Sometimes a blog post launches into the internet … and nobody cares– It’s the blogger’s form of rejection, and like any other rejection, it hurts. You think you’ve written a sparkling post that deserves to go viral–and all you get is a single comment that’s actually pharmaceutical spam. Over time, you learn how to deal with it and you try to learn from it. See if you can write better next time.
  • The best part: every one of the above lessons has carried over into other forms of writing – I’m certain I never would have had the courage to attempt more complex forms of writing requiring study and longterm commitment if I hadn’t practiced regularly for several years first. Now, after years of work, I’ve got a first draft of a novel in hand.

I’ll admit that with a novel in revision, a list of essay topics waiting to be written or revised and a children’s book manuscript languishing for want of market research, there are many times I’ve thought of giving up the blog so that I might have more time to work on these other projects.

With a novel in revision, I remember how much I’ve learned by blogging in the first place, and I know my education isn’t complete. I won’t ever really know what I’m doing, so I’ll get to keep asking questions.

And isn’t that what writing is all about?” End of post.

I have been blogging for four years now and I have experienced most of the stories and challenges mentioned in the above post.  Before blogging, I have been writing for over 10 years, mostly for myself, like my diary, poems…I never contemplated publishing anything (I mean the hard paper works), and then I discovered that I can publish without the need of publishers and the traditional process…

Isn’t blogging the best means to getting in touch with community and with yourself?  I Had to write and publish my auto-biography (biography of a non glamorous guy) just to know myself and be honest and frank with my readers.  In addition to my autobiography and many sections of my diary (related to travel, events, wars, academic works, teaching methods…) that I have experienced and witnessed, I published two novels (still, nothing in hard paper, although I much prefer to read hard paper manuscripts over internet pieces…) 

I published most of what I have written after serious editing, and now I have 2,400 articles displayed on my blog with an assortment of about 50 categories.  I used to write on my computer and then save on USB.  And then, my computer broke down and couldn’t afford to repair it or purchase an upgrade.  I reverted to typing directly on platform: I constantly have a dozen posts in draft forms saved on my social platform, ready to be edited and augmented. 

There are no lack of topics or subject matters to exploring: You have got to feeling engaged and most topics that you read in books, magazines, dailies…find a route to your blog. At first, I had no idea how to navigate the net or even to publish properly my posts: I failed to add categories and tags for the first six months. Currently, it is a constant task to re-editing older articles as I discover that they are being read!  You find me adding fresh and current notes on older articles. No newly acquired pieces of intelligence or information that cannot find their proper location in my posts.

An important notice: Writing is different from publishing, even on the internet: There is an invisible moral red line when you decide to publish a piece.  You have responsibilities of honesty, doing your due diligence in continuing your education and knowledge, double checking your sources…You are an author and you do have an audience!

Note: Tracy Hahn-Burkett is a writer who often focuses on topics inspired by her transracial, multicultural and interfaith family.  A former public-policy advocate, Tracy traded suits for blue jeans and fleece eight years ago when she moved to New Hampshire, where she lives with her husband and two children.  She blogs at, is a regular honorary contributor at the fiction-writing blog,, and she’s working on her first novel.

Goodbye perfectionism. Hello “Let go”. How to learn to delegate?

Why do you have to delegate tasks? What for, and how hard could it be? First, let us read the experience of

How TEDxBeirut taught me to delegate

“I’ve been a perfectionist all my life. If I needed something done right, I’d do it myself.
I’m aware of it. I fight it hard. I lose most of the time. I win sometimes. Because of TEDxBeirut, I think I’m now equipped to win most of the time.

With the sheer amount of work (to prepare) for TEDxBeirut event (on Sept.24), I had no choice but to let go. It worked ‘perfectly’ well. I learned these simple but powerful lessons that hopefully can help you delegate.

1. Brief the team as clearly as you can. Don’t tell them what to do step-by-step. Explain the desired outcome, and the reasoning behind it. This empowers them to own the work and the responsibility.

2. Let go.

3. Let them mess up. Don’t interfere.

4. Let them fix it. Don’t interfere.

5. Let them mess up while fixing it. Don’t interfere.

6. When there isn’t enough time left, take over. Fix it.

7. If there isn’t enough time left for you to fix it, let go. It has passed.

8. Once complete, take a look. Share with the team what you loved about their work. No need to mention what you didn’t like because these might be a result of your perfectionist tendency. With time, the team will maximize what you like, and minimize what you don’t.

I know I was under pressure to let go. You might not have it that easy, but try.
Goodbye perfectionism. Hello letting go.”

There is this pivotal assumption before delegating tasks: The tem members are skilled in their task, and they have been trained to implement the tasks.  Otherwise, why delegate? Why accept unskilled members in the team?

Given that the first assumption is satisfied, it is part of the training process to allow a member to err, to do mistakes.  The question is: Should we permit the member who erred to fix his mistake voluntarily, or we call for a general meeting of “experts” in order to analyze the “performance” of the team members?

Any member should appreciate to receiving feedback on his work, and it has not to be technical in nature.  The team, as a group, has the tendency to err on a large-scale and miss the goal, unless occasional rectifications are implemented. Frequent meetings are essential in keeping the cohesion of the team and redirecting their work. Waiting for “step 6”  in order to interfere and fix the mistake is already too late, if we think that the member is about “to fix it” on a timely manner: A few pointers to the members are in place as they realize their mistake.

When all is done, it is of the past, and what has been achieved is the “best” under the current conditions of methodology and administration. The next event is not from the past, and it should build on the misconceptions and mistakes of the previous ways of “doing business”.

You can have it that easy if you delegate all the way because you are under time pressure: It should not be that easy under any circumstances.




October 2011

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