Adonis Diaries

America Satirical “The Onion” to Sue Lebanon: Political system far beyond the reach of satire?

Posted on: February 23, 2013

America The Onion to Sue Lebanon: Political system far beyond the reach of satire?


The American satirical magazine The Onion is to sue Lebanon for unfair competition practices. Like what?

1.  For making its headlines look totally reasonable.

2.  For going out of its way to make The Onion’s headlines look ordinary by comparison.

3. For “reforms” of the political/social structure in Lebanon surpassing the absurd: Any attempt of satire sounds egregiously ridiculous in the face of these “stoned serious” representative deputies and political leaders “reforming” the system…

The Onion is demanding million of dollars in compensation, claiming that the small Mediterranean country has ‘ruined the business of writing satirical headlines’.

The magazine’s claim refers to a ‘sustained campaign of non nonsensical l but nevertheless real headlines’ over a number of years…

Karl reMarks posted this Feb. 20, 2013

The straw that broke the camel’s back was Lebanon’s adoption of a new electoral law that requires members of each sect to vote for candidates from their sect only.

A senior staff member at The Onion, Andy Mitchell, revealed the pressure that the magazine’s writers have been under in an interview earlier today. “How can we possibly satirize that? Anything we will come up with will look extremely normal. This is fucking insane.”

Lebanon is trying to create a monopoly in ludicrous headlines and I’m afraid to say it’s succeeding

Lebanese Politics: The Board Game

Michell resumed:
“The law says the Christian Maronites, and I am not quite sure what Maronites are, must vote for Maronites candidates, Shiites for Shiite candidates, Sunnis for Sunni candidates and so on. Except for Jews. Jews can vote for candidates of any sect they choose! Now if we had put that in a satirical article, we would have been accused of unreasonable exaggeration.”

“And why do they call it the Orthodox Electoral Law? There’s NOTHING Orthodox about it.

They must be pulling our leg.

No political system in the world is that twisted, not even North Korea’s.

This is obviously part of a determined effort to undermine what we and other satirical publications do.

Lebanon is trying to create a monopoly in ludicrous headlines and I’m afraid to say it’s succeeding.”

It is understood that The Onion’s lawyers will target Lebanon under anti-trust laws and ‘freakin’ common sense’.

Note 1:  Orthodox Electoral Law is to institute:

1. A proportional electoral system, a first since 1943

2. Tiny Lebanon would be considered a single district, and not 13 districts, a first since 1943

3. Apparently, you vote for 134 candidates from all sects, and not the candidates representing your religious sect. 67 of “Christians” sects and 67 of Moslem sects… And I’m wondering, how this law is criticized as sectarian if this is the case?

4. Obviously, the voter will have to do his due diligence to grasp the value of each of the numerous candidates he is asked to vote for. That should be a big hurdle, a necessary hurdle to overcome if you claim you want democracy.

Note 2: Political parties and social organizations would have to negotiate lists of 134 candidates, representing barely 2 million voters

Note 3: Every time an new electoral law is  contemplated, the main purpose is to increase the numbers of deputies in the Parliament. Sort of the leaders need to make room for their offspring to climb fast elevators to power…

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February 2013

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