Adonis Diaries

President Obama is to visit Palestine and Israel: An American/Palestian humored this visit …

Posted on: March 16, 2013

President Obama to visit Palestine and Israel: An American/Palestian has this to say…

Amer Zahr posted in the CivilArab this March 13, 2013. Amer has this to say:

Mr. President, I hear you are traveling to Israel next week.  As a concerned patriotic American citizen of Palestinian descent, I have some pointers for you.

I assume you’ll be flying into Tel Aviv.  Usually, when non-Jews arrive there, especially if they are a little darker-skinned, they are asked to wait in a… let’s call it a “VIP Room.”

Incidentally, the room is quite nice. There’s a water cooler, comfortable chairs, and a soda machine.  It’s probably the only place in the world where you can be racially profiled and get an ice-cold Coca-Cola all at once.

To avoid the room, I would mention that you are the President of the United States.  It might help.

You may get strip-searched.

Saying that you are an American doesn’t help much here.  I’ve tried.

I even sang the national anthem last time an Israeli soldier was looking down my pants.  Right after I said, “Oh say can you see,” he said, “Not much.”

To escape this embarrassment, I would mention that you are the President of the United States.  It might help.

In case they don’t already know, you might not want to tell Israeli security you are half-Muslim.

As a fellow half-Muslim, I can tell you they don’t really care about the percentage.

Any bit of Muslim freaks them out. And I’m not sure if you heard, but the fans of one of Israel’s soccer teams, Beitar Jerusalem, actually protested when the club signed two Muslim players.  When one of them scored in a game last week, hundreds of fans actually walked out of the stadium.  One of the fans later stated about the Muslim players, “It’s not racism. They just shouldn’t be here.” Hopefully, they don’t know your middle name is “Hussein.” Maybe they didn’t watch the inauguration.

In any case, I would mention that you are the President of the United States.  It might help.

This next one might be a little tough.

Maybe you didn’t hear, but lately there has been a little “African problem” in Israel.  Over the past several years, tens of thousands immigrants from Africa, mostly from Eritrea and Sudan, have entered the “only democracy in the Middle East.”  Most of them are looking for work, and some are political refugees.  Israel has recently rounded up many of them for deportation.

Oh, and by the way, they don’t call them “refugees” or “migrants,” they call them “infiltrators.”  Israelis have held numerous demonstrations in Tel Aviv, where most of the migrants live, to demand an African exodus from Israel.

And the refugees aren’t the only Africans Israel seems to have a problem with.  About 150,000 Israeli Jews are of Ethiopian descent.  A number of news organizations reported early this year that Israeli government doctors had been giving Ethiopian Jewish women contraceptives either against their will or without their knowledge.

The Israeli government admitted the practice and decided to stop it once it was reported on.  See, Mr. Obama, many rabbis in Israel have questioned the “Jewishness” of Ethiopian Jews.  And if you’re not Jewish in Israel, well… I’d be glad to give you the full story on that someday.

So they’re not too crazy about their own Ethiopian citizens, and last year, Benjamin Netanyahu warned that illegal immigrants from Africa “threaten our existence as a Jewish and democratic state.”  I know, “Jewish” and “democratic”? It’s confusing.  I’ll try to explain that one to you one day too, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to.  But I think one thing is clear.  Israel does not seem to like Africans too much.

I know Mr. President that you’re not from Eritrea, Ethiopia, or Sudan, but I probably wouldn’t advertise too strongly that your dad was from Kenya.  This might be really hard, given your skin tone and everything, especially if you’re bringing Michelle with you.

To avoid any dangers of getting deported to Nairobi, I would just keep mentioning that you are the President of the United States.  It might help.

When you leave, Israeli security officers are going to search your bags.  And they don’t do it casually with a smile like our airport security here.  They go through your stuff like a wife looking for evidence of an affair.

You might remind them that you, as the President of the United States, sign their checks.

And they’re going to strip search you again.  Yes, on the way out too.  Strip searches in Israel are “buy one, get one free.”

They perform the strip search in a section of the airport aside from where the normal operations are conducted.  You’ll run into a few of your Palestinian-American constituents when you’re there.  I know it’s a weird place for someone to ask to take a picture with you, but to us, it’s just part of visiting home.

You don’t have to mention to us that you are the President of the United States.

We already know.  We supported you, twice.  Maybe you can return the favor?

3 Responses to "President Obama is to visit Palestine and Israel: An American/Palestian humored this visit …"

Half-muslim? Like a little bit pregnant? About those Sudanese and Eritreans – they’ve entered Israel by sneaking in through the border, its not like they have a visa, do they? So remind me what the USA border security does to those residing illegally in the USA?

Just so I understand – how is singing the American anthem supposed to help you go through customs? Do you try it in other countries as well, or just when you’re going to Israel? I might try it myself next time, when they start questioning me on landing (they do it every time, even though I’m Israeli, Jewish and of European origin).

Oh and since you’ve mentioned Ethiopians – Israelis have such a big problem with Jews of Ethiopian descend that they’ve recently elected one of them as a beauty queen! The nerve! Now the poor girl wil be forced to leave her family to represent Israel on Miss Universe competition. Who knows if they will let her back into the country if she fails to win…

I guess “famous” people in the USA are given citizenship quickly, regardless of color or ethnic origin… Those deported have resided in Israel for over 20 years and have no relatives they know in their country of origin… They didn’t sneak in: Israel needed work force to circumvent the Palestinians…I guess

What do you mean they didn’t sneak in? How do you call crawling across the border at night then? And how exactly does breaking the law for an extended periode of time make it OK?

Those who have succesfully sneaked in are given the right to work to support themselves and are not being deported to conflict zones like Darfur. That despite the fact that the absolute majority of those illegals are muslims, who are not exactly Israel-loving model citizens.

Check your facts, please, before you guess. And I also recommend you to look up some info on the treatment of those Sudanese and Eritreans by their muslim brother in Egypt, on their way to Israel. Perhaps you’ll find out why they don’t stay in Egypt and prefer to endure the horrors of the Zionist regime.

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