Adonis Diaries

Archive for June 25th, 2014

 

“Scrounger” people according to Iain Duncan

Utterly, utterly brilliant! Perfect in fact. Give this woman a standing ovation!
Ren WaromGive this woman a standing ovation!

“There’s no love, just proofs of loving”

What could be proofs of “being in love”?

How men and women express their love in action and behavior?

Men and women are two different species and their behaviors differ when expressing their being in love.

Une preuve d’amour.
Une preuve comme d’autres. L’attente, un enfant, un trajet. Les femmes et les hommes n’expriment pas leur amour de la même façon.
Les premières le font continuellement. Chaque jour. Dans des attentions quotidiennes, dans le don de leur temps ou de leur être.
Les hommes sont plus dans le concret. Dans les cadeaux et dans les gestes. Les actes fous et insensés. L’amour d’un homme est toujours plus violent. Plus enivrant. Plus troublant.
Un homme amoureux brise les tabous.
Il bouscule l’ordre établi de sa vie. Il quitte une femme pour une autre. Il se quitte lui-même. Il attend une femme. Des années. Qu’elle se décide ou qu’elle se libère. Il lui demande sa main. Il lui fait une scène de jalousie.
Les femmes et les hommes n’expriment pas leur amour de la même manière.
Même si parfois ils se retrouvent dans un trip identique. Sauf que la méthode de calcul n’est pas pareille. Équation et multiplication.
Il est donc compliqué que ces deux êtres-là se comprennent. Sauf dans leur discours amoureux. Dans leur langage intime. Dans les bras l’un de l’autre.
Les preuves d’amour échangées par les hommes et les femmes auraient la même fonction que pour les animaux.
Normal, nous faisons bien partie de l’espèce animale. En vue de se reproduire, le mâle ferait la démonstration de sa richesse et de sa puissance. La femelle, de sa beauté. Les loups viendraient donc de Mars et les tigresses de Vénus. Et ça, ça complique les choses.
Dès lors que l’un des deux amoureux rentre dans la revendication de l’amour de l’autre à travers des mots ou des preuves, ça ne colle plus.
« Tu m’aimes, prouve le. » La plus belle fille du monde ne peut donner que ce qu’elle a. Et chacun concentre son énergie quelque part. Des années pour elle, un enfant pour lui. L’enfant que la plupart des gens considèrent comme étant la plus belle preuve d’amour. Ça dépend pour qui.
Les preuves d’amour ne sont pas forcément inscrites dans la durée. Les preuves d’amour éphémères sont aussi belles que les éternelles. Mourir avec l’autre ou l’attendre des heures durant sous la pluie juste pour l’apercevoir, on ne peut rien quantifier. L’amour ne se quantifie pas. L’amour ne se qualifie pas.
L’amour ne s’explique pas. Chacun le définit comme il l’entend. Il le labélise, le schématise. Chacun voit dans l’action de l’autre une preuve. Une preuve qui pourrait sembler dérisoire aux yeux des autres, mais qui prend toute son ampleur en fonction de l’être épris.
Faire Montpellier-Beyrouth en voiture et en 36 heures pour l’anniversaire de sa fiancée, prendre un avion, deux avions, trois avions sur un coup de tête et la suivre en Tanzanie pour lui déclarer sa flamme et au passage la demander en mariage.
Quelle que soit la durée de ce mariage. Peu importe le flacon pourvu qu’on ait l’ivresse. L’ivresse d’un acte. Une chanson écrite pour sa belle. Something, Wonderful tonight. George Harrison, Eric Clapton, la même femme.
Un massage quand il est malade. Un colis rempli de jararengs, envoyé à New York par DHL parce qu’il aime ça, dire « nous » quand il parle, aimer son sale caractère, tolérer sa mère, aimer ses phrases qui commencent par « moi je », supporter son bordel, avaler sa mauvaise cuisine, avoir toujours envie de lui après 20 ans, lui faire plaisir sexuellement, lui faire plaisir, casser la gueule au connard qui lui a manqué de respect, lui offrir un voyage la veille du départ, lui écrire des lettres pendant toute sa vie, lui dédier un roman, le peindre, la filmer, lui faire de la place dans son armoire, dans son lit, bref dans sa vie.
Toutes ces preuves sont autant de déclarations que n’importe quel discours. Aussi amoureux soit-il.

 

From Syria to Sweden: The story of Stateless Syrian Palestinian in search for Identity

More than 2.8 million Syrians have been forced to leave their country so far. The vast majority of them remaining in neighboring countries, such as Turkey (764,000), Lebanon (1,093,069) and Jordan (597,328), according to the UN Refugee Agency. 

They are often living in dire conditions because countries like Lebanon and Jordan are already under extreme economic and political strain. Few others went seeking refuge in Europe.

However, Europe has only granted asylum to 89,000 people. Though Europe is failing refugees from Syria , Sweden is one of the few European countries to offer permanent residence to Syrians arriving at its borders.

Salim Salamah, found refuge in Sweden after fleeing Syria to Lebanon. I met Salim a few weeks ago in Malmo, the most densely populated area in Scandinavia, but he wasn’t a mere Syrian refugee.

While he was introducing himself, he was not sure if he should say a “Syrian-Palestinian”, “Palestinian from Syria”, “refugee in Sweden”, becoming “Swedish” or maybe just a human being!

As I was confidently introducing myself as a Tunisian African and explaining more about my Africanism, he smiled and replied: “I like that you clearly know who you are because I am still in search for my identity”.

This complex identity of Salim dates back to his family’s displacement in 1948 following the Nakba that expelled Palestinians from their homes.

He was born in 1989 and raised in Yarmouk refugee camp (by Damascus), a historical Palestinian neighborhood established in Damascus during the 50s.

At the age of 24, Salim found himself a refugee “again” and as he says “the journey continues…”

 

Images and dates have been engraved in his memory because of their atrocities… “28th October 2013 I left Syria…Taking that decision wasn’t easy! Because there will be no soon return to Damascus”.

Getting into severe depression during his last few weeks in Syria, he was afraid of loosing himself by “not doing any good” for himself or his country.

A decision has been made because of the suffocation of a peaceful movement yearned for freedom. “From March to September, the movement was pacifist then the security became so tight that we couldn’t move around anymore…people had to fire back and when that happened, I couldn’t have a place for myself there! because I didn’t want to die or kill”.

Life in Damascus has become a nightmare for him with the checkpoints…“Day after day, moving within and outside Yarmouk has become difficult as between two checkpoints, there is another one, so you will never know who will stop you and when you will be arrested! It was just like jumping into the fire”.

The regime then operated an organized process to get rid of activists like Salim, by arresting, torturing or constantly threatening them.   “It was a slow death of the civil resistance and peaceful social movement, I was at risk as everybody was!”

Beside demonstrating, campaigning, and being part of political gatherings, Salim’s special crime was blogging and telling jokes about the Syrian army. His poem “A day in Damascus”, says “passing by the checkpoint, I spit on it to return some of my dignity” and that was accused by the Syrian authorities as undermining the “prestige of the state”.

Once in Beirut for almost four months, Salim tried to recover from war trauma and reconnect again… “breathe again” by writing poetry. Despite dealing with his own healing process, Salim was managing a project with Al Ghawth organization in Syria. “Unfortunately the project ended after few months because we didn’t get the needed funding as international donors and NGOs were not interested in finding partners to respond to the urgent need of Syrian communities and kids under war but more interested to enslave organizations for their own agendas”

Travelled for the first time in his entire life outside Syria and Lebanon, he finally arrived to Sweden on 14th February 2012.

“When I arrived, I was surprised with the snow and the dark short days”. It took sometime for him to adapt to the new weather, language, space, currency, lifestyle and to understand  “the strange situation” in order to find his way in the new place.(It would be good for Salim to read the new book of Alexander Najjar “Millesgarten” about his journey in Sweden)

Despite the terrible situation in Syria, there is an ongoing debate about the legitimacy of the choice of activists who fled the country to seek refuge in the United States and Scandinavia.

Salim has clearly made this choice as an “individual salvation”… “I claimed political asylum because I can’t basically go anywhere as Palestinian from Syria but I made it to Sweden because I was just lucky!”

It is indeed a special case for the Palestinians from Syria.

When the UN adopted the Refugee Convention and established the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, it excluded those falling within the UNRWA mandate from coverage under UNHCR’s mandate.

“Outside UNRWA-mandate area, which is Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, or the West Bank and Gaza Strip, we are without protection”.

A concrete example of Salim’s frustration is the recent case of the four Palestinian Syrian activists detained in Sri Lanka a few weeks ago. “UNHCR Sri Lanka refused to give a statement on the issue. Husam, Muhammad, Ali and Baha are now at Buddha military prison where they have been badly treated psychologically and physically”.

Recently, Palestinians fleeing Syria are denied help even in Lebanon. 

Sadly, the tragic cases of Palestinian-Syrian refugees continue, not only in the global north, but even in the Arab region and especially in countries that sparked the revolutions in the region such as TunisiaEgypt among other countries.. “in Damascus, we were celebrating the day Ben Ali fled Tunisia, today when Syrian Palestinians arrived to Tunis, they remained stuck in Carthage airport with no support”…

As the spokesman of the Human Rights Palestinian LeagueSalim closely follows these cases and releases statements to support Syrian Palestinians without national or international protectionHaving the advantage to understand better such situation, Salim found himself working with refugees though he aims to work more with youth and children.

Beside joining the executive board of the Human Rights Palestinian League earlier this year, he helps a Swedish organization in group development of coming refugees, especially in terms of communication with Arabic and French speaking refugees from Syria and African countries.

“I’m still sad, frustrated… because of this ongoing war that is rewarding to international community powers and Syrian regime rather than the Syrian people but working with people here is also rewarding …”

Partially recovered from the war trauma …  Salim regained his life, strength and energy and he is moving forward in empowering himself and others.  

I contacted Salim again today to ask him of what the World Refugees Day would mean to him as a refugee. He immediately answered “you know… once you are a refugee, you are a refugee forever, at least for myself”.

He then took some silent moments and recalled the quotes of his friend Homi Bhabha

“the globe shrinks for those who own it… but for the displaced or dispossessed, the migrant or refugee, no distance is more awesome than the few feet across borders or frontiers” … then he continues “Today I achieved my few feet, and if I can make one more human being achieve those few feet, I will help!”

Having his family arrived to Sweden 6 months ago, Salim now feels more safe, something he hasn’t felt for a while. Still hard for him to be disconnected “twice” from where he belongs… then to be asked to belong somewhere else…

I don’t identify myself as a citizen of any place…” at least his confusion has gone since our first conversation a month ago and now he can confidently identity himself as human being or citizen of the world…

 

 


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

June 2014
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

Blog Stats

  • 1,427,401 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.adonisbouh@gmail.com

Join 774 other followers

%d bloggers like this: