Adonis Diaries

Archive for December 4th, 2014

Question: “Have you ever done this before?

The fear of freedom

What will you do next?

What can you learn tomorrow?

Where will you live, who will you connect with, who will you trust?

Are questions better than answers?

Maybe it’s easier to get a dummies book, a tweet or a checklist than it is to think hard about what’s next…

It’s certainly easier to go shopping. And easier still to buy what everyone else is buying.

We live in an extraordinary moment, with countless degrees of freedom (in the developed nations).

The instant and effortless connection to a billion people changes everything, but instead, we’re paralyzed with fear, a fear so widespread that you might not even notice it.

We have more choices, more options and more resources than any generation, ever.

(Is fear of freedom tightly linked to increased choices and fear of failing to do our due diligence more frequently than ever?)

[Reminder: Black Friday is a media trap, an orchestrated mass hallucination based on herd dynamics and the media cycle.]

UI

What a trip

My shadowless journey among the living

I keep hearing: Life is just a trip

What trip?

A few come to life, their trip all planned out, scheduled, financed…

They tried all kinds of transport facilities and toured the world without luggage

They get out in their voyage for long treks in nature, climb mountains, surf, hunt wild animal in safaris…

They never had to try Greyhound or these slow trains for destinations not so exciting, and pretty unknown.

A few come to life not having any stipend to dismount from the transport carriage to have a bite

As many riders do in the bus.

A few are discovered in the landing gears of airplanes: They are retrieved in a state of hibernation

Many have no idea where on earth they were born and why they were born.

Frequently trailing after the long pilgrimage convoys to the nearest UN compound for food, potable water

And treatment for curable diseases.

Occasionally they are pushed to join “revolutionary” armies as kid slaves

After being forced to kill their mother, father, and elder brothers and sisters.

It is getting tradition to board rickety ships as immigrants, after suffering long journeys in desert and refugee camps

And hoped to be picked up by more comfortable salvage ships.

The vast majority are stashed in containers

And human-packed containers cross oceans in total darkness

And in the stench of totally closed compartment.

Cars are the transport means that killed and handicapped most trip takers

And particularly in countries suffering from embargoes on spare parts

The daily toll is staggering.

I was packed in the luggage compartment of some transport means and forgotten.

I was found 6 years later.

I woke up after a coma of eternity to discover a semblance of life.

I chocked when I had my first breath of fresh air: It was poisonous to my weakling constitution.

For the first time I noticed shadows of people surrounding me.

And I wanted one of them shadows, all mine.

I was transferred so many times and experienced all kinds of confinement in boarding schools,

In private schools and later in public universities.

I was shuffled from one main language to another main language schools.

As adult, I kept sharing apartment and lived in tight basements, modern caves…

I wanted a shadow, but wanting and getting one is not an easy journey among the living.

My best refuge was dark rooms and basements.

I was a totally transparent body among the living up the age of 13.

Living bodies who never noticed me or paid any attention to me.

Why I’m under the impression that never talked to anybody till the age of 13?

Why I’m under the impression that nobody talked to me till then?

I had no shadow to impress and attract the living.

I joined in trips with the living:

It is not of any fault or limitations of the living for isolating me.

I just had no subjects or emotions that could create any kinds of passions in me

To transmit, communicate, explore.

What a trip among the living

As if no lights left any trace of a shadow

Behind or ahead of me.

And I didn’t find any good enough reason to observe the living and their behaviors.

It is not an easy job to establish a salient shadow.

Years later, I managed to secure a room of my own in the ground floor.

I installed the bookshelves, the computer, the homework of my university students…

I thought I was settled.

Relatives of mine deemed this room a luxury for someone just intent on reading and writing.

A room that was vouchsafed to be better vacant and put for rent.

Instead of being rent, my own room was reserved for storing unwanted belonging that were cramming

And disfiguring their interior designed space for receiving the rare visitors.

Why do I write?

So I can learn to observe.

I observe to resuscitate whatever feeling and emotions I buried

In the deepest recesses of my convoluted memory.

Still this shadowless individual,

Still learning to observe the shadows

Note: I began my piece 3 days ago, before I stumbled on Thomas Mann’s essay “Nobleness of the Spirit”. I flipped to the chapter of the German poet Chamisso and discovered the novel “The marvelous story of Peter Schlemihl (1813)”. I got the key symbol of Shadow and ran with it.

Read every day and you’ll never lack inspirations to improve and finish an essay.

Breaking the Silence, Straw Widow invasion of homes

From Naomi Wolf on FB

From the Waldman article.

“My guides were a couple of Jewish Israelis, raised in religious homes, who had served as soldiers in the West Bank.

As a result of what they saw and what they did, they now devote their lives to raising awareness about the injustices of the Occupation.

My guides described in painful detail the structural inequality of a land where one ethnic group lives under oppressive military rule, and another under democratic, civilian authority.

They described receiving explicit instruction to make Palestinians feel as if they were constantly under surveillance, constantly pursued, constantly harassed.

They said their role, as described by Moshe Ya’alon, the current defense minister and former army chief of staff, was to “sear the hearts and minds of the Palestinians.”

My guides told me of instances in which they were involved in “Straw Widow” actions, where they invaded a Palestinian home, shut the family into a single room, and then made free use of the house.

Ostensibly these home invasions were conducted for security reasons, but just as often they were simple training exercises.

Sometimes the homes were chosen because they had a satellite dish, and an important soccer match was on TV.

What hope is there?” I asked them, in response.

They replied that they named their organization Breaking the Silence because they fervently believe that once people know what is happening in Hebron and the rest of the Palestinian territories, change is inevitable.”


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

December 2014
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Blog Stats

  • 1,418,739 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.adonisbouh@gmail.com

Join 770 other followers

%d bloggers like this: