Adonis Diaries

Archive for November 4th, 2015

Entitlement, worthiness, joy killer and Election Day

Entitlement vs. worthiness

Entitlement is the joy killer.

Any other day of the year, hand a kid a chocolate bar and he’ll be thrilled. Do it on Halloween and it’s worth almost Nothing.

When you receive something you feel entitled to, something expected, that you believe you’ve earned, it’s not worth much.

And when you don’t receive it, you’re furious.

After all, it’s yours. Already yours. And you didn’t get it. Whether you’re wearing a hobo costume or showing up as a surgeon after years of medical school, entitlement guarantees that you won’t get what you need.

Worthiness, on the other hand, is an essential part of receiving anything.

When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw. It’s hardly worth anything, because you decided in advance, before you got the feedback, that you weren’t worthy.

It’s possible to feel worthy without feeling entitled.

Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory. We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open or humble.

Both entitlement and unworthiness are the work of the resistance. The twin narratives make us bitter, encourage us to be ungenerous, keep us stuck.

Divas are divas because they’ve tricked themselves into believing both narratives–that they’re not getting what they’re entitled to, and, perversely, that they’re not worth what they’re getting.

The entitled yet frightened voice says, “What’s the point of contributing if those people aren’t going to appreciate it sufficiently?” And the defensive unworthy voice says, “What’s the point of shipping the work if I don’t think I’m worthy of being paid attention to…”

The universe, it turns out, owes each of us very little indeed.

Hard work and the dangerous commitment to doing something that matters doesn’t get us a guaranteed wheelbarrow of prizes… but what it does do is help us understand our worth.

That worth, over time, can become an obligation, the chance to do our best work and to contribute to communities we care about.

When the work is worth it, make more of it, because you can, and because you’re generous enough to share it.

“I’m not worthy,” isn’t a useful way to respond to success. And neither is, “that’s it?”

It might be better if we were just a bit better at saying, “thank you.”

Election day

Every day, people vote.

They vote for brands, for habits, for the people they trust.

They vote for where they will place their attention, their money and their time.

The big difference is that you can do just fine in today’s election without winning a majority of votes.

Most elections aren’t winner-take-all. (Unless you live in unfair political systems)

The people at the edges, the special interest groups and the weird ones matter a lot when you don’t need a landslide to make a difference.

The magic is this: As soon as you stop acting like you need every single vote, you can earn the votes of the people you seek to serve.

Benefits of a bilingual brain

Believe it or not, before the 1960s, researchers thought children learning other languages was a handicap.

As educator Mia Nacamulli explains in the TED-Ed video below, bilingual kids have shown slower reaction times on some language tests.

People back in the day made some hypotheses that that must mean it’s a drawback for students.

But researchers now know that learning another language is actually an amazing way to keep your brain healthy.

It won’t necessarily make you smarter, but Nacamulli points out it’s now believed that being bilingual* exercises your brain and makes it stronger, more complex, and healthier.

And if you’re young, you get an added bonus

Noor Khalil shared a link.

What does being bilingual really achieve?

1. It changes the structure of your brain.

Researchers have observed being multilingual can visibly make the neurons and synapses in the brain’s gray matter denser and spur more activity in other regions of the brain when using another language.

Basically, it’s a brain workout!

And another neurological study notes the white matter in the brains of older lifelong bilinguals has a higher integrity compared to older monolinguals. (What integrity means in this context?)

2. It strengthens your brain’s abilities.

That gray matter up there contains all the neuronal cell bodies and stuff (that’s a technical term) that controls your muscles, senses, memory, and speech.

Newer studies show that those slow reaction times and errors on language tests really reflect that the effort of switching between languages is beefing up the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex — the part of yer noggin’ that controls problem-solving, switching tasks, and focusing on important stuff while filtering out what’s irrelevant.

3. It can help delay Alzheimer’s and dementia by as much as four or five years.

Yes. Sí. Oui. When bilinguals are compared to monolinguals, that is.

And although some cognitive research notes there’s still a similar rate of decline after onset, more years of a super-strong brain is always a good thing.

Now, this fourth one gets a little bit nuts.

Nacamulli says it’s believed there’s a key difference between a young bilingual person and someone who learns another language in adulthood.

4. There’s a theory that children who are bilingual get to be emotionally bilingual.

The parts of the brain that are being strengthened while speaking multiple languages include not just the analytical and logical side of the brain but the emotional and social side as well.

It’s called the critical period hypothesis.

The separation of the hemispheres increases as we grow up, so when you’re a kid — the hypothesis holds — the two sides are a little more plastic and ready to work together while learning language.

Nacamulli says this could be why children seem to get the contextual social and emotional nuances of other languages better than grown-ups who became multilingual later and instead often think … well … like grown-ups.

Speaking more than one language turns our brains into powerhouses, and it makes our children more emotionally intelligent!

It’s definitely not a handicap. It’s a superpower.

For more on the magical bilingual brain, TED-Ed has some great info!

Note: Though I’m tri-lingual (speak and write), my verbal intelligence (rhetoric and clear vocalization of intentions) is pretty deficient. Verbal intelligence is a matter of nurturing while a kid (spoken to, asked your opinion, invited to mingle with grown up people, initiated to artistic courses…)

This unique son phenomena in China

The consequences of the new unique generation of Chinese

The One child policy of China that was adopted more than 3 decades ago.

Parents opted to abort the girl and keep the son (A ratio of 110/90 males to girls

The current policy of allowing for 2 children is not going to make much of a difference.

Probably, the parents will continue to abort the second girl in preference for a second son

And what are the known characteristics and attitudes of a unique child?

Selfish, not good at sharing, tyrannical, capricious, self-centered, secretive.

These characters are mostly of a nurturing epigenetic nature.

Many of these descriptive characters are shared by children, but Not the entire set.

Soon there will be one and a half billion of Chinese on earth.
The current second role will soon be reward as a first global role in world status.

The best hope might turn out to be our worst nightmare.
For a short time yet the Chinese phenomenon will keep touching us just by ricochet.

Soon, very soon the new Chinese generation will be out of his secretive nature-Discreet, to touch us.
One and a half billion of unique children (males or females).

And I’m not unique to thinking of the coming calamity…
(Inspired from the French post of Jamil Berry)


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

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