Adonis Diaries

Archive for November 4th, 2017

Notes and tidbits on FB and Twitter. Part 78

Once we had a fair country. Still exists in ancient atlas. We cannot go there now, my dear

Cities are wild-life parks. Water and food keep animals at peace. Human emotions feed on myths

One million, a third of Lebanon population, fled during the 13-year civil war. To be replaced by over 1.5 million Syrian refugees. Still a third.

Lebanon, land of transit, of temporary melting pot since prehistory, before they transfer to greener pastures.

Evils overcome the good in cities. People still flock in. They get used to fear, to overcome their insane pride of making it.

L’ idee fix du journalist l’ empeche d’ entendre. Repeter et trouver des perspectives pour expliquer, rien ne fait

Israel violence refuses to abate: 120 Palestinians injured today for praying. No more restrictions allowed by Israel to pray under any form or shape or excuse or age or gender.

Nobody care to inflame publicly the craziness of the USA: they claim to have captured 50% of Raqqa when they didn’t even reach city limits (That was months ago, and now Raqqa completely destroyed Hiroshima- style)

Elle n’ eprouvait pas une grande sympathie pour la jeunesse: son aura etait de ceux qui n’ ont jamais ete’ jeune

La situation etait trop abstraite pour etre affreuse, trop peu etrangere pour n’ etre qu’ un cauchemar

Memory and autumn leaf murmur for a short while: note it down before winter comes

c’ st domage que les livres (hard copies) ne voyagent plus autant que leurs proprietaires.

Si chacun laisse (oublie) son livre quand il voyage, on pourrait esperer plus de gens qui lient.

Burning prisons of infamies that incarcerated the freedom to express conscious opinions is a normal follow-up activity to every genuine revolution

Tous les dictateurs, meme les plus charismatiques, ne sont que les symboles d’ un system dogmatique/ideologique that permeat society et la majorite silencieuse s’ en fout pas mal

Les quinquagenaires (plus de 50 ans) voient leur monde d’ une maniere positive: ils croient qu’ ils sont en age de le gouverner, sans qu’ ils aient jamais leve’ le petit doight pour l’ ameliorer

Peu de gens vous pretent l’oreille quand ils se cachent derriere un livre

Toutes les histoires commencent par une arrivee’ ou un depart. Le meme pour les nations: les pre-emptives wars et engagements pour le pouvoir

Most worthy activities in life are of the endurance kind. Even those trailing will ultimately reach destination

Al Aqsa resistance cannot be successful until all Israeli restrictions, search and harassment on prayers be lifted, regardless of age, gender or race.

It is a good idea for the Moslems to turn toward Jerusalem (Al Aqsa) for praying to send a strong message to Saudi Kingdom for failing Islam.

The downward cycle of getting dumber for audience continues to be passed from hand to hand for everything to become the National Enquirer. Measuring not the size of the audience, but their engagement and commitment produce the change.

initially, the prophet ordered to turn toward Jerusalem for prayer. Order reversed toward Mecca after the Jews turned against him twice and then firmly established his power in his city-state of Medina

 

 

How to Spot Psychological Manipulators

By Dr. Perry, PhD,  


“You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want.” ~Anonymous

There is an ebb and flow to life. The seasons change and the flowers bloom, only to later wilt.

We all give and take in our daily lives. Our interactions with one another are overall based on a healthy exchange of emotions, ideas and positive social interactions.

There are some individuals, that like crashing waves have a disruptive influence in our lives. They seem only interested in profiting from the relationship and will give little or nothing in exchange. They use psychological manipulation to disguise their true intent.

Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that uses deception, underhanded tactics and abuse in order to achieve the interests of the manipulator.

The manipulator may use these tactics for personal gain, to advance a covert agenda, gain a position of power and superiority in the relationship or simply because they are bored.

Manipulation may be a factor in a number of  mental disorders. (Or a sort of definite type of intelligence and vigor for life?)

It appears to be part of the psychopaths M.O. (modus operandi), in order to gain what they (Anti-social Disorder, Narcissistic Personality disorder, Histrionic Disorder) want. (we tend to throw nonchalantly all these disorders, as if everyone must be afflicted with most of them?)

While not all people who manipulate are suffering from a mental disorder, it is important to know how to identify manipulation and how to deal with it.

Manipulative individuals are able to detect your weaknesses and use them against you. You may encounter them at work, social settings or within your own family.

When you assert your boundaries, it is important to pay attention to how people react to your defense of a set boundary. If they react with a negative emotion such as anger, hostility, intimidation, silent treatment or playing the victim, you have found the border where their respect for you ends.

Here are some signs of manipulation:

1. Lying – Overtly or by omission, they will play with the truth to facilitate their goal. See my blog post How to Spot Deception for a more detailed look at deception.

2. Denial – They will deny doing anything wrong, even when caught red handed.

3. Anger/Defensive – When confronted, they will react with excessive anger or defensiveness. They will use anger to scare you into submission. They may even use controlled anger to shock their victim and get them to focus on the anger instead of the harm.

4. Rationalization – When confronted with their manipulative behavior they will explain it away and put a positive spin to it.

5. Minimization – They will explain their behavior in a way to minimize it. For example, after insulting you they may claim it was only a joke. (Except if they are really funny and have a great sense of humor that you lack?)

6. Diversion – When confronted or they feel you may be on to their manipulative ways they will divert your attention to another topic or may switch gears and physically do some act to get your attention.

7. Intimidation – The manipulator may resort to direct or implied threats in order to get a person to act or not act.

8. Guilt trip – To get a person to act, the manipulator will make statements to the victim such as “You don’t care,” “You are selfish,” “You have it easier” and other similar statements. What they say will depend on their perceived weakness of the target. They will use guilt to make the victim feel bad, doubt their boundaries and act according to the manipulators plan.

9. Shame – The manipulator may use shame and ‘put downs’ to create fear and self doubt. They may use sarcasm and mocking behavior to create a sense of inadequacy in their victim. This perceived inadequacy will cause the victim to doubt themselves and not dare to question the manipulator.

10. Playing the victim – The manipulator may play the role of victim in order to gain sympathy and pity. They will make up stories of hardship and pain and will use this tactic to manipulate good hearted individuals who wish to help.

11. Vilify the victim – The manipulator will falsely accuse the victim of a perpetrated act that they themselves are accused of. For example, they will claim that they are the ones being abused in order to put the victim on the defense. They will also project the blame to the victim. They will try to convince you and others that you are crazy or you are the abusive one.

12. Seduction – A manipulator will use flattery, charm and praise to get the victim to drop their guard and to gain the trust of the victim. This approach will be used repeatedly throughout a person’s relationship with the manipulator. It is often seen after the victim has pointed out past manipulative behavior. It is a way to lull a victim into complacency and acceptance of the behavior.

13. Feigning innocence – When confronted with their manipulative behavior, they will act surprised and appear not to know what the victim is talking about. They will make it appear as if it is a misunderstanding and that it is the victim who is seeing things in a negative way. This is another way of making the victim feel inadequate and confused.

14. Peer pressure – The manipulator may try to convince the victim that they should act a certain way because others are ‘ok’ with and engaging with the behavior.

Remember, you are in control of your life and you always have the right to say “NO” to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. (if you lack verbal intelligence, just say No? It is a good start)

Psychological manipulation is a form of mental bullying. (After adolescence, most bullying are primarily metal and emotional machinations)

Manipulators feed on their perceived weaknesses of others and will not stop unless confronted.

The intention of this post is to help you identify these behavior so you can put a stop to it or to avoid entirely. If you found this post to be helpful or insightful please remember to like, comment and share.

Note: Too many forms of manipulations surround us to be able to be conscious of in a timely manner. And time is our only allies to fortify us with wisdom and compassion)


 

 

Processing negative reviews

Assumption: Some people love what you do. They love your product, your service, the way you do your work (if that’s not true, this post isn’t for you. You have a more significant problem to work on first). (And they love and strongly hate my humors and good nature?)

So, how to understand it when someone hates what you do? When they post a one-star review, or cross the street to avoid your shop, or generally are unhappy with the very same thing that other people love?

It’s not for them.

They want something you don’t offer. Or they want to buy it from someone who isn’t you.

Or they don’t understand what it’s for or how or why you do it.

Some of these things you can address by telling a story more clearly, some you can’t.

Either way, right now, they’re telling you one thing: It’s not for them.

Okay, thanks for letting us know.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

November 2017
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