Adonis Diaries

Archive for February 13th, 2018

This is a motherfucking website.

“Good design is as little design as possible”.

Seriously, what the fuck else do you want?

You probably build websites and think your shit is special.

You think your 13 megabyte paralaxative home page is going to get you some fucking Award banner you can glue to the top corner of your site. You think your 40-pound jQuery file and 83 polyfills give IE7 a boner because it finally has box-shadow. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe your perfect-ass website:

  • Shit’s lightweight and loads fast
  • Fits on all your shitty screens
  • Looks the same in all your shitty browsers
  • The motherfucker’s accessible to every asshole that visits your site
  • Shit’s legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb pics of hipsters drinking coffee)

Well guess what, motherfucker:

You. Are. Over-designing.

Look at this shit. It’s a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit?

You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobytes to your fucking site, and some motherfucker jabbing at it on their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not to mention blind people will never see that shit, but they don’t see any of your shitty shit.

You never knew it, but this is your perfect website. Here’s why.

It’s fucking lightweight

This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking WordPress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of jQuery UI just so you could animate the fucking background color of a div?

You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont just so you could say “Hi.” at 100px height at the beginning of your site? You piece of shit.

It’s responsive

You dumbass. You thought you needed media queries to be responsive, but no. Responsive means that it responds to whatever motherfucking screensize it’s viewed on. This site doesn’t care if you’re on an iMac or a motherfucking Tamagotchi.

It fucking works

Look at this shit. You can read it … that is, if you can read, motherfucker. It makes sense. It has motherfucking hierarchy. It’s using HTML5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck’s in this fucking site. That’s semantics, motherfucker.

It has content on the fucking screen. Your site has three bylines and link to your dribbble account, but you spread it over 7 full screens and make me click some bobbing button to show me how cool the jQuery ScrollTo plugin is.

Cross-browser compatibility? Load this motherfucker in IE6. I fucking dare you.

This is a website. Look at it. You’ve never seen one before.

Like the pansy-ass who’s never grown out his beard has no idea what his true natural state is, you have no fucking idea what a website is. All you have ever seen are shitty skeuomorphic bastardizations of what should be text communicating a fucking message. This is a real, naked website. Look at it. It’s fucking beautiful.

Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck

I’m not actually saying your shitty site should look like this. What I’m saying is that all the problems we have with websites are ones we create ourselves.

Websites aren’t broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, and accessible. You break them. You son-of-a-bitch.

“Good design is as little design as possible.
– some German motherfucker

Note: I have no idea where I got this article or who wrote it

Advertisements

Do Night dreams dig deep into your emotional instability?

I went to bed at midnight and got up at 4:30 am in sweat, upset and totally angry. I had this night dream.

The dream: It’s a long day of graduating students, in open air gathering. Each student has to take the podium to deliver a talk on his thesis.

As usual, to prolong the nightmare in my dream I’m listed at the near end for the horror tasks.

I’m a timid person and has been for most of my life  and can’t face the public. My mind goes blank and I’m ashamed of asking questions: My questions might seem trivial and not at par of the subject matter.

All day long, I’m wishing a calamity to befall on this event and put an end to my horror.

Actually, I have never been satisfied with any thesis or achievement and feel my work is Not up to my initial goal.

As the girl just ahead of me started her talk, the rain drizzled and I found it legitimate to run away in order to dry my clothes. At my apartment, I’m lingering even after the rain stopped: I’m really not anxious to go back there.

By the time I got there, the event has finished. My friend takes me to meet the chairman in order to find out what are the consequences and remedies.

The chairman had no idea that it rained and quickly erased my name from the list of students who failed to deliver. He asked for a moment to discuss with the committee. He returned with a list of remedies for me to select from. Sort of reading a reviewing select books

Here, my lucid dream took over and I’m boasting that I have read all the books in the lists and there is no point for me to go ahead with such a punishment.

Things turned to the worst and the chairman is scribbling more items on the list and more conditions to meet.

I can’t read his handwriting and my friend tells me that we find the required professors to meet with in the directory.

And so my mind is boiling and I’m ready to go search for a gun to blow the balls of the suggested professors.

I forced myself to get out of this violent dream. Time to piss, get a can of beer and smoke a cigarette in order to cool down and hate my self for this lousy upbringing that didn’t bring me but shame and isolation.

I decide to note down my dream: I barely remember dreams.

I’m watching the channel ARTE: a documentary on the detente or conscious relaxation in these busy days at work.

I liked the method of hanging in closed multicolored hammocks, wrapped inside as an egg for 10 minutes.

I usually don’t feel that I slept if not accompanied with dreams, even if occasionally I slept 8 hours with no interruption.

Notes and tidbits posted on FB and Twitter. Part 149

Note: I take notes of books I read and comment on events and edit sentences that fit my style. I pay attention to researched documentaries and serious links I receive. The page is long and growing like crazy, and the sections I post contains a month-old events that are worth refreshing your memory.

Human factors design of products or services should alleviating the repetitive musculo-skeletal disorders by reducing efforts, vibration, and proper handling of tools and equipment, designing for proper postures, minimizing static positions.

A designer should keep in mind that any testing and evaluation study should factor in the condition that a worker or an employee is operating 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and for many years.

This Scapegoat tendency of Single Cause fallacy that alters the veracity of many studies and decisions.

Our problem is that we lack identity; we lack a sense of belonging not to a land, but rather to humanity. You became utterly convinced that you cannot change, and that seeing people die is part of life or of a bigger political game, a natural sacrifice for the fight of power and money.

Discredited certitude? Unregulated capitalism (liberal capitalism) is plainly discredited; communism was discredited way before 1989; the doctrine of the Christian religion was discredited since the French Revolution in 1787 ; Islam was discredited less than a century after the Prophet’s death,  but can religion be eradicated from the spirit of the masses?

History demonstrated that glorious periods in civilization around the world are usually focused in a country, a city, a university, or a center. And for a short time of peaceful coexistence.

Glorious periods are also focused on a hobby (a lifetime love affair) such as in architecture, painting, sculpting, music, literature, sciences, math, philosophy, singing, dancing, acting, movie, and so on.

There are calls to start filtering and controlling this mass of information on the net for untenable reasons that are meant to hide the real frightening reality that is weakening the hold of central powers and multinational institutions on the kinds of knowledge we should be learning.

Women can shatter males Autistic sexual perception of love…

Having “faith” is used by adolescents to shirk the effort of using their brain when faced with despair and the complex world of comprehending new realities. Thus, adolescents have always been susceptible to extreme positions and have been used as logs to burn in the incinerator of martyrdom.

Man has survived because he was too ignorant to know how to realize his wishes (desires). Now that he can realize his wishes, he must then either change them or perish“.

It has become so hard to behave as the usual Male after ISIS grabbed the flag of manhood

It was against the background of genocide in the name of “European civilization” that Africans in the Diaspora who had been shipped from Africa and enslaved in the West Indies and in the Americas realized that the solution to Africa’s people both at home and abroad was Pan-Africanism.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

February 2018
M T W T F S S
« Jan   Mar »
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728  

Blog Stats

  • 1,182,430 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.adonisbouh@gmail.com

Join 607 other followers

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: