Adonis Diaries

Archive for October 24th, 2018

Tidbits and notes posted on FB and Twitter. Part 250

Note: I take notes of books I read and comment on events and edit sentences that fit my style. I pay attention to researched documentaries and serious links I receive. The page of backlog opinions and events is long and growing like crazy, and the sections I post contains a month-old events that are worth refreshing your memory

Another night dream. We are 4 persons on that trip, including a female. In my mind, we are traveling in Morocco (I have never been to North Africa). We are to visit a village/city. After many hours in a transportation mean (can’r recall a car or a bus), out of nowhere, a white village appears on a hill. Very pretty from afar.

The 4 of us are walking, the couple ahead of us. The more we walk the further the white village turns out to be.  I says to my companion: “this village looks like my village, but this one is by the sea and ours is red tiled”.

I guess that I heard the village had a university and I can try to find a position and settle for a year. We enter a college in a single building: the students wear uniforms: white shirt, navy trousers and navy tie. Up and down an elevator. I ask my companion why we are here. He said that he is waiting for a contact.

I’m getting bored and decided to go out. I remembered that I don’t carry the national currency, but I will not buy anything: I am going to search for the couple. I stepped out the building and I’m in a closed hall with kiosks and small shops around and also in the middle.

I’m roaming around looking for the couple. And I realized that everything is Dirty: the walls, the floors and the shirts of people. We cannot smell in a dream, but the sight disgusted me hugely. Even the environment outside is a chaos of dirt and burned grass. I had to wake myself up. it is 5 am.

Another night dream. I got my PhD in industrial/Human factors engineering many decades ago. Still, I dream of unfinished dissertation, and can’t hope of ever getting out of my miseries. 

Another night dream. I got out of this hole of a university town many decades ago. Still, I dream of roaming its streets, night clubs, cafe and noticing that shops have changed their businesses, even the post office has been transformed into something else.

Another night dream. I last saw our apartment in Beirut 2 decades ago before we sold it. And yet, I’m roaming the street of our quarter, getting lost and watching grueling scenery, such as crumbling buildings where a few adolescents have repainted it with rainbow color and plenty of lighting. Kind of living in a castle, though the area didn’t suffer much damages from the 13-year civil war. My mind likes to play terrible tricks so that I wake up and went to piss.

Victorine Brocher (1839-1921) wrote in “Une femme dans la Commune de Paris 1871”: Je temoigne afin encore de rendre quelque services aux vaincus (les republicains)

Iran promised to retaliate to the deaths of 4 Iranians by Israeli missiles on T4 airfield in Homs, Syria. When, where and how are questions that are giving terrible nightmares to Israel cabinet and intelligence services.

When you are forced to live on a mountain or a desert environment, all alone, it is inevitable that a time will come when a God tells you in a vision: “Okay, now you may return home”

Consistently, Hezbollah is the only political and social organization in Lebanon that delivers on its promises and execute its decisions. These successes are based on constituting and establishing specialized working “cells” for each program before announcing the event.

Except Hezbollah, most other Lebanon “political parties” are Not social parties: they care less to connect and communicate with citizens. They are mostly attached to a militia/mafia “leader”, sort of romancing the “Glorious Past” of the civil war

Two ancient political parties are ideological (of the 20’s), but they failed to make a dent in Lebanon political structure in the last 70 years

Any potential deputies who is reluctant to back Hezbollah’s war on militias highway robbers of the State revenues “fassaad” is Not my candidate.

Al Tayyar (the party of the current President of the Republic Michel Aoun)is doing his best to deliver on promises, but has been burning steps and getting entangled in side shows. Their motto in this election is “Back the President of the Republic” (da3m al 3ahed) in order to side step the confusion in convincing voters.

The Tayyar is the only party that successfully ran 5 democratic elections within the party in the last 3 years

 

 

THE SCARIEST THING ABOUT INTROVERTS

Introverts drive extroverts crazy. Or should I say, extroverts drive introverts crazy?

“… 65% of senior corporate executives viewed introversion as a barrier to leadership…” (HBR)

The blank stare:

The scariest thing about an introvert is the blank stare that comes over their face when they’re thinking. It looks like displeasure, dislike, even disdain, to an extrovert.

Extroverts are noisy thinkers. They think while they talk. Introverts get quiet.

Introverts intimidate extroverts. It seems like they’re disinterested or resistant when they’re just thinking.

Tips for navigating introversion and extroversion:

  1. Be sensitive to a tendency to over-value extrovert leaders.
  2. Introversion and extroversion aren’t strengths and weaknesses. It’s who you are. (what that means?)
  3. Expect disciplined thought from introverts.
  4. Leverage the listening skills of introverts. Talk less and listen more if you’re an extrovert.
  5. Gather spontaneous ideas from extroverts.
  6. Give introverts time to think things over. A blank stare means they’re thinking.
  7. Extroverts enjoy public praise. Introverts often shun the limelight.

Suggestions for introverts:

I see different numbers for the ratio of introvert to extrovert. But extroverts tend to run the show.

  1. Give yourself recharge-time. Schedule and protect alone-time.
  2. Express your need to think. “Let me think that over. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
  3. Stretch your collaboration muscles. Avoid dropping final answers on unsuspecting victims.
  4. Beware of frustration and bitterness. People may disappoint you because YOU haven’t expressed what you want.

Introvert advantage:

In a dynamic, unpredictable environment, introverts are often more effective leaders – particularly when workers are proactive, offering ideas for improving the business.

Such behavior can make extroverted leaders feel threatened.

In contrast, introverted leaders tend to listen more carefully and show greater receptivity to suggestions, making them more effective leaders of vocal teams. (Adam Grant, Francesca Gino, David Hoffman)

What suggestions do you have for introverted leaders? extroverted leaders?

What dangers should introverts/extroverts be aware of, when it comes to their natural tendencies?

Note: the same cliche that I heard many times on extrovert and introvert, as if situations and conditions are not major factors in our current behaviors

 

3 SHIFTS THAT EXPAND INFLUENCE

The way you treat others is the chief culture building influence in your organization.

Lousy leaders act like individual contributors. Incompetent leaders can’t see the impact of their attitudes, words, and actions.

Newton said, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” (Was he being general to that extreme?)

The relationships you enjoy, for example, begin with you.

When you focus on weaknesses and ignore strengths, others build protective walls.

Adversarial leaders invite conflict.

Passive leaders create anxiety.

Teams don’t practice accountability until leaders follow-up and follow-through.

When you confront tough issues with kindness, others have tough conversations with greater confidence.

3 shifts that expand influence:

#1 Shift from who is right to what is right.

In one sense, leadership isn’t personal. The issue is the issue. It doesn’t matter who comes up with solutions. The person who screwed up last week might be this week’s genius.

#2. Shift from talking-at to talking-with.

Engagement requires “with.” The more you talk “at” the more you lose “with.” Talking-with requires humility, honesty, curiosity, openness, and forgiveness.

  1. Humility acknowledges the perspective and strengths of others.
  2. Honesty explains issues without hidden agendas.
  3. Curiosity asks, “What do you think?”
  4. Openness listens and explores. Defensiveness is the end of innovation.
  5. Forgiveness gives second chances after responsible failure. Honor sincere effort. Don’t punish ignorance.

#3. Shift from right and wrong to better.

Most issues are solved with progress. It’s about next steps, not moral imperatives. Stop judging so much. Start cheering more.

Complex issues have more than one answer. Their answer is better than yours, even if it’s not quite as good, because they own it.

Bonus: Shift from punishing to learning.

Treat responsible failure as a learning opportunity and risk is easier. But treat people like tools and you propagate self-serving attitudes.

Carol Dweck says the #1 quality of a growth mindset is learning from failure.

What shifts expand a leader’s influence?

What behaviors short-circuit a leader’s influence?


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

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