Adonis Diaries

Archive for November 30th, 2018

Here’s a question from a recent workshop participant. “How do you handle someone complaining about a co-worker?”

First, you want people to come to you. Some managers want challenges, problems, and people to go away. They hide in their offices, sneak to the elevator, or duck into the restroom to avoid facing tough conversations.

By Dan Rockwell?

Suggestions for dealing with co-worker complaints:

  1. Ask the complainer, “What can you do to solve this?” Some complainers want you to solve their problem. That’s a last resort. Savior-managers create irresponsible employees.
  2. The complainer may say, “I don’t know what I can do.” Say, “Why don’t you come back this afternoon with some ideas?”
  3. Develop a strategy to deal with the issue. If you can’t, try number four.
  4. Invite the person being complained about to a meeting to discuss the issue. You’ll be surprised that issues have several sides.
  5. Focus on issues and performance rather than personalities, unless personality is the problem.
  6. Take small steps in positive directions, don’t expect giant leaps. Identify observable behaviors. If you can’t see it, you can’t measure it.
  7. Follow up. “Let’s get together in two weeks to follow up.”

More suggestions:

  1. Withhold judgment.
  2. Never take sides.
  3. Clarify, is it personal or performance. It’s often personal.
  4. Warning, backstabbers are masters at seeming helpful while being destructive.

Bonus tip: When you bring the two parties together and one of them had no idea there was a problem, you’re dealing with a backstabber. Excuse the one who’s in the dark and deal with the real issue.

Most importantly: Deal with interpersonal tensions because relationships are worth it.

Read what Facebook contributors added: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop

You’re great at doing but are you great at connecting? I’m still blown away by Henry Mintzberg’s one word of advice, “Connect.”

Business stresses and people tensions result in unhappy, disengaged staff unless leaders model and encourage connecting. Meaningful relationships break the grip of distrust, disengagement, and fear.

Connecting with others is the secret to success in business and happiness in life.

Continue being great at getting the job done and add connecting to your leadership skills.

Great success: Great success requires great connecting. If you can succeed without out others you aren’t going very far.

You can’t lead people you don’t know and understand.

Connecting tips:

  1. Believe connecting is good for business, others, and you. You can’t fake it. Techniques without authenticity create fakers who aren’t trusted and often end tragically.
  2. Go to others; don’t wait for them to come to you. Leaders move first.
  3. Be fully present. Give the gift of yourself.
  4. Engage in small talk. Avoid being so focused on tasks that you ignore people.
  5. Give yourself first. Model the type of conversations you’re encouraging in the office.
  6. Acknowledge emotional states but avoid subtle put downs. “You seem happy today, what happened.” For example. You might privately say, “You’ve seemed down lately are you okay?”
  7. Listen with your eyes. If eye contact is uncomfortable focus on the forehead.
  8. Listen with your body. Relax your stance to avoid a, “I have to get going message.” Sit if you can.
  9. Show appreciation to everyone regardless of status.

Suggestions from Facebook contributors:

  1. Communicate the good and the bad.
  2. Put people first.
  3. Be yourself.
  4. Share without concern for the gain.
  5. Show compassion.
  6. Have empathy.

See the list of suggestions from Facebook contributors: Leadership Freak Coffee Shop.

How can leaders connect with colleagues, superiors, or subordinates?

 

ACTIVIST AND HERO HARRY LESLIE SMITH PASSES

harry leslie smith.jpg

World War II veteran and Labour activist Harry Leslie Smith standing with refugees

Veteran Labour activist Harry Leslie Smith has died aged 95.

Harry, who served in the Second World War and wrote movingly of the suffering and death of loved ones, friends and neighbours before the foundation of the NHS, campaigned not only for the protection of our health service but stood with refugees and against all the predations of Tory government on our vulnerable citizens.

Harry showed an energy that people half his age would have been proud of. He was in Canada when he died, after being hospitalised following a fall.

News of Harry’s illness sparked a worldwide surge of sympathy, solidarity and interest, with leading figures from many nations expressing hope for his recovery under the hashtag #IStandWithHarry.

harry uniform.png

Harry as a young man in his military uniform

Harry met his German wife Friede in the devastation of post-war Hamburg and his book about her and their experiences, Love Among the Ruins received huge acclaim.

Their son described her as ‘[Harry’s] true homeland’.

Episodes of his ‘Harry’s Last Stand‘ podcast can be downloaded from iTunesSoundCloud and other services.

The SKWAWKBOX sends sympathy and solidarity to his family. RIP.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

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