Adonis Diaries

Archive for December 23rd, 2019

Any alternatives for rings in wedding?

A line, not a ring, on my fourth finger

Ink on skin, oh what a beautiful invention! And how did I not discover it before?
Here, meet my first –and certainly not my last– tattoo, with so much intention in it…

A representation of my values around romantic relationships, a rebellion against the dated understanding of marriage, against the “captivity” mindset that marriage puts couples in.

A line, not a ring, on my fourth finger, means that I am with my partner because I’m choosing to be with them, everyday, and no piece of paper, costly ceremony, or social construct will choose that for me/for us.
With that mindset, and that conscious choice, the relationship becomes a place for personal growth and healing.

It’s my base-camp, my safe space, from where I can wander off, experiment, and discover, and if I stumble, and I do stumble a lot, I know I can always go back to that safe place and heal.

This first permanent line on my skin is also in the name of making mistakes… see, I played my adolescence quite safely, I didn’t make a lot of mistakes that teenagers make, the type of actions that you regret as an adult. It’s because I didn’t dare experiment or do things differently. I cared (still do) so much about what people think.

When asked, old people say that they regret the things they didn’t do a lot more than the things they actually did.
Even though I might love this minimalist line now, I will probably grow to dislike it, but I will be proud that I chose to do it anyway today.

In the name of experimenting, being authentic and true to myself, in the name of not caring what people think, and to making mistakes. In the name of strong relationships that we chose to be in everyday, relationships that enrich our lives and help us become better people.

To William, my partner in life, my best friend, and my family.
I would have never imagined that after 14 years I’d still be so passionately in love.
Our relationship has been a gift.

Hard at times for sure, and we still have a long way to go.

We’re gonna face a lot more roadblocks, and I have pure excitement for that, and for the improved selves we will become.

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adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

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