Adonis Diaries

Archive for February 15th, 2020

12 Reasons Why You’re Still Single In Lebanon

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we can’t help but wonder why we’re still single. Is it us? Is it them? Guess we’ll never know, but here are some probable reasons:

1. You don’t trust easily

Which makes sense, considering you’ve been lied to by the same politicians for over 30 years.

2. You also have daddy issues

Courtesy of bay el kel

3. You can’t afford to be in a relationship

Your cards won’t work, you can barely withdraw cash, (restricted by banks for $300 a month, if you have a good account) and everything is 10x more expensive. (Actually, the currency is effectively 30% devalued and prices jumped 40%)

4. You’re a commitment phobe

You’re terrified of getting attached to someone you’ll never marry because weddings are freakishly expensive and banks no longer give out house loans.

5. You just can’t get over your EX

And you remember them with every garbage pile you spot on every corner.

6. The love of your life ended up leaving the country for good

And they cut off all contact with you because they don’t want anything tying them to their traumatic past in the country..

7. Your Tinder dates have been an epic fail

Everyone’s trying way too hard. Relax, we’re all dollar-deprived.

8. You just can’t put your political differences aside

And you refuse to date anyone who doesn’t believe that kellon ya3ne kellon. (Admitting that every politician in the last 30 years is a rotten highway robber)

9. Anyone you’re interested in lives on the other side of the Ring Bridge

And you never know if you’ll see them with all the road closures. (The Ring is the bridge between West and East Beirut during the civil war. Hundreds were targeted by snipers)

10. You thought you met your soulmate, but…

They told you they blame the #thawra (Revolution, upheaval) for the current economic collapse.

11. You refuse to settle for less

And by less I mean marrying your second cousin, as suggested by your grandmother – bless her soul.

12. The people you fancy have already dated someone you know

Cons of living in a tiny ass country where everyone knows/dates everyone.

Note: Out of sheer laziness in the mind, we love to generalize on everything and everyone.

What is the budget and expenses of this worthless Lebanese Parliament?




February 2020

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