Adonis Diaries

Redundant. Redundant at all stages of life. Still hoping for a breakthrough?

Posted on: May 21, 2020

Redundant. Redundant at all stages of life. Still hoping for breakthrough?

You join people at an event and you are not noticed, invisible, no one even that mean to ask you a question.

Those who “knows” you, know that you never talk, participate in the conversation or even ask a question.

When young, my parents never sat with me or my sibling in a one on one conversation. I was Not to join the invited people and listen to their conversation.

Actually, my parents were “stranger” to me when I was dispatched to a boarding school at age 5. My brother and sister were even much younger when they were sent home to save them from Africa diseases.

They paid me visit, one summer out of two, since they were working hard in Africa to eek out a living, in towns lacking of everything, even electricity.

The most memorable moment I heard this word Redundant was from an elder British person working at headquarter as the official letter writer to the company. Sort of only educated elder British colonial figures can deliver obtuse and confusing letters to suppliers…

I was hovering around in the maintenance shop at the headquarter in Warri, Nigeria, and waiting for my airplane ticket to be ready and receive the order to leave. That was in 1980.

This British “official” saw me, smiled and threw at me: “Are you redundant?”. He was expecting of me to be totally flabbergasted at this unusually “difficult” expression and he resumed: “Do you understand what redundant means”? I felt this urgent retort back at him: “What about you? Do you feel pretty redundant these days”?

This British person behaving as a remnant of the colonial era was Not that bad. He had a library in his home and I borrowed a few English books from him to fill my time, 6 months prior to this date. You don’t find people enjoying reading after a day work. Do you?

Yes, I was mostly a very quiet person and didn’t participate in any discussion for over 50 years.

In my youth, I was the forgotten person that they recalled existed and they needed to fill the bus for a trip. We had many trips in summertime. People sang, laughed, danced, cracked jokes… and I kind of felt aloof, having no talent in any of these “entertaining” skills.

Ten years ago, I decided to be funny and entertain the gathering by describing my “redundant situations” in life.

People found me hilarious, on the basis that deep down I am explaining their emotional condition, mainly that everyone knows that he is redundant.

Cracking jokes at my expense. And that is the initial stage before you earn your badge of honor of speaking frankly on the other people redundant life.

Let me be clear: almost all of my life I felt disoriented and trying hard to get me a “talent” in anything to be “hirable”. Vast general knowledge in almost every subject matter was Not a negotiable subject in any productive job.

No surprises that jobs are mostly boring and your work acquaintances are Not used to share but their boredom and redundancy expressions.

You realize that you do have a quick mind, if you decide to talk about your limitations, limitations shared by most and wanting to be reminded of them and laughing at them.

Note: I say: If a quote with the proper context matches your state of mind at a period run with it. Feeling obligated to refer to “who said what he said” is Not only redundant but dangerous in spreading “religious concepts” that are hidden within the quote.

If there is a Creator (or a bunch of them) for this entire Universe and all the species, your personal existence should Not mean much to Him. If there is No creator, you have wasted your life on an abstract concept that brought death and destruction for the living.

 

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adonis49

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