Adonis Diaries

Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Lebanon militia/mafia “leaders” are asking nothing: Just sustain the status quo, please

It is the sectarian political structure of 18 officially recognized religious sects that prevent Lebanon from creating a secular State and undergo serious reforms at all levels in its institutions, economy and finance.

لا بدكن تعملوا دولة متل الخلق

ولا بدكن توقفوا السرقة
ولا بدكن تدفعوا ضرايب
ولا بدكن توقفوا إقطاع

ولا بدكن تسحبوا الغطا عن اللي عم يسرق وينهب ويفسد
ولا بدكن تحترموا شريك الوطن
ولا بدكن دولة مدنية

ولا بدكن انتخابات رئاسية من الشعب
ولا بدكن قانون انتخابي عادل
ولا بدكن تطبقوا الطائف

ولا بدكن لامركزية ادارية
ولا بدكن كونفدرالية
ولا بدكن فدرالية

ولا بدكن تعطوا الرئاسة صلاحيات
ولا بدكن……..

طيب شو المطلوب؟
تضلوا أسياد ونبقى عبيد وأهل ذمة؟

ما بتزبط الكل ياخد حقوقو ويدفع واجباتو؟
ما بتزبط الكل يحترم حالو ويحترم غيرو؟

ما بتزبط ما يكون في إقطاع وسرقة ونهب وفساد؟
ما بتزبط الكل يكون متساوي قدام القانون؟

ما بتزبط يكون في لا مركزية ادارية؟
ما بتزبط يكون في انماء متوازن؟

ما بتزبط شعبنا يطلع من الكذب والنفاق؟
ما بتزبط نروح عالدولة المدنية؟
ما بتزبط……. (اللايحة طويلة… بس زهقت انا وفقّس)

وهيي لو بتزبط… مش بحاجة ت نغير ولا نظام
عنا قوانين ممتازة بس العبرة بالتنفيذ

#لن_نيأس
#لن_نحبط

“Trust me. Tomorrow will be much better”: the motto of every government in Lebanon

Trust me

The government: “I know I cheated on you on all the line, I know you know that I cheated on you, but I won’t do it, after everything that’s happened. You can really trust me.

Yes, I know I wasted the money (loans) I got in Paris 1, Paris 2 and Paris 3 and distributed to the militia/mafia leaders coffers to maintain our civil war cease fire… (where we had no victors, but wasted 100,000 killed and twice that number in injured citizens and a million of displaced to other sectarian contons)

I know that it is you, the poorer taxpayers, who maintained this expensive, archaic and sectarian system, but today it’s so different.

Trust me.

Starting tomorrow morning everything will change.

I’m going to cut spending to limit state needs and eliminate the deficit in a period of not more than five years, really, I know I shouldn’t have adopted the wage grid without reforming the administration, but all this is from the past, a folded page.

This wage grid was adopted before the elections, and I didn’t know that the officials recruited employees without jobs in the public institutions without my knowledge, an increase that doesn’t match with our economic/financial capabilities

And we rigged the elections and manipulated the system, just like the budget numbers, but that won’t happen again.

I’m sorry for this little mistake, but starting tomorrow it won’t happen again.

I’ve changed, honestly, I’ve really changed, at least I want to, I really want to…

I promise to…

Can you give me the money promised at the Cedars Conference so that I can act on changing my behavior and deliver on my promises?

All I need is a miser $4 billion dollars, out of the $230 bn we have already totally wasted and vanished…

Banks will finance the balance.

This will allow them to convert state debt recognition into real rights over its skinned heritage.

As a loan guarantee, I would guarantee the actions of companies specially designed to work in the strategic areas. You will be able to sell the shares received as guarantee, in loan refund.

Honestly I changed, I behaved wrong and I’m so sorry.

I’m going to get slim on state resources, such as electricity, waste treatment, telecom, port, airport, cannabis and gas and oil production, but it’s in the name of equality in despoliation and the sharing of public resources.

But after that, I will, as I promised, before Thursday afternoon, in three weeks, I will become a completely new person and everything will be different and I will attract and retain the best candidates in the institutions of the State.

True, the last nominations were not a model of transparency and meritocracy, but it was in the name of brotherhood among the mafia Capones

I’m sorry, but this won’t happen again trust me. In a blink of the eye, I’m going to be a new person and I’m going to fight nepotism, law passes, and conflicts of interest in the state,

It’s very important to Trust me: there is No stable currency without trust.

We can’t keep living without trust, you agree, right?

I would, I really want to… I promise to… can you advance me the $11 billion promised to CEDAR, that would, I think, be enough to cover the balance of payment deficit and rebuild foreign reserves

This misery amount would prevent the State to sink into chaos.

You understand, chaos is not pleasant, it’s not only the escape of capital, but also that of men, and it would be a shame to add new migrants to the older years migrants.

This time I’m not going to turn away or waste money, it won’t happen again, you can trust me, I’m going to change and everything is going to be totally different next year.

I’m going to start the structural reforms that relate to the structure of the state, a most important move to change our highway robber behavior

And don’t tell me you’re going to ask to control how this money is going to be used, I can’t accept that in the name of national sovereignty…

What, weapons out of state ? Is this also a violation of sovereignty?

I would like… Next term… I promise… Trust me…

Redundant. Redundant at all stages of life. Still hoping for breakthrough?

You join people at an event and you are not noticed, invisible, no one even that mean to ask you a question.

Those who “knows” you, know that you never talk, participate in the conversation or even ask a question.

When young, my parents never sat with me or my sibling in a one on one conversation. I was Not to join the invited people and listen to their conversation.

Actually, my parents were “stranger” to me when I was dispatched to a boarding school at age 5. My brother and sister were even much younger when they were sent home to save them from Africa diseases.

They paid me visit, one summer out of two, since they were working hard in Africa to eek out a living, in towns lacking of everything, even electricity.

The most memorable moment I heard this word Redundant was from an elder British person working at headquarter as the official letter writer to the company. Sort of only educated elder British colonial figures can deliver obtuse and confusing letters to suppliers…

I was hovering around in the maintenance shop at the headquarter in Warri, Nigeria, and waiting for my airplane ticket to be ready and receive the order to leave. That was in 1980.

This British “official” saw me, smiled and threw at me: “Are you redundant?”. He was expecting of me to be totally flabbergasted at this unusually “difficult” expression and he resumed: “Do you understand what redundant means”? I felt this urgent retort back at him: “What about you? Do you feel pretty redundant these days”?

This British person behaving as a remnant of the colonial era was Not that bad. He had a library in his home and I borrowed a few English books from him to fill my time, 6 months prior to this date. You don’t find people enjoying reading after a day work. Do you?

Yes, I was mostly a very quiet person and didn’t participate in any discussion for over 50 years.

In my youth, I was the forgotten person that they recalled existed and they needed to fill the bus for a trip. We had many trips in summertime. People sang, laughed, danced, cracked jokes… and I kind of felt aloof, having no talent in any of these “entertaining” skills.

Ten years ago, I decided to be funny and entertain the gathering by describing my “redundant situations” in life.

People found me hilarious, on the basis that deep down I am explaining their emotional condition, mainly that everyone knows that he is redundant.

Cracking jokes at my expense. And that is the initial stage before you earn your badge of honor of speaking frankly on the other people redundant life.

Let me be clear: almost all of my life I felt disoriented and trying hard to get me a “talent” in anything to be “hirable”. Vast general knowledge in almost every subject matter was Not a negotiable subject in any productive job.

No surprises that jobs are mostly boring and your work acquaintances are Not used to share but their boredom and redundancy expressions.

You realize that you do have a quick mind, if you decide to talk about your limitations, limitations shared by most and wanting to be reminded of them and laughing at them.

Note: I say: If a quote with the proper context matches your state of mind at a period run with it. Feeling obligated to refer to “who said what he said” is Not only redundant but dangerous in spreading “religious concepts” that are hidden within the quote.

If there is a Creator (or a bunch of them) for this entire Universe and all the species, your personal existence should Not mean much to Him. If there is No creator, you have wasted your life on an abstract concept that brought death and destruction for the living.

 

And what is this virtual wealth that Lebanese enjoyed? Didn’t think Lebanon has any of these multinational financial “Moral Entity”

And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing?

Since 1993, and during late Rafic Hariri PM, Lebanon virtual wealth was built on selling debts that nourish real estate and government bonds bubbles, in the name of maintaining the peg in a failed state, and end up in the pockets of the political and financial elite under a veil of bank secrecy.

Lebanon was promoted as a Prime Real Estates to be looted, seashore and entire mountain tops sold for cheap.

Open air, open investment on public facilities and infrastructures. What happened in Russia during this infamous Yeltsin.

Lebanon was to emulate the economy in Dubai and investment was to pour in from Saudi Kingdom and the Gulf States.

Downtown Beirut were structured under a company called Solidere for 30 years, and renewed unlawfully for the Hariri clan.

And the government and Parliament received loans to be distributed to the militia/mafia leaders. Everyone of these leaders were reserved a war treasure coffer. A small part was for the leaders to “invest” in their electoral communities and assign their members in the government institutions.

Suddenly we woke up and realized that this was an illusion….

They are trying to unite?

After dozens of years of virtual wealth, the Lebanese people are rocking irreversibly into real poverty.
And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing? They are trying to unite.

After dreaming of leaving our children a better life, we can only promise them an existential regression, like that of thousands of young Iranian (initiatives), gifted, over-educated, broken dreams, whose only horizon is a career Taxi driver or home help.


And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing? They are trying to unite.
In the face of the insecurity of the times we live, people’s savings have been eliminated in return for the cancellation of public debt, with impunity, irresponsibility of those responsible for disaster and increasing inequality.


And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing? They are trying to unite.
In the face of the delegation of the International Monetary Fund, a divided, inconsistent team with divergent ideas, and conflicting diaries, which promises the failure of negotiations even before they begin.


And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing? They are trying to unite.
After years of collusion between double violence of money and that of weapons, we are fighting in the context of double violence, the lack of money and the omnipresence of weapons, which strengthens our failed state status to hold a monopoly on legal violence or to define and protect its borders.


And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing? They are trying to unite.
And then what? Without external financing, self-financing. Money flawed, stolen, corrupt, transfer abroad in an immoral way, will buy everything, public goods and private goods, and the return to normal will raise the wall between those who rule and the ruled, whose existence is likely to settle properly in misery.


And what are the hundreds of civil society groups doing? They are trying to unite.
If the lack of sovereignty, lack of future, promised poverty, existential regression, impunity, inequality, the despoliation of private saving and public resources have so far failed to unite the groups of civil society, it’s that there’s a problem somewhere.

Wrong interpretations for the living: Meaning of Nirvana and Samsara

Note: Re-edit of “Nirvana or Samsara: Wrong interpretations to living? September 27, 2010

In the Sanskrit language nirvana means a state of bliss or grace while samsara is a life of toiling and worries.

In the Arabic language (most probably a slang in the Aramaic language, and origin of the Sanskrit), samsara conveys the meaning of bargaining or negotiation

You may think of a middleman going back and forth with new proposals for the two parties to reach an agreement.

Maybe the Arabic language borrowed the term samsara from Sanskrit and gave it a practical meaning for their trading activities.

Is it not samsara our real life?

As we struggle to balance better internal spiritual state and better external conditions for our comfort and pleasure?

There is this Buddhist saying: “If you make a difference between nirvana and samsara then, you will remain in the samsara state“.

This saying means that there is No difference between nirvana and samsara.

But the second part of the sentence gives the connotation that samsara is actually a lower quality state of living.

It is common in languages to create opposite meaning to every word for rhetorical reason.  People tend to learn and assimilate the negative terminologies far better than the positive counterpart.

So what is good in a nirvana state or the highest quality of living?

Is a living liberated of wants, anguish, suffering, fear of death, and of illusions… better than striving, struggling for what you desire, and confronting difficulties?

Is keeping a state of bliss (salvation) worth total dissociation from the turmoil of living and avoiding potentially difficult situations (in order to retain the state of bliss)?

What is wrong with bargaining (tradeoff) endeavors for a better life?

Is living a state of grace and bliss a better state than struggling and challenging our potentials?

I can back the idea of training for more frequent and more durable moments of complete relaxation of the mind and body; but to staying in a nirvana state feels counterproductive to a rich and challenging life.

Maybe nirvana is not after all a long stay in a state of bliss or life after death could be the equivalent  meaning. Anyway, people are curious of the mysterious and exotic experiences and will try hard for a nirvana stage of relaxation.

Am I living to satisfying the never-ending moral constraints of “don’t do that?”

Am I a machine to figuring out what I can do?

If there is a kind of nobility abiding by social moral set of values then, am I not to be a happy nobleman too?

Actually, abiding by morale is a necessity when abiding by the ethics (that the ultimate virtue is learning to share the happiness of others) comes to be difficult to realizing.

If we were able during our tumultuous life to sharing and enjoying the pleasure and happiness of others then, there will be no need for any moral set of restrictions.

We are not told of that wisdom, or not that frequently, or it was never transpired to us by members of our family and community.

The community found it easier to nurture us by “don’t do that” instead of performing what is the secret of joy and happiness:  Mainly, learning to share and enjoy the pleasure and happiness of others:  That is the real meaning of solidarity.

Have you made it a habit distinguishing between hell and paradise? Between eternity and duration? Between the absolute and the relative? Between salvation and damnation? Between bliss and living in miseries?  What!

Are you trying to sound a sane person who can discriminate among good and bad tastes; true and false behaviors and sacrificing your life to pleasing others?

For how long are you intending to work on comprehending these differences?

All you need is awareness that infinity and eternity go hand in hand:  Everything is or converges to the present moment.

As long as you are making a difference between blissful moments and your current difficult moments then, you will never discover bliss.

Your life is the bliss, the grace, and paradise.

Cut down on your pains and suffering.

The time you saved in cutting down on unwanted conditions, then you need to invest it to appreciating and enjoying the power of the present moment.

The present moment is the real, the truth, and the eternal. 

All the opposite extremes are one in the present moment.

Note:  You are encouraged to read the follow-up article https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2010/09/25/second-truth-the-moment-is-eternal/

Covid-19 slang: Lockdown lingo

HILARIOUS. Thanks for sharing Abïr.

Lockdown lingo – are you fully conversant with the new terminology?

*Coronacoaster*
The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional corona coaster”.

*Quarantinis*
Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “lock-tail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.

*Le Creuset wrist*
It’s the new “avocado hand” – an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.

*Coronials*
As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.

*Furlough Merlot*
Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.

*Coronadose*
An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.

*The elephant in the Zoom*
The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

*Quentin Quarantino*
An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

*Covidiot* or *Wuhan-ker*
One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.

*Goutbreak*
The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.

*Antisocial distancing*
Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.

*Coughin’ dodger*
Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.

*Mask-ara*
Extra make-up applied to “make one’s eyes pop” before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.

*Covid-10*
The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve.

Source: Unknown.

Just for boasting (Kanfashi wa bass)? Is that all Lebanese “nouveau riche” was up to?

Un paon (tawouss) spreading his feathers for show and nothing substantial to back it up?

Even his feather are artificial and designed by incompetent and extra expensive art designer, and many of those designers ended up Not paid when the “fund” (borrowed from a bank) dried up

The Lebanese was willing to back any za3im (militia/mafia sectarian “leader” in order to build an Non necessary large villa, preferably on a hilltop and Not surrounded by any neighbor, and Not able to maintain it from his fixed income.

This inconsequential Lebanese needed to buy the latest iPhone, car, luxury items, throw the largest and most expensive wedding to his kids… As if people had no idea who he was, what is his real job, how he managed to come to this temporary wealth that cannot be sustained…

I know that most Lebanese have been living from their inheritance for many decades now, and most of our assets have been depleted and sold to the new returning “Real Estates” developers, freshly arriving from Saudi Kingdom, Dubai, Imarat, Africa…

Those earlier generations who travelled to the harshest of countries to eek out a living and starting from the little they had and made it with their stubborn work… are no longer here to give the example and guide and prod.

Those “Key vote persons” in a locality just wait for any kind of election to boast (rakkez tarboush) that they have a number of voting power in the locality and wait to the last hour of the closing booths to see where the wind is going, which candidate is willing to pay higher… and raise their price to sell their “voters slaves” (brothers, sisters, grandparents, eligible sons and daughters, extended family members…)

I feel so comfortable and glad with my confinement because of Covid-19: all those busy asses are also confined and running out of ideas how to keep showing off and driving their latest speed cars.

I don’t believe this extended confinement has changed the behavior of those self appointed “bourgeois”: Give them a free green light and they get back to their previous routines.

منقولة

ما في شعب بالعالم بيسكن بشقة 250 متر
و بيعمل نصها صالون كبير و سفرة ومطبخ امريكي

مفتوح مشان لما يجي عندن ضيوف يقولوا والله بيتهن مرتب و حلو .
ما في شعب بيوم عرسه بيدفع راتب 4 سنين مشان يقولوا عليه قد المقام و عيلتو بتبيض الوجه..
نحنا كلنا عايشين غلط باختلاف طبقاتنا و إمكانياتنا المادية !..

من عند الشخص اللي ماسك آيفون 11 وراتبه على قده ، لعند الام اللي بتشتكي غلاء سعر الخضرة وهي بترمي نصها بالزبالة آخر النهار !
نكون صريحين

نحنا مش فقراء .. نحنا أغبياء
نحنا شعب تعبان تدبيرياَ..

للأسف مستهلك وغير منتج بالمرة
نحنا شعب بحب التفنيص وبيعشق المظاهر
(mrakkaz al tarboush)

بنشتغل بوظائف ما منحبها ومن خارج اختصاصنا مشان نشتري أشياء ما بنحتاجها مشان نثير اهتمام أشخاص بنكرهن !!.. تخيلوا..

اليوم من اول هزه صغيرة.. الكل بصيح وبيشكي.

كورونا و مصروف كورونا كان درس النا كلنا
لنصحى ع حالنا..

طلع فينا نقعد بالبيت ايام طويلة بدون ما نطلع نتسوق و نصرف..

وطلع فينا نتزوج بدون حفلة وصالات و معازيم..
وفينا وفينا وفينا.

والحياة سهلة اذا تخلينا
عن التفكير بكلام الناس وشو بدو يرضى الناس..
وفينا نسلم بدون تبويس و أحضان .. .

البخل شي بشع وانا ماعم قلكون كونوا بخلاء
بس ياريت نخفف مظاهر بلا طعمة..

كل التلفونات بتقول الو.. مش ضروري نبيع الكلية
ونرهن الكنبايات لنشتري تلفون ما فيو اي فرق عن اللي معنا..
لازم نغير كل أسلوب حياتنا ونعيش على قدنا.

#منقول


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

May 2020
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