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No hugging: are we living through a crisis of touch?

Touch is the first sense humans develop in the womb, possessed even of 1.5cm embryos.

Strokes and hugs are being edged out of our lives, with doctors, teachers and colleagues increasingly hesitant about social touching.

Is this western Evangelical hyper-vigilance of boundaries beginning to harm our mental health?

Illustration by Harriet Lee-Merrion
 Illustration by Harriet Lee-Merrion

When did you last touch someone outside your family or intimate relationship? I don’t mean a brush of the fingers when you took your parcel from the delivery guy. I mean: when did you pat the arm or back of a stranger, colleague or friend?

My own touch diary says that I have touched five people to whom I’m not related in the past seven days. One was a newborn and two were accidental (that was the delivery guy).

Touch is the first sense humans develop in the womb, possessed even of 1.5cm embryos.

But somewhere in adulthood what was instinctive to us as children has come to feel awkward, out of bounds.

In countless ways social touch is being nudged from our lives.

In the UK, doctors were warned last month to avoid comforting patients with hugs lest they provoke legal action, and a government report found that foster carers were frightened to hug children in their care for the same reason.

In the US the Girl Scouts caused a furore last December when it admonished parents for telling their daughters to hug relatives because “she doesn’t owe anyone a hug”.

Teachers hesitate to touch pupils. And in the UK, in a loneliness epidemic, half a million older people go at least five days a week without seeing or touching a soul.

Sensing this deficit, a touch industry is burgeoning in Europe, Australia and the US, where professional cuddlers operate workshops, parties and one-to-one sessions to soothe the touch-deprived.

At Cuddle Up To Me, a cuddle “retail centre” in Portland, Oregon, clients browse a 72-cuddle menu. Poses includes the Alligator, the Mamma Bear and, less appealingly, the Tarantino. In Japan, a “Tranquility chair” has been developed, its soft arms wrapping the sitter in a floppy embrace.

Is this what a crisis of touch looks like? And if so, what do humans risk losing, when we lose touch?

“Of course we are moving away from touch!” exclaims Francis McGlone, a professor in neuroscience at Liverpool John Moores university and a leader in the field of affective touch. He is worried. “We have demonised touch to a level at which it sparks off hysterical responses, it sparks off legislative processes, and this lack of touch is not good for mental health.” He has heard of teachers asking children to stick on a plaster themselves, rather than touch them and risk a complaint. “We seem to have been creating a touch-averse world,” he says. “It’s time to recover the social power of touch.”

Touch is commonly thought of as a single sense, but it is much more complex than that. Some nerve endings recognise itch, others vibration, pain, pressure and texture. And one exists solely to recognise a gentle stroking touch.

Known as c tactile afferents, this last is the one that McGlone has studied for years. To find it, a needle is inserted into the skin to “fish”. “It’s like sitting on the banks of the river,” McGlone says. “One’s a pain fish. One’s an itch fish.” Hours can pass before anyone catches a gentle touch nerve, but this elusive fibre has helped to teach scientists why humans need touch.

By watching the nerve’s discharge behaviour while the skin is stroked, scientists have learned that the optimum speed of a human caress is 3cm to 5cm a second.

This may sound like a diverting snippet of touch trivia, but its application is far-reaching. When a parent strokes a child, for instance, “they are writing out the script that was laid down by 30 million years of evolution,” McGlone says. “We are destined to cuddle and stroke each other at predetermined velocities.” The pleasantness encourages us to keep touching, nourishes babies and binds adults, and threads wellbeing into the fabric of our being. It could also teach us more about the touch-averse, including how and when autism and eating disorders develop, and even lead us to a cure for loneliness.

Last year, researchers from University College London showed that slow, gentle stroking by a stranger reduced feelings of social exclusion.

“Bang on!” McGlone says. “This nerve fibre is responsible for so many aspects of our wellbeing across our lifespan. I call it the Higgs boson of the social brain. The missing particle that glues everything social together.” Ironically, having been brought up in the 50s, when parental affection was thought to encourage mawkish children, he is himself sensitive to touch, and feels a gentle stroke “like an electric shock”.

As a society, we instinctively understand the power of touch. That is why, after the tragic shooting at his school, the head of Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Florida promised “to hug each and every one” of his 3,300 students. A single, small touch can change countless lives. Princess Diana knew this when she held the hand of an Aids patient in 1987. So did Barack Obama when he stooped to let a young black boy pat his hair, so that he could feel his own potential in the palm of his hand.

Tiffany Field founded the Touch Research Institute at Miami Medical School to study this neglected sense and its impact on health. She enjoys a weekly massage and happily lists the positive effects of being touched. “We know from the science of what goes on under the skin that when the skin is moved, pressure receptors are stimulated,” she says. This “slows down heart rate, blood pressure and the release of cortisol”, which gives people better control over their stress hormones.

Being touched increases the number of natural killer cells, “the frontline of the immune system. Serotonin increases. That’s the body’s natural antidepressant. It enables deeper sleep,” Field says. Her appraisal is borne out by the experience of Kira “Cuddles” from Cuddle Up To Me in Portland, who has to remind her clients to check for phone, keys, wallet. “They leave with a dose of oxytocin. They are floating on a cloud.”

Most basically of all, touch tells us who we are. That is why in the womb, McGlone says, “with the amniotic fluid washing over it, the brain inside begins to realise, ‘I’ve got my body, and that’s somebody else’s.’ That developing brain has that sense of me rather than something else out there. If that doesn’t happen, you get this almost locked-in syndrome.”

Mary Carlson is 78. She worked as a student assistant with the legendary scientist Harry Harlow, whose experiments with monkeys found that the hankering for touch is so innate that an infant, removed from its mother, would cling to a cloth-covered wire surrogate rather than a cold wire one with milk. It would choose to feel nourished rather than be nourished.

Carlson met Harlow as a freshman. At the first lecture she attended, “he came out hooting and running around on all fours”. In his laboratory, she witnessed monkeys that as infants had been deprived of their mother’s touch. In social groups, they would “go off in a corner, self-grasping, staring into space.” She saw similar patterns of behaviour in humans three decades later when she visited orphanages in Romania, a legacy of Ceausescu’s regime, where tens of thousands of infants were raised with minimal human touch.

For Carlson, touch is “a sort of species recognition”. Which suggests that without touch, humans may be, well, less human.

“You just don’t see people touching each other these days,” Field complains. She has just come from a restaurant. “And everybody was on their cellphones.” At LaGuardia airport recently, she walked around the waiting area. “Not a soul was touching another. Even two-year-olds were sitting in carriages with iPads on their laps.” (Getting touch from their touch screens.) Then, at the Coconut Grove art festival, “There were people bumping into each other because it was so packed. I heard people say, ‘I’m sorry! Excuse me!’ and move off in a way that made it look like they were really embarrassed.”

Field is planning studies in restaurants and airports “to document how little touch there is and how much distraction by social media”. There is as yet no scientific data to connect declining touch to the rise of mobile technology or social media, but Field’s descriptions of people wrapped in their own worlds rather than each other, sitting in isolation, bowed over screens, a huddle unto themselves, are evocative and familiar.

Do those atomised people who bounce off each other at art fairs before spinning away in shame, or those who sit day after day alone in their homes carry shades of Harlow’s monkeys self-soothing in the corner of their cages? And if so, where will our loss of touch lead us?

Kellie Payne, research and policy manager at the Campaign to End Loneliness, says that loneliness is fatal precisely because it puts people “into a kind of defensive state where the levels of cortisol are raised. Having had negative experiences, they anticipate that their connection with people will also be negative,” which makes it hard to reinstate contact. To add to the challenge for the elderly, touch sensation is in decline. According to David J Linden, author of Touch: The Science of Hand, Heart and Mind, “Humans have their strongest touch sensation at around 20, after which it goes down by a percent a year for your whole life”.

Field, meanwhile, is worried about the rise in paediatric pain syndromes, such as irritable bowel syndrome and fibromyalgia, previously common only in adults. She thinks this is due to stress and the absence of touch, and is also worried that “kids are getting more and more aggressive because there is less and less touch”.

“This is what I’m concerned about,” McGlone says. “If this evolutionary system is in any way disturbed or interrupted, brains are good at finding compensation. It could be drugs or alcohol … If you remove a reward system, the brain will try to find some other way to get that reward.”

Humans love touch. We love it so much that the word has the power to sell a heap of products from soft-touch pillows to velvet touch tights, expert touch saucepans and even smooth, perfecting touch face creams. But touching each other in an age of pervasive and historical sexual abuse and harassment no longer feels safe.

There is a hypervigilance of boundaries that makes it hard to find the right approach. “I think twice about hugging a colleague at work in a way that I didn’t a couple of years ago,” Linden says. “I’m thinking, maybe this is going to be misinterpreted. Maybe this is going to make somebody feel bad.”

Touch – even the gentlest kind processed by McGlone’s beloved c tactile afferents – is never only about affection, warmth and care, but also about power. (Just watch Donald Trump greet world leaders.) The so-called “Midas touch” studies which have shown that diners gently touched on the arm by their server will leave a generous tip, or that people in a care home eat more if touched, illustrate the power of touch to persuade. Touch can retract – as well as confer – agency. It is not a universal good. It can exacerbate the symptoms of those with autism, and those who have experienced trauma or abuse.

At her home in north London, I meet Anna Fortes Mayer, who has run Cuddle Workshop since 2010. We sit on her red sofa and talk about how to broach touch. She is not tactile, but then we are strangers and her sofa is large.

I tell her about my touch diary: by now my yoga teacher has patted me and I’ve collected a matchday hug from my daughter’s football coach. “It’s not much. It’s really not,” Fortes Mayer says, shaking her head. But what’s a person to do? How can we build more touch into our lives?

For a start, Fortes Mayer advises against “energetically leaning forward for a hug”. She dislikes the phrases “Do you want a hug?”, “Give us a hug” and “Can I have a hug?”; they are “all too, ‘Who takes ownership here?’” (This is the mistake Kesha made with Jerry Seinfeld.) She suggests instead, “Would you like to share a hug?”

Encouraging self-consciousness of the ways in which people offer and invite touch has many benefits. But this kind of touch can never be impulsive, immediate, if it comes with explanatory notes. And touch that breaks protocol can feel more affecting. Consider the excitement when Meghan Markle preferred a hug to a handshake, or Michelle Obama slipped an arm around the Queen’s back. Even McGlone, despite that 1950s upbringing, on a walk through the park, was tickled to see a “big rugby player type bloke” offer his wife and then him a hug. (He was so touched, he started to explain about c tactile afferents.)

In Fortes Mayer’s hall, I put my shoes back on and with my hands at my sides ask, “Anna, would you like to share a hug?” She says yes – and it feels good.

“I will often place my hand on someone’s shoulder,” Carlson says. “I believe in touch. There are ways you can do it so it isn’t demeaning.”

“Even stranger touch, when it’s wanted, is pretty good,” Linden points out. “Even petting your dog. Even petting a dog that’s not yours.” For the truly solitary, daily power walking stimulates pressure points. It’s what Tiffany Field does. She also advocates yoga: “It’s moving your limbs against each other.”

Of course, nobody thinks that a cure for loneliness will happen at a stroke, but maybe careful touch could bring it closer.


Notes and tidbits posted on FB and Twitter. Part 165

Note: I take notes of books I read and comment on events and edit sentences that fit my style. I pa attention to researched documentaries and serious links I receive. The page is long and growing like crazy, and the sections I post contains a month-old events that are worth refreshing your memory.

Another surprise is that when it comes to purchasing course materials and answering old questions in assignments, many succeed in locating previous students who took the course. They never attempted to get an idea of the course before registering.

I have tried many teaching styles, revised several times the contents and arrangements of the course chapters, and experimented with various methods to encourage the students into reading the course materials on their own volition. Nothing worked. A few diligent students were my teaching rewards.

I varied the number of quizzes, exams, assignments and lab projects, tried to encourage my university students to read research articles, investigated new presentation techniques, gave them hints on how best to read and assimilate the materials, emphasized on thinking like engineers and not memorize information, and I even assigned students to read to class:  I received basically the same observations, no matter how I change the course. A few diligent students (2 to be precise) were my teaching rewards.

Many university students don’t bring any paper or pen to take notes, many refuse to redo their assignments for a couple extra points or for closure sake, and most of the redone works (even after correcting them in class) show no improvement.

One of my constraints for homework: the end product has to be hand written, including tables, charts and figures.  I can manage to read physicians’ prescriptions better than their handwriting assignment.

Zionist Ashkenazi Jews (including Neocons) who obey only the Talmud (and never the Torah), have formed a world power banking, extortion cult of war and death that has little or nothing to do with being devout adherents of Judaism. These are the folks who think nothing of breaking the law, lying (Kol Nidre), stealing, graft, corruption, assassination, blackmail, extortion or destroying tens of millions of people to get their way.

There is this couple of students who demonstrate this want to learn: it is always refreshing to feel that a few students are serious about the money invested by their parents for them to learn at universities.

Slavery is rampant in most countries, especially in West Africa (Mauritania, Ivory Coast, Gambia…), Yemen, Sudan and the Far East. Slavery is even practiced on its own citizens. Other countries abuse the “imported” work force to subjugate them into a state of slavery. (East European highway truck drivers consider themselves slaves to western Europeans capitalists)

Slaves were first “imported” from Madagascar, Sudan, East Africa and the current States bordering the Sahara Desert to Sultans in Morocco and the Ottoman Empire. Saudi Arabia is highest in that practice and the UN is declining to broach this indignity.

In the 18th century, the European colonial powers and the USA shipped slaves from West Africa for several centuries.

How to read the Beat generation books?

Jude Quinten Hawkins comment on Kerouac writing style:
when you read Beat authors like Kerouac, Kesey, or Burroughs, it helps to let go off any desire for a plot or arc of any sort.

Most of the time their books are more like snapshots of a place and time, put down in writing.

I try to pretend that I am there with them, hanging out in the car/apartment and just experience it as it comes without trying to make a bunch of grandiose connections about what it all means.

I think the key to success with On the Road is approaching it from the correct angle. Some people love it because its a rip-roaring party book, and in some respects, it is. But it is also a post WWII novel about people that had absolutely no idea how to live in the world they had helped build.

For what it’s worth, I toss it in the stack of work that I’d describe as apocalyptic.

Read it with Brautigan’s Trout Fishing in America, Carson’s Silent Spring, McCarthy’s The Road, DeLillo’s Point Omega, Harrison’s A Good Day to Die maybe watch Mad Max while you’re at it…

In that context, you probably still wouldn’t like the diction or the characters, but if the end doesn’t rip your heart and your guts right out, I’m not sure what would.

Honestly Kerouac is a mess, and to think that’s after going through edits and publishers.

It seems to me that some books are meant to be read over and over, On the Road being one of them, his style really is a reflection of his environment and the journey he was on.

Extremely heavy drinking and drug use, in fact, and I can’t be 100% on this but there should be a study confirming it I’ll see if I can find it, but examining On the Road is basically a case study in the effects of speed on the brain.

Mad typing, half-formed ideas, seeming madness on the page, as if his mind was moving much too fast for the typewriter to keep up and even with that he typed the 120-ft scroll of On The Road in little over two or three weeks, single spaced, no edits.

In the end he’s a talented mad typist that seems to just let the machine, be it car or typewriter, take him places



Israel Forcibly Injected African Immigrants with Birth Control, Report Claims

Jan. 28, 2013

 cover international movers and shakers.

This weekend, a report revealing that African women immigrating to Israel were subjected to mandatory contraceptive injections, effectively amounting to forced (if temporary) sterilization made global headlines.

Some 130,000 Ethiopians, most of them “supposedly” Jewish (on the basis of practicing Jewish daily rituals?), live in Israel. The community experiences higher poverty and unemployment rates than the rest of the  country’s Jewish population.

In the past decade, the birth rate among Ethiopian-Israelis has declined by at least 20 percent.  Advocacy groups now claim this decline is the result of a birth control regimen forced upon Ethiopian immigrant women.

According to an article in Haaretz, an Israeli news source, one Ethiopian immigrant said that the doctors who injected her claimed that “people who frequently give birth suffer.

While it is possible, if highly unlikely, that doctors genuinely had the women’s health in mind when they forcibly injected them with contraceptives, there is no excuse for depriving women sovereignty over their own reproductive choices.

Israel has acknowledged the issue (without admitting any wrongdoing) and has vowed institutional changes in healthcare for immigrants.

By decree of Israel’s health minister, gynecologists have been ordered “not to renew prescriptions for Depo-Provera for women of Ethiopian origin if for any reason there is concern that they might not understand the ramifications of the treatment.”

Still, intense scrutiny should be applied by women’s groups and international organizations to make sure these changes are implemented in full. Moreover, more attention must be paid to the plight of vulnerable African immigrants around the world.

That Israel should allegedly engage in this activity is particularly shocking, considering the practice was widely used by the Germans throughout the Shoah. While the scale and effects of these operations cannot be compared, Israel’s implicit intent to limit ‘burdensome’ (read: undesirable) portions of the population recalls the dark eugenics experiments of World War II.

Immigration, legal and otherwise, is a difficult and invariably sticky issue for developed nations.

Israel, like the United States, has struggled to find a way to secure its borders and its population while dealing with a constant stream of immigrants from neighboring countries and, increasingly, the African continent. While admitting the difficult security issues that Israel faces, the international community must loudly and unanimously rebuke the systematic violations of human rights inflicted on women immigrants of African origin.

From a sociological perspective, this incident shows the strain between Israel’s religious heritage and its modern political agenda.

“Behold, the heritage of the Lord is sons, the reward is the fruit of the innards. Like arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the sons of one’s youth.  Praiseworthy is the man who has filled his quiver with them,” the Torah proclaims. The involuntary sterilization of African immigrants suggests that the Jewish moral code (inextricably connected with Israel’s domestic legal codes) can be selectively applied to those with ‘desirable’ backgrounds.

It is hard, indeed almost impossible to believe that an American Jewish woman immigrating to Israel would be forced to take birth control.

Note: I posted a similar article a few years ago


U.S. military pays Syrian rebels up to $400 per month: Pentagon

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Syrian rebels receiving U.S. military training to battle Islamic State militants are being paid $250 to $400 per month, depending on their skills, performance and leadership position, the Pentagon said on Monday. (Mostly, trained to fight against the legitimate Syrian army when attempting to recapture lost territories from the terrorist factions)

It was not immediately clear how many Syrian rebels were currently being paid.

Army Colonel Steve Warren, a Defense Department spokesman, said last week that up to 200 Syrian fighters were undergoing training. A further 1,500 have completed the necessary screening.

Defense Secretary Ash Carter said in May that Syrian fighters participating in the U.S.-led mission would receive “some compensation,” but he gave no figures.

Navy Commander Elissa Smith, a Pentagon spokeswoman, said trainees were each receiving a stipend.

Some 6,000 Syrians have volunteered to participate in the U.S. effort to train and equip a politically moderate Syrian military force.

Warren said last week the effort had moved more slowly than expected due to complications vetting volunteers and bringing them out of Syria for the training.

Navy Captain Scott Rye, a spokesman for the Combined Joint Interagency Task Force-Syria, said a number had quit or been excluded, including a group who left together about 10 days ago.

Reasons for leaving included “everything from volunteers showing up without ID (identity) papers to being underage, to being unfit for training,” Rye said.

He declined to say how many fighters had left in total, but said: “The group that quit all quit at the same time after training for several weeks. This was unusual, and I would deem it a one-time event.”

He said it was not indicative of the overall program, adding that more than 1,000 new volunteers had signed up for the program since the group withdrew.

Rye denied a news report that the group withdrew because its members did not want to sign a contract agreeing not to fight the Syrian government of President Bashar al-Assad.

He said that, while U.S. officials had been clear the program was to train fighters to combat Islamic State, the only document participants had to sign was one committing them to promote respect for human rights and the rule of law, a mandate issued by the U.S. Congress.

(There is No more Islamic State, but the USA is still claiming to fight ISIS because it need this scapegoat to keep a military presence in Syria and Iraq.)

Reporting by David Alexander. Editing by Andre Grenon


Qu’a-t-on à prouver ?

Par Vivrelibre

Vouloir se prouver à nous-même notre capacité est la conséquence que nous sommes deux en nous-même… Une partie « qui est » et une autre partie « qui se veut ». (On est plusieurs quand on sent qu’on a besoin de se prouver?)

Cette volonté est rendue possible par la distinction mentale plus ou moins franche entre le réel et le virtuel, entre l’idéal et le concret, entre le présent et l’avenir. (l’abstrait et les facts?)

Mais, si nous sommes capables de créer et de nous réinventer nous-même, qu’est-ce qui fait que nous y soyons intérieurement contraint ? (Rien de tangible ne se materialize sans des contraints que le monde et nous-meme on s’impose)

Quel mécanisme intérieur nous pousse à nous prouver des choses ?

Pourquoi ne pas se contenter de ce qui est et de ce que nous sommes dans ce « ce qui est » ? Quelle force intérieure nous met en effort pour accoucher d’un avenir plus fort, plus beau ou plus bon ? (Ce sont les communautes et institutions qui ont la responsibilite’ d’offrire les opportunites pour qu’un individu se transform)

Il y a ce fameux principe d’entéléchie cher à Aristote qui nous pousse à admettre que tout ce qui est animé, tout ce qui vit, tend à s’accomplir en force et en harmonie. Tout individu naît et croît. Où la Vie, c’est précisément « cette intentionnalité à croître, à dominer et à explorer… » (L’intentionalite’ ne vient jamais du neant)

Ainsi sommes-nous peut-être tout bonnement porté par cet élan vital qui nous pousse à nous accomplir et à être en recherche de puissance et de perfection. Mais il y a souvent dans l’ambition humaine une sorte de trouble lié à l’excès et à l’abus.

Quand l’objet et l’intensité que nous mettons dans nos ambitions font défaut au second principe du développement de la Vie : la nécessité de l’équilibre et le besoin d’harmonie.

La plupart des humains sont malades (en disharmonie).

Soit parce qu’ils sont en panne d’ambition (car cassés par les brimades des plus forts et par les rouages de la société industrialisée), soit parce qu’il sont devenus esclaves de celle-ci… Et il y a en cela quelque chose à décortiquer du côté de notre psyché.

Un être en très bonne santé mentale aura développé une saine ambition, c’est à dire une ambition qui compose harmonieusement entre son potentiel et son actuel, entre son désir et son possible, entre son intérêt à lui et l’intérêt des autres.

Mais, la plupart des gens n’agissent pas dans leur profond intérêt mais agissent pour les intérêts superficiels d’autrui et se plient à l’autorité du plus fort (nos parents, nos patrons et tous les pouvoirs extérieurs auxquels nous nous soumettons). (The attitude of the Silent majority)

Et l’autorité fonctionne parce qu’il y a quelque chose en nous même qui agit selon les schémas d’autorités que nous nous sommes appropriés.

Et nul être ne peut être solide psychologiquement sans une autorité intérieure solide, cela en nous qui nous fait nous plier à une ligne de conduite, qui nous pousse à l’effort et ainsi à la bonne estime de nous-même.

Quels liens y a t-il entre l’ambition que l’on porte et l’estime que l’on a de soi ?

Le premier (l’ambition?), c’est le besoin affectif. En fait, le besoin d’estime de soi existe parce qu’il y a un besoin d’amour. Sinon à quoi bon être estimé ?

Le second, c’est le besoin de respect. Et derrière cette notion de respect se glisse : le sentiment de honte.

Lorsque notre humanité n’a pas été suffisamment respectée, lorsque le jugement a dévalorisé l’être, alors cela crée des failles psychologiques en nous… Failles qui vont souvent en première approche tenter de se compenser dans notre extériorité et par la même dans nos choix et orientation de qui nous devons être.

Plus le besoin d’affection et de respect est grand et plus l’ambition a des chances d’être grande.

Ainsi une ambition excessive (qui engendre sacrifice de sa joie et intolérance à l’échec et à la critique) à souvent pour origine : une carence affective durant une période importante de sa vie.

Les « malades d’ambition » sont des êtres qui cherchent à palier à un manque d’amour inconditionnel qu’il n’ont pas suffisamment reçu (voir pas reçu du tout). (Qui peut confirmer qu’il a eut la malchance d’un amour inconditionnel?)

En fait, on cherche tous à être aimé et nous vivons dans un monde et une société en carence d’amour inconditionnel (qui porte sur l’être et non sur le faire).

Au delà du fait que les preuves d’amour sont considérablement insuffisantes pour que les populations soient pleinement heureuses, ces preuves d’amour sont également conditionnées. (c’est une verite’ de La Palisse?)

Selon notre éducation, nous aimons ceux qui nous font plaisir, ceux qui sont forts, ceux qui font bien, ceux qui sont et font ainsi…

Et toutes ces façons de voir les autres sont les intériorisations du regard intérieur que nous portons sur nous-même (estime de soi) et qui nous pousse à agir comme sa direction nous l’indique. Où aimer, c’est ouvrir le champ de ce regard et le rendre plus bienveillant envers nous-même et donc envers les autres.

Si nous ne réapprenons pas à nous aimer nous même d’un amour inconditionnel, nous seront condamnés à être pressés par ce en quoi nous avons été conditionnés.

Faire et Être en harmonie et non plus Faire pour palier à un manque d’Être (aimé et respecté)…


The more males speak in pictures, the higher the rate of winning?

Proportion of words spoken by women and men in Oscar-winning films in my daughter’s lifetime. About time for more females scenario writers?

Assaad Zakka shared Carol Black‘s post.. 19 hrs · 
No automatic alt text available.

Carol Black. March 5 at 4:55am · 

Proportion of words spoken by women and men in Oscar-winning films in my daughter’s lifetime:

Note: Any tables on instances of rage, breaking furniture, sending tantrum, jogging to relieve stress…?





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