Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘Baby Boomers

Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy?

Lucy is part of Generation Y, the generation born between the late 1970s and the mid 1990s.  She’s also part of a yuppie culture that makes up a large portion of Gen Y.

Lucy Posted this Sept. 15, 2013

I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group — I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs.  A GYPSY is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.

So Lucy’s enjoying her GYPSY life, and she’s very pleased to be Lucy.  Only issue is this one thing:

Lucy’s kind of unhappy.

To get to the bottom of why, we need to define what makes someone happy or unhappy in the first place.  It comes down to a simple formula:

2013-09-15-Geny2.jpg

It’s pretty straightforward — when the reality of someone’s life is better than they had expected, they’re happy.  When reality turns out to be worse than the expectations, they’re unhappy.

(Reality demonstrates that the equation should be: (Expectations-Realities) since expectations are very many and stored in the unconscious mind)

To provide some context, let’s start by bringing Lucy’s parents into the discussion:

2013-09-15-Geny3.jpg

Lucy’s parents were born in the ’50s — they’re Baby Boomers.  They were raised by Lucy’s grandparents, members of the G.I. Generation, or “the Greatest Generation,” who grew up during the Great Depression and fought in World War II, and were most definitely not GYPSYs.

2013-09-15-Geny4.jpg

Lucy’s Depression Era grandparents were obsessed with economic security and raised her parents to build practical, secure careers.  They wanted her parents’ careers to have greener grass than their own, and Lucy’s parents were brought up to envision a prosperous and stable career for themselves.  Something like this:

2013-09-15-Geny5.jpg

They were taught that there was nothing stopping them from getting to that lush, green lawn of a career, but that they’d need to put in years of hard work to make it happen.

2013-09-15-Geny6.jpg

After graduating from being insufferable hippies, Lucy’s parents embarked on their careers.  As the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s rolled along, the world entered a time of unprecedented economic prosperity.

Lucy’s parents did even better than they expected to.  This left them feeling gratified and optimistic.

2013-09-15-Geny7.jpg

With a smoother, more positive life experience than that of their own parents, Lucy’s parents raised Lucy with a sense of optimism and unbounded possibility.  And they weren’t alone.

Baby Boomers all around the country and the world told their Gen Y kids that they could be whatever they wanted to be, instilling the special protagonist identity deep within their psyches.

This left GYPSYs feeling tremendously hopeful about their careers, to the point where their parents’ goals of a green lawn of secure prosperity didn’t really do it for them.  A GYPSY-worthy lawn has flowers.

2013-09-15-Geny8.jpg

This leads to our first fact about GYPSYs:

GYPSYs Are Wildly Ambitious

2013-09-15-Geny9.jpg

The GYPSY needs a lot more from a career than a nice green lawn of prosperity and security.  The fact is, a green lawn isn’t quite exceptional or unique enough for a GYPSY.  Where the Baby Boomers wanted to live The American Dream, GYPSYs want to live Their Own Personal Dream.

Cal Newport points out that “follow your passion” is a catchphrase that has only gotten going in the last 20 years, according to Google’s Ngram viewer, a tool that shows how prominently a given phrase appears in English print over any period of time.

The same Ngram viewer shows that the phrase “a secure career” has gone out of style, just as the phrase “a fulfilling career” has gotten hot.

2013-09-15-Geny10.jpg2013-09-15-geny11.jpg

To be clear, GYPSYs want economic prosperity just like their parents did — they just also want to be fulfilled by their career in a way their parents didn’t think about as much.

But something else is happening too.  While the career goals of Gen Y as a whole have become much more particular and ambitious, Lucy has been given a second message throughout her childhood as well:

2013-09-15-Geny12.jpg

This would probably be a good time to bring in our second fact about GYPSYs:

GYPSYs Are Delusional

“Sure,” Lucy has been taught, “everyone will go and get themselves some fulfilling career, but I am unusually wonderful and as such, my career and life path will stand out amongst the crowd.”  So on top of the generation as a whole having the bold goal of a flowery career lawn, each individual GYPSY thinks that he or she is destined for something even better —

A shiny unicorn on top of the flowery lawn.

2013-09-15-Geny13.jpg

So why is this delusional?  Because this is what all GYPSYs think, which defies the definition of special:

spe-cial | ‘speSHel | adjective better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.

According to this definition, most people are not special — otherwise “special” wouldn’t mean anything.

Even right now, the GYPSYs reading this are thinking, “Good point… but I actually am one of the few special ones” — and this is the problem.

A second GYPSY delusion comes into play once the GYPSY enters the job market.  While Lucy’s parents’ expectation was that many years of hard work would eventually lead to a great career, Lucy considers a great career an obvious given for someone as exceptional as she, and for her it’s just a matter of time and choosing which way to go.  Her pre-workforce expectations look something like this:

2013-09-15-Geny14.jpg

Unfortunately, the funny thing about the world is that it turns out to not be that easy of a place, and the weird thing about careers is that they’re actually quite hard.  Great careers take years of blood, sweat and tears to build — even the ones with no flowers or unicorns on them — and even the most successful people are rarely doing anything that great in their early or mid-20s.

But GYPSYs aren’t about to just accept that.

Paul Harvey, a University of New Hampshire professor and GYPSY expert, has researched this, finding that Gen Y has “unrealistic expectations and a strong resistance toward accepting negative feedback,” and “an inflated view of oneself.”  He says that “a great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren’t in line with their actual ability and effort levels, and so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting.”

For those hiring members of Gen Y, Harvey suggests asking the interview question, “Do you feel you are generally superior to your coworkers/classmates/etc., and if so, why?”  He says that “if the candidate answers yes to the first part but struggles with the ‘why,’ there may be an entitlement issue. This is because entitlement perceptions are often based on an unfounded sense of superiority and deservingness. They’ve been led to believe, perhaps through overzealous self-esteem building exercises in their youth, that they are somehow special but often lack any real justification for this belief.”

And since the real world has the nerve to consider merit a factor, a few years out of college Lucy finds herself here:

2013-09-15-Geny15.jpg

Lucy’s extreme ambition, coupled with the arrogance that comes along with being a bit deluded about one’s own self-worth, has left her with huge expectations,  even in early years out of college.  And her reality pales in comparison to those expectations, leaving her “reality – expectations” happy score coming out at a negative.

And it gets even worse.  On top of all this, GYPSYs have an extra problem that applies to their whole generation:

GYPSYs Are Taunted

Sure, some people from Lucy’s parents’ high school or college classes ended up more successful than her parents did.  And while they may have heard about some of it from time to time through the grapevine, for the most part they didn’t really know what was going on in too many other peoples’ careers.

Lucy, on the other hand, finds herself constantly taunted by a modern phenomenon: Facebook Image Crafting.

Social media creates a world for Lucy where

A) what everyone else is doing is very out in the open,

B) most people present an inflated version of their own existence, and

C) the people who chime in the most about their careers are usually those whose careers (or relationships) are going the best, while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation.

This leaves Lucy feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well, only adding to her misery:

2013-09-15-Geny16.jpg

So that’s why Lucy is unhappy, or at the least, feeling a bit frustrated and inadequate.

In fact, she’s probably started off her career perfectly well, but to her, it feels very disappointing.

Here’s my advice for Lucy:

1) Stay wildly ambitious.  The current world is bubbling with opportunity for an ambitious person to find flowery, fulfilling success.  The specific direction may be unclear, but it’ll work itself out — just dive in somewhere.

2) Stop thinking that you’re special.  The fact is, right now, you’re not special.  You’re another completely inexperienced young person who doesn’t have all that much to offer yet.  You can become special by working really hard for a long time (coupled with an objective, a fantastic daydream project).

3) Ignore everyone else. Other people’s grass seeming greener is no new concept, but in today’s image crafting world, other people’s grass looks like a glorious meadow. The truth is that everyone else is just as indecisive, self-doubting, and frustrated as you are, and if you just do your thing, you’ll never have any reason to envy others.

Note:  Read Adam Weinstein position https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2013/09/21/the-me-generation-gen-y-to-change-workplace-adam-weinstein-beg-to-differ-i-dont-feel-special-or-entitled-and-im-just-poor/

If you liked this article, you can subscribe to Wait But Why by entering your email here.

Visit Wait But Why: www.waitbutwhy.com

The Me Generation? Gen. Y to change workplace? Adam Weinstein beg to differ “I Don’t Feel Special or Entitled, And I’m Just Poor…”

Generation Y is characterized as lazy, self-centered and demanding…. What’s new in this same description of every generation?

Millennials, or Generation Y, have significantly different values, beliefs and lifestyle from the Baby Boomer generation, differences that organizations are having to adapt to for the simple reason that Millennials will dominate the workplace in the coming decade. (And who else but new generations to dominate workplace, somehow, any which way?)

Ray Williams said that the Generation Y is changing the workplace16/09/13

“By 2020, nearly 50% of the U.S. workforce will consist of Millennial, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Another study predicts nearly 75% by 2025. In Canada, the forecasts are 75% by the year 2028.

I’ve had the privilege of working with scores of Gen Ys in the Vancouver Board of Trade’s Leaders of Tomorrow mentoring program and found them to be passionate and driven to make a difference in the world, as well as confident they can assume the role of leaders early in their careers.

Clearly these young people see their careers and the workplace very differently than do the Baby Boomers.”

Adam Weinstein posted this Sept. 17, 2013 “Fuck You. I’m Gen Y, and I Don’t Feel Special or Entitled, Just Poor

A bunch of you people on Facebook and Twitter keep sharing a Huff Po stick-figure thing about how Gen Y is unhappy because they’re unrealistic delusional ingrates.

Fuck You. I'm Gen Y, and I Don't Feel Special or Entitled, Just Poor.

You know, this thing.

If you wrote that, or you liked that, carefully consider these thoughts:

1) These are weirdly contrived generational categories, too weird for such black-and-white reasoning.

I’ve always thought myself more tail-end-of-Gen-X in temperament, age, and outlook. But ‘1977-’79 is a sociologically ambiguous no-man’s land, and we typically get lumped in with the millennial, especially when it comes to money matters.

2) Go f**k yourselves. You have no idea about student debt, underemployment, life-long renting.

“Stop feeling special” is some shitty advice. I don’t feel special or entitled, just poor.

The only thing that makes me special is I have more ballooning debt than you. I’ve tempered the hell out of my expectations of work, and I’ve exceeded those expectations crazily to have one interesting, exciting damned career that’s culminated in some leadership roles for national publications.

And I’m still poor and in debt and worked beyond the point where it can be managed with my health and my desire to actually see the son I’m helping to raise.

Younger journos see me as a success story and ask my advice, and I feel like a fraud, because I’m doing what I love, and it makes me completely miserable and exhausts me.

Last weekend my baby had a fever, and we contemplated taking him to the ER, and my first thought was – had to be – “Oh God, that could wipe out our bank account! Maybe he can just ride it out?”

Our status in this Big Financial Game had sucked my basic humanity towards my child away for a minute. If I wish for something better, is that me simply being entitled and delusional?

There are delusions at play here, but they are not our generation’s.

They play out as two contradictory lectures that we are told, simultaneously, by our moneyed elders:

1) This is AMERICA. Everybody does better than their parents!

2) This is AMERICA. Suck it up and quit bitching that you’re not as well-off as your parents!

The latter maxim lurks in the heart of every critique of millennials. It assumes that if we’re worse off than previous generations, the fault is ours, and our complaints are so much white whine. We should shut up and be content, because we do work less than our forebears, and spend more time enraptured by our own navels, trying to divine some life-affirming creative direction in them.

But there’s nothing for us to suck up, really.

As a rule, our parents did end up much more dedicated to their careers than we have.

But as a rule, they were laid off less. They didn’t intern or work as independent contractors. They got full medical. They were occasionally permitted to adopt magical unicorn-like money-granting creatures called “pensions.”

Or, barring that, they accumulated a huger 401K to cash out before the Great Recession, because they saved more.

And they saved more because the costs of college, of kid care, of health care, of doing business and staying alive and buying groceries and staying connected, were far less than they are today. They could raise a family on one salary if necessary.

They had room to advance and buy things. Yes, even the creatives. I once listened to a professor, who is in his sixties, read us the first published piece he’d been paid for, in the late 1970s. A thousand words or so. The rate, he says, was something like two bucks a word. That’s four times what the Village Voice pays today, even for an award-winning investigative cover story.

It’s geometrically greater than what most writers can earn today writing daily brilliance for nationally renowned publications online. And writing daily brilliance, which many of them do, is hard goddamned work.

If I had a dollar for every older writer or editor who confided to me that “I don’t know how young writers do it today; I certainly couldn’t,” I could buy every property that publishes them.

So no, we shan’t be doing as well as our parents, and no, we shan’t be shutting up about it.

If anything, those of us who have been cowed into silence because college-educated poor problems aren’t real poor problems should shed our fears and start talking about just how hard it really is out there, man.

This state of affairs does not exist because we’re entitled and have simply declined to work as hard as the people that birthed us.

American workers have changed from generation to generation: Since 1979, the alleged Dawn of the Millennial, the average U.S. worker has endured a 75% increase in productivity…while real wages stayed flat.

Those changes are blips on a timeline compared to the massive, psyche-altering vicissitudes of American Industry, its self-Taylorization to the point where profit-making and shareholder value have been maximized in ways that Morgans and Carnegies and Vanderbilts couldn’t even have conceived — in ways that have stiffed workers and the families they can no longer afford.

Since 1979, the top 1% of earners in America has seen their income quadruple.

So take your “revise your expectations! check your ego!” Horatio Alger bullshit, and stuff it.

While you’re at it, stuff this economy.

Not this GDP, not this unemployment level: this economy, this financial system that establishes complete social and political control over us, that conditions us to believe that we don’t deserve basic shelter and clothing and food and education and existence-sustaining medical care unless we throw our lives into vassalage and hope, pray, that the lords don’t fuck with our retirements or our coverage. (Maybe if we’re extra productive, someday they’ll do a 4o1K match again, like our ancestors used to talk about!)

Take the system that siphons off our capacities for human flourishing in hopes that we get thrown a little coin of the realm in return.

Take that system and blow it up, you cowards.

Oh, and also, stop thinking that you’re special.

Note: What are the other kinds of millennial? https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/millennial-boomer-and-gen-x-generations-whats-the-differences/


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

June 2021
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  

Blog Stats

  • 1,471,968 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.adonisbouh@gmail.com

Join 805 other followers

%d bloggers like this: