Adonis Diaries

Is it mostly “mislove”? Irrespective of Mid-life crisis?

Note: Re-edit of “Is it Love, Regret, Mid-life crisis…or “Misslove”?  April 1, 2012″

We really don’t regret the dreadful acts: We regret not having made more of them when society considered us to be at a stupid and reckless age…

We regret not having far more sex, not going out with more blind dates, beautiful women or thought they were too above our condition to talk to, lovely girls we dared not approach…

And ending up with the recollection of pretty much a dry desert of a romantic life, tumbleweeds ever blowing any which way…

You are happiest when your mind wander the least at the task you are doing: Mainly when you are having sex…

One of the partner will keep reminding you to focus on the job.

Even in close battle contact, having sex is a happier moment than shooting at someone else.

Young people and middle-age people who sign on to go to war are the one who were not “having any“: They are delusional that if they could not have sex in peacetime that wartime will bring far higher opportunities, sort of the army bringing in and paying for whores…

Best time to die for men is when your sex engagement seems to have finally reached its climax in performance…of what you could ever achieve later on.

For women, climax is an addiction, and the best time to die is when the offer is getting rare…or of much lower quality in endurance or shame attitude…Sort of the male partner having this attitude: “I don’t give a damn what you think of my performance; I just got some...”

As Marcus Berkmann wrote:

“Heterosexual men in mid-life crisis have a strong sense that, in mild weather conditions, there are more attractive women than they ever dreamed off in their youth.

Where were the attractive girls when I was younger?

The answer is that at the age of 55, men have included in their gawking a vaster range of women, starting from age 15 to 50…”

The trick is that sex was displaced to the realm of the mind: The mind is a far livelier, vivid, imaginative part that never rest or take a break from lusting…and going nowhere but circling in a vicious loop.

Trust is a one-year old baby laughing when you throw him in the air: How much trust is in any relationship? That is why sex-toys are the rage.  

The largest group are the divorced people, and they enjoy the highest rate of sex frequency in an average month (6 to 10 times), and only 1% of this group admitted having none, compared to all the other unhappy cluster groups.  

No wonder why people divorce in trove within the first 7-year stunt of marriage.

In the 18th century, marriages didn’t fail: They ended.  How so?

Life expectancy was so short that 25% of weddings were of the re-marriage kind.

In any case, sex was truly in the 5th position on the list of priority in marriage after trust, companionship, sense of humor, and financial stability…

The extended family lived and slept together in one room…

Mid-life crisis has nothing to do with age: It is a sudden realization.

The cause of the crisis is:

“You feel suddenly that you reached an impasse, and you are in no mood for making a U-turn promptly”. By the time you decide for a U-turn, you have made a fool of yourself so abundantly that you have no shame anymore…

Mid-life crisis is the realization that we truly are going to die. Anytime soon.

And we dare not contemplate “When am I going to be next?”

We want to forget this sudden reality, anyway that tempt us, especially having more varied sex opportunities…We don’t want to die having this Regret of “Not had enough sex”

Mid-life crisis people feel that their varieties and intensity of shame and fear are far less in number or acuity.

I think that in critical situations, particularly when a childhood memory plays the catalyst, mid-age sense of shame and fear are much higher than in youth period.

In any case, Jealousy is still there, more intense and livelier.

Jealousy simply lacks the vital  space of larger interactions with people, and the occasional encounters are very short, and the stamina to act on it is horribly reduced…

In Mid-life you hear more often “Let me present you my mistress, lover, girlfriend, special friend…” How about the more appropriate and dignified term “Misslove“?

In youth, mankind is an animal in the flesh; at older age he is an animal in the mind.

With rare exceptions, those very few in the very end of the tail of the “normal curve”, the rest of us 99.999% have no foundations to claim superiority over any specie.

We just take umbrage based on the performances of the very few.

And this is not a logical exercises!

This essay applies to the female gender too.