Adonis Diaries

“I have never been embarrassed in my life…”, I know how to deal with embarrassing situations…

People who don’t care what others think, don’t have to say they don’t care what others think.

Listen to opinions that matter.

Anyone who has done anything of significance has felt embarrassed.

Dan Rockwell listed ways to deal with embarrassment.

Dealing with embarrassment:

1. Remain focused on the reason you stepped out in the first place. You’re trying to make a difference. The deadly power of embarrassment is its ability to obscure purpose. Never solve embarrassment by embracing someone else’s goal/purpose for your leadership.
2. Prepare diligently. Willing to be embarrassed never justifies laziness or lack of preparation.
3. Execute with energy. Tentative movements invite criticism and increase embarrassment. Timidity anticipates embarrassment and pulls back.
4. Stay vulnerable and in tune with your heart. Lack of vulnerability causes you to lose yourself.
5. Enlarge your circle of friends. Find supporters who share your values and vision.
6. Consider the source. Is ridicule coming from arrogant asses sitting on the sidelines? Ignore them.
7. Choose goals that matter more than embarrassment hurts.  I spoke at a High School graduation in a Federal Prison. I honored the graduating prisoners by pointing out they had been willing to fail and feel embarrassed in order to reach their goal. You have to be willing to say you failed your history test in order to pass it

It is Who, Not what

Four steps toward character based leadership

First, determine who you want to be as an organization. Forget about what you do. That comes later. Determine if you want to be innovative or “steady as she goes,” for example. Identify words that describe the best you; exciting, caring, trustworthy, systematic, or transformative.

Second, determine people-qualities that express who you want to be organizationally. Forget about communication skills, culture building, and organizational charts. What qualities in people help your organization become who it must be?

Innovative organizations need courage more than tenderness.

Trustworthy organizations look for steadiness in people.

All organizations, in reality, need courageous, steady people. It’s a matter of focus and degree.

Third, in order to develop character based leaders, identify behaviors that express character. Courage might be associated with speaking truth to superiors. Honesty could be tied to owning mistakes.

Fourth, tie all skill development to character qualities. Describe courage, selflessness, or innovation in ways that express who your organization must become.

Develop character based leaders by connecting skills to character.

Let’s say you want to be an exceptional service organization. You’re looking for selfless qualities, not big egos.

You might identify gregarious, kind, and flexible as three character qualities that help your organization be who it should be. Flesh out character with behaviors. Determine three behaviors that express flexibility, for example. Or, describe what kindness looks like in your organization?

Problem solving:

Character based organizations  develop character based leaders when they solve problems by focusing first on character then on skills.

Train people who to be before telling them what to do.

Suppose an employee isn’t responding to others in a timely manner. Focus on respect and courtesy before explaining time management techniques.