Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘family violence

Tidbits and notes posted on FB and Twitter. Part 198

Note: I take notes of books I read and comment on events and edit sentences that fit my style. I pa attention to researched documentaries and serious links I receive. The page is long and growing like crazy, and the sections I post contains a month-old events that are worth refreshing your memory.

Obama was awarded Peace Nobel for his “good intentions to peace“. Wars are worse after 8 years. Time to revert to facts on the ground. Not likely to do same mistake with Donald Trump

Sexual abuses are pretty common everywhere around the world. In many societies, the abuses are not made public for the sake of Honor in the communities, and much less taken to court. In India, occasionally, the community orders a gang raping ritual to salvage the community honor.

Commonly, it is the victim of sexual abuse who carries the brunt of the burden to “prove” the case, given that the victim is willing to have her life-style and history (sexual and other crimes) divulged and thoroughly cross-examined by the defense lawyers…

Why family violence and of the very serious kinds, like beating, bruising, breaking of bones, raping… get a slap on the wrist on the ground of “family matters” and no one has to interfere and the cases are hushed up and not disseminated by the media?

It is about time that these “sexual abuses” allegations be defined operationally, every term of the dozens of innuendos related to sexual abusesharassment, molestation and their various synonyms.

The need for an exhaustive taxonomy of “Family Violence” is becoming an urgent matter, and sex abuses to be a subcategory. Factors like level of seriousness of the abuse (physically, mentally, socially, legally), frequency and duration of the abuse, idiosyncrasy of the community…

If 90% of all liability cases (work related safety and health, car accidents, business related charges…) are settled out of court, why should sexual abuses Not be at the negotiation table by sex “forensic experts“?

Teams of Medical professionals, jurists, social workers, politicians, judges and representatives of communities… must be given the task of operationally defining the kinds of sexual abuses, such as frequency, duration, long-term consequences, cost of trials and recovery, community idiosyncrasies… and admitting the opinions of Sex forensic experts in court

The expert opinions of Sex forensic experts, and who is knowledgeable in a particular community idiosyncrasies need to be recognized in court to save the victims from public harassment, settle 90% of cases out of court, and cut court costs

Bass mou7akaat Red Cross activities, chemical bomb, atomic bomb, white helmet faked videos… yalleh biyet kharraj min Johannam al ard, ma ello jalad tefnissaat johannam al aakherat

Is Lebanon internal force Officer Khashmi Houshaymeh sleeping well? Saf3at hal 3ameed la mouwaten youtaleb bi 7okkou, min 3awaared 7okm al militia. E3laan kouwa al amen ma bi shaje3 le radd al saf3a

Women marched against family violence: Lebanon, March 8, 2014. And shocking statistics

The earliest Women’s Days were held in the first decade of 20th century. This was before women had the vote, before women could legally terminate a pregnancy.

In the UK, it was only ten years since a married woman could legally own her own property, rather than be property herself. Marie Curie was yet to become the first woman to win the Nobel Prize.

More than a century later and it’s tempting to see International Women’s Day as redundant, a celebratory event at best.

Why do we need the event at all?

The causes that triggered those first campaigns have been fought and won.

Women in today’s society have all the equality they could ever need, right? Wrong.

Women own less than 2% of properties and less than 10% of total revenue for working 60% more than males.

Women in Lebanon marched against family violence and the urgency for laws that punish the perpetrators.

So moved seeing photos on my wall of all the wonderful people filling the streets today to demand equal rights for Lebanese women, and end this horrible state of patriarchy.
This was our rallying cry today! With no politician to support. People of Lebanon, you still give me hope
Leah Choueiry's photo.
Excellent turn out at the demonstration to have a law against violence against women ‪#‎womensrights‬ ‪#‎lebanon‬ ‪#‎kafa‬ ‪#‎whpwomenwhoinspire‬
Excellent turn out at the demonstration to have a law against violence against women #womensrights #lebanon #kafa #whpwomenwhoinspire
Reine Azzi added 9 new photos — with Rania Hammoud and 4 others.
Excellent demonstration today! Turn-out, messages, creativity…
This gives me hope! It’s a shame that we have to fight for a law that should be common sense! Against domestic abuse and violence!
A crime is a crime, regardless of whether it happens on the street or behind bedroom doors. ‪#‎Womensrights‬ ‪#‎kafa‬ ‪#‎Lebanon‬
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Reine Azzi's photo.
Cynthia Choucair was tagged in Salam Hammoud‘s photo.
Salam Hammoud's photo.
March 7, 2014

International Women’s Day 2014: The shocking statistics that show why it is still so important

International Women’s Day is still needed to motivate change, at home and abroad. Some of these statistics put into sharp relief just how far we still have to go.

Violence

Globally, about one in three women will be beaten or raped during their lifetime. About 44% of all UK women have experienced either physical or sexual violence since they were 15-years-old.

Britain ranks among the worst countries in Europe when it comes to women being violently abused.

On average, 30% of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical or sexual violence by their partner.

38% of all murders of women worldwide are committed by a woman’s intimate partner.

A UN report said 99.3% of women and girls in Egypt had been subjected to sexual harassment.

Female Genital Mutilation

This is where girls have either all or part of their clitoris and inner and outer labia sliced off without anaesthesia, and sometimes have part of their vaginas sewn up too.

Over 130 million women living in the world today have undergone Female Genital Mutilation.

There as as many as 24,000 girls are at risk of cutting in the UK.

In one Birmingham hospital as many as 40 to 50 women every month are treated after undergoing female genital mutilation.

Marriage

Around 14 million girls, some as young as eight years old, will be married in 2014.

An estimated 1.2m children are trafficked into slavery each year; 80 per cent are girls.

In 10 countries around the world women are legally bound to obey their husbands

Only 76 countries have legislation that specifically addresses domestic violence – and just 57 of them include sexual abuse.

Working rights

In the UK, the gender pay gap stands at 15%, with women on average earning £5,000 less a year than their male colleagues.

The disparity is even greater in part time jobs, going up to 35 per cent.

Globally only a 24 per cent of senior management roles are now filled by women.

The Equalities and Human Rights Commission estimates it will take 70 years at the current rate of progress to see an equal number of female and male directors of FTSE 100 companies.

This hurts everyone. The gender gap in certain industries is even more apparent and damaging.

Zemach Getahun estimates that closing the gender gap in agriculture could reduce the number of hungry people in the world by 12-17 per cent.

If the skills and qualifications of women who are currently out of work in the UK were fully utilised, the UK could deliver economic benefits of £15 to £21 billion pounds per year – more than double the value of all our annual exports to China.

Man’s Lebanon? Gino can’t cool off

Yesterday, and for the third consecutive week, a third young mother was beaten to death by her husband.

I posted one of Gino’s angry articles last week as the “Sports” minister promised to “investigate” the 3-year old semi-nude photo-shoot of Olympics Champion Jackie Chamoun on a Lebanese ski resort https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/lebanon-we-are-all-jackie-chamoun-chirine-rasha-kahil/.

“While sitting in the smartly decorated, adorable apartment of Dounia in the Upper West Side of Mahattan, I sigh with relief that I’m not in Lebanon.

Yet I cannot but let my thoughts drift away to that hellish tiny piece of 10452 km2 divided land, even as I gaze up at the skyscrapers I called home last year and hope to call home permanently some day soon” wrote Gino.

It’s a Man’s Lebanon

 posted this Feb. 17, 2014

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I grew up in a family where my sister and I were never treated differently.

My mom is a top-notch executive at a multinational, and my sister does psychology work in places That even I would think twice before visiting.

My relationships were never the stereotypical man and woman, even though some old-fashioned gentlemanly gestures like opening the door for my date still survive.  (Good custom Gino)

Many of my mentors are strong, brilliant women, like Joumana Haddad.

What I’m trying to say is that the machismo so characteristic of Lebanese men (in relation to other men? Lambs when confronted with women)), was never an issue for me, and the problems associated with it seem incomprehensible most of the time.

During the past few years, I’ve campaigned with NGOs like KAFA for women’s rights (Enough is enough) constantly. From protests, to lobby groups, to naming and shaming the MPs responsible and the legal headache that comes along with that, I saw how what all the amazing people on board had worked so hard for get sabotaged and gutted by dirty MPs and disgusting religious men.

With only minor victories, like eradicating the barbaric “honor crimes” section of the penal code, it’s frustrating and depressing that women in Lebanon are so lacking in terms of human and civil rights in 2014.

Unchecked Domestic Violence

In the past two weeks, 2 women have been beaten to death by barbaric husbands, and a third committed suicide because of the hardships her spouse put her through.

Add those 3 to 24 other innocent women killed by domestic violence and rape in Lebanon since 2010. What do you get?

An acquittal of one murdered woman’s husband, who never even stood before a judge before being let off the hook and allowed to be the guardian of her 3 beautiful children.

What happened? Nothing.

The pro-women’s rights movement in Lebanon is always dismissed by the macho as “a reason for a woman to get her husband into trouble by lying about being abused.”

You’d think that absurd excuse would be rare, but I’ve heard it myself from several people, including women, on more occasions than I’d care to admit.

No Citizenship

A Lebanese mother cannot pass down her nationality to her kids.

This archaic law was put in place to allay the fears some Lebanese had that Palestinians would seek to “normalize” their presence in Lebanon by marrying Lebanese women. As if a Palestinian woman marrying a Lebanese man is any different. Disgusting, sexist and misogynistic law derived from a morbidly xenophobic mentality.

Blatant Racism

As if the citizenship “provision” wasn’t bad enough, migrant workers in Lebanon get their fare share of abuse and oppression.

Whilst 27 Lebanese women have been killed in the past 4 years, one domestic worker is killed or commits suicide in Lebanon ever single week. That’s over 200 innocent domestic workers in the same amount of time.

If it’s not physical assault and rape, it’s modern-day slavery-style labor, with passports withheld and doors locked on them when the employers leave home.

And if not that, visitors from countries perceived as “domestic workers” by Lebanese, such as Sri Lanka, India, the Philippines and Ethiopia, are treated like second-class citizens and human beings. Like denied entry to venues, racial slurs and governmental harassment by police and at the customs control area in the airport, gives a horribly racist and backwards image of Lebanon.

Zero Empowerment

Government cabinets usually have no women. Our parliament is only 3% female.

The only reason women were incorporated into the police force is to help them search women wearing hijab (Head and face cover).

Paperwork in many companies and most governmental institutions need the husband’s oversight or signature. The list goes on and on.

The idea is, women aren’t as empowered as men when it comes to elected office and high-profile careers or even startups.

Hyper-sexualized but Sex is Taboo

Fake boobs, fake lips, fake ass cheeks, fake heels, fake brands, fake eyelashes and nails.

Women are expected to dress provocatively, with cleavage on the verge of bursting and heels more fitting for a corner hooker, you’d think these girls are getting some action.

If they do though, they become “damaged material” to other guys and girls, “ruining the honor” of her family.

Heck, even posing topless like Jackie Chamoun can get you in a ton of trouble. So, in a hyper-sexually suggestive society, being promiscuous if you’re female is still very much frowned upon. Or not even promiscuous, just sexually active, is something many women would rather keep secret.

Women should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies. They aren’t the property of their dads or brothers, they’re their own people, and in Lebanon, many men, and a sizable amount of women still refuse to accept that.

I Wouldn’t Wan’t My Daughter or Wife in Lebanon

I’ve dated a Korean girl, and an Indian girl in my life.

I would tell them stories about Beirut and Lebanon. How epic it was.

How fun life there can be. But deep down, I knew, but never told them, that I couldn’t invite them over to Lebanon.

Imagine going to a posh club and being denied entry because a half-wit baboon bouncer thought they were my “maid”.

Imagine a bunch of drunk kids making fun of us while walking down a street. The humiliation would be unbearable. Not the humiliation of dating someone from another race. That’s something to be proud of, proof you love someone for who they are, not what backwards society thinks they should be.

But the humiliation of being Lebanese, of fellow countrymen treating the women I date with such racist, supremacist, all-out stupid attitudes. I want them to keep the good idea of Lebanon and the Lebanese I hopefully portrayed to them, not the one it really is.

I’d never want my daughter born in Lebanon.

Imagine she dates a douche-bag and becomes a social outcast after he tells everyone they slept together (which should be normal for any consenting young adult).

Imagine she marries a sick bastard who beats and rapes her, but the priest or sheikh won’t allow her to divorce him, and the state sits and watches idly as she gets murdered by a testosterone-crazed macho man.

Imagine my grand-kids being denied a Lebanese citizenship if my daughter marries a foreigner. Imagine the humiliation of being a Lebanese father.

I’d never want my daughter born in Lebanon.

Not as long as we have presidents, prime ministers, speakers of parliament, ministers and religious men like the ones we have now.

Not as long as some cabdrivers pay a migrant worker 5,000 LBP (less than $3) after raping her. Not when people still differentiate between a man’s rights and a woman’s rights.

Not when many women accept that as their fate and do nothing to help the movement for their civil and human rights.

What Can Be Done?

  • Mandatory Civil Marriage (because the people who do it willingly don’t need it as much as those forced into religious marriages)
  • Abolishing religious personal status laws (so we level the playing field)
  • Severe punishment of men who rape or abuse women (serious jail time)
  • Draft laws that sanctify a woman as equal, not complimentary to men (this isn’t Kandahar/Saudi/Iran)
  • The right to pass down citizenship (Cut out racism and genders differences in our laws)
  • Focus on these issues instead of the ideological wars everyone is so preoccupied with.

How?

Force our MPs to vote for it. Name and shame every abuser of women’s rights.

Eject religious authorities from the bedroom and club.

So

Lebanon is a man’s world, and it is one of the many reasons why I utterly hate it at the moment, and feel the need for change more than ever.

Note: Read more on that topic of racism behavior https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/racism-behavior-on-many-levels-in-lebanon-high-and-middle-classes-communities/

Sexual Abuses? Time to define Operationally the variations in abuses…

Not a day goes by without the news media displaying their favorite topics “Sexual Abuses”, particularly when involving “public figures“.

Sexual abuses are pretty common everywhere around the world. In many societies, the abuses are not made public, hidden under the carpets, for the sake of Honor in the communities, and much less taken to court. In India, occasionally, the community orders a gang raping ritual to salvage the community honor.

In a few developed or “civilized” societies, sexual abuses have been legally prosecuted in the last 3 decades, in the laws and in courts, as long as an adult member files charges.

The trials and investigations are very lengthy, time and energy consuming, and only people with deep pockets can afford to go ahead with the case to reach any resolution.

Usually, it is the victim that carries the brunt of the burden to “prove” the case, given that the victim is willing to have her life-style and history (sexual and other crimes) divulged and thoroughly cross-examined by the defense lawyers…

There are too many claims and cases of sexual abuses in the court pipeline, and most of the times the verdict rendered is “We might never know the truth“.

What truth are the victims and defendants are expected to know?

Unless the victim and perpetrator are very disturbed and mentally sick, they know exactly what happened and not many people care to know how they are going about their life.

It is about time that these “sexual abuses” allegations be defined operationally, every term of the dozens of innuendos related to sexual abusesharassment, molestation and their various synonyms.

The need for an exhaustive taxonomy of “Family Violence” is becoming an urgent matter, and sex abuses be a subcategory. Factors like level of seriousness (physically, mentally, socially, legally), frequency and duration of the abuse, idiosyncrasy of the community…

The general public must have a clear idea what the charges are, simply by reading the definition and description of the charge, complete with the consequences and damages (physical, mental and legal) understood to carry with.

We need a pragmatic notion of operationally defining and describing sexual abuse cases.

You have armies of psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, medical professionals, lawyers, social workers, judges, social institutions, investigators, police officers, clinical institutions… All of them getting a “cut” in this multi-billion cake industry.

If 90% of all liability cases (work related safety and health, car accidents, business related charges…) are settled out of court, why should sexual abuses not be of the negotiated kind by sexforensic experts“?

Why family violence of the very serious kinds, like beating, bruising, breaking of bones, raping… get a slap on the wrist on the ground of “family matters” and no one has to interfere and the cases are hushed up and not disseminated by the media?

Why people who take pleasure in sniffing pussies, holding a kid on their laps, touching breast, buttocks and other body parts or enjoying nudity… have to be considered monsters of sexual abusers and the cases be dragged on for years and the parties have to suffer the ignominies of social stigma and pay the heavy price in shame, time, energy and financial loss?

And the family swimming in that ugly morass of blurred legal territory with countless connotation attached to a broad term according to various idiosyncrasies.

Teams of Medical professionals, jurists, social workers, politicians, judges and representatives of communities… must be given the task of operationally defining the sexual abuses, such as frequency, duration, long-term consequences, cost of trials and recovery, community idiosyncrasies…

The victims and perpetrators should be able to expect how long and how bad are the consequences for carrying on in the process.

Possibly, many defendants might acknowledge the ill-behavior if the definition of the case is not that damaging: Kind of trade-off issue in time, energy, cost… in order to get on with their lives.

The court should be the last resort for most cases, as is the custom in other types of liability cases of safety, health and financial charges.

Let’s tackle this multi-billion business by the horns.

Any educated person and those who experienced the harrowing process can suggest a taxonomy of family violence. This is a worth it endeavor in the right direction.

Frankly, if the definitions are operational and detailed, I don’t see why a few police officers in the precinct are not trained to explain to the person filing charges what are the process, the consequences and length of time and difficulties that such a charge entails.

A Teacher, a wife, a mother: Beaten to death in broad daylight in a crowded place…

Family Violence is reaching the media, after centuries of being buried under carpets. These kinds of violence are not exclusive to under-developed societies, but are even more common in countries where opportunities to experience and witness violence are widespread.

Family violence is basically a community responsibility to monitor, re0educate, control, and expose.

BEIRUT: A woman died in a Beirut hospital early Wednesday due to injuries she suffered when her husband allegedly beat her repeatedly with a pressure cooker, a security source told The Daily Star.

Dahlia Nehme published in The Daily Star this Feb. 6, 2014

The husband, Mohammad al-Nhaily reportedly used the kitchen appliance to strike Manal al-Assi, his second wife, a mother of two, and a teacher, after a quarrel turned violent.

The incident took place in front of their two daughters, Tala and Sara, in their home in the Beirut neighborhood of Tariq al-Jadideh, the source said.

According to Assi’s brother, the neighbors heard the couple’s screams and called the local police station, only to be told by security personnel there that they couldn’t interfere in a family matter.

After beating Assi, Nhaily wrapped her in a carpet and tried to hide his crime, the brother told The Daily Star.

But neighbors and members of Assi’s family who live nearby broke into the house and rushed her to nearby Makassed Hospital.

Nhaily, a carpenter, managed to flee while the neighbors and family members were preoccupied with Assi, the brother said.

However, attempts to save Assi’s life failed, and she died 12 hours after being admitted to the hospital as a result of a deadly hemorrhage, the security source said.

Assi’s family held a funeral in Ali ben Abi Taleb mosque Wednesday and laid her to rest in Martyrs Cemetery, with shots fired into the air in tribute.

Assi and Nhaily’s daughters are staying at their grandparents’ house for the time being.

Assi’s family has filed a complaint against their son-in-law based on the medical report and the coroner’s examination of her body.

Neighbors told The Daily Star that the couple usually led a quiet life, with such violent quarrels rare. They said things had changed lately after Nhaily took a second wife.

This latest fatality related to domestic violence comes as the family of another victim, Roula Yaacoub, continues to demand justice for their daughter, who they say was also beaten to death by her husband.

Yaacoub was found comatose at her home in Halba, Akkar, last July, and died upon arrival at the hospital.

Yaacoub’s relatives and neighbors maintain that her husband beat her and their 5 daughters regularly.

However, the judiciary released a 13-page report last month that cleared Yaacoub’s husband, Karam al-Bazzi, of any role in her death.

A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Daily Star on February 06, 2014, on page 4.

Read more: http://www.dailystar.com.lb/News/Lebanon-News/2014/Feb-06/246514-teacher-beaten-to-death-by-her-husband.ashx#ixzz2sd5EGb3Q
(The Daily Star :: Lebanon News :: http://www.dailystar.com.lb)


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

October 2020
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