Adonis Diaries

Very happy I am; very lucky, indeed!  

Note:  This article is extracted from the epilogue of “Thus Spoken the Killer” by Nasri Sayegh; the epilogue is entitled “Fuck it”

 

Very happy the individual who emerges from a civil war with a simple insult on barricades; who received just a slap, a box, or a vengeful wait on barricades.

 

Very happy who escaped a civil war and was robbed a bundle of bread or his car trunk was vandalized.

 

Very happy whose wife’s body was just checked by fretful fingers, who was threatened to be beaten but was spared a beating, or by death or by kidnapping but these threats never materialized.

 

Very happy who was warned to vacate his house and obeyed gladly.  Very happy who was just fired from a job on confessional basis but survived a civil war.

 

Terribly lucky that you were kidnapped or made prisoner and returned safe and sound to your family.

 

Terribly lucky that you were estimated of any value for prisoner exchange, or because you were utterly worthless to waste a bullet in your head.

 

Terribly lucky that a bomb went off or a car explosion spared you of shrapnel.

Awfully lucky that you kept your property intact by bribing the appropriate leader.

Awfully lucky that only one of the members of your family was injured.

 

How lucky you were that a family lived in your vacated property and kept it decently maintained.

 

How lucky that you were out with your family when a missile hit your home.

 

How lucky that you found someone to whisk you out of a dangerous zone or you were a foreign national and were shipped out safely with your compatriots in identity paper.

 

You should have been grateful that you were allowed to be handed the body of a relative and that you managed to give him a proper burial.

 

How courageous you were when you demanded to know the name of the killer.

 

You must have been one of the rare courageous men to have just asked that you personal rights for freedom be respected, that embezzlements by militias are not part of human rights.

 

Thank your God that you escaped alive with an intact passport and a current visa, or valuable document to your properties, of cherished photos and souvenirs of those who died to safeguard “freedom, honor, and self autonomy”.

 

You have to be thankful a thousand times that you survived to re-experience another civil was as a meek sheep.

 

(Fuck it all; there are no grounds to be happy or thankful to have survived a civil war where no party even won the war!  With no winner there is no renewal)