Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘ignorant on the mechanism of sex

Autobiography: On Sex,  (chapter 17)

Before I decided to get circumcised at the age of 27, while studying in the USA, I do not recall that I masturbated or even had a wet dream.  I did not masturbate, or knew how. 

Years later, I had the opportunity to patronize nude clubs in the USA, where girls danced totally naked, with poles and no pole-support. And even then, I cannot remember that I masturbated: I didn’t know how it was done?

It is while visiting nude clubs that I purchased my first box of cigarette to fit in the ambiance. I told how I lost my “virginity” in a lengthy story “Raines is my initiator, or she isn’t”. 

The first time a woman induced me to perform intercourse in the USA was a failure: the skin of my penis had retracted and I was in pain for two days before a physician covered the head of my penis  with the retracted skin and the pain vanished. The first physician was a woman and she transferred me to a male physician for a “hands down practice session”

The physician tried patiently to teach me how to retract the skin and cover it again, and that I should practice this exercise at least twice a day. 

I had no theoretical ideas how to make intercourse or how babies come to the world until I was 17.  My sex initiation in the realm of knowledge was done during a specific course in private religious high school in Lebanon: It was the class of “seconde”, first secondary year.  I learned the mechanism, but I cannot be sure that I would be able to locate the appropriate entrance if physically tested, sort of lab applied session?

It is obvious that sex was never discussed at home. Frankly, there was no conversation or explicit communication, period.  Every member in the family had to fend for himself and obtain answers to his curious mind, if it existed, somewhere else, which is to say nobody else. Virtual imagination was king, aided by books and overhearing of conversations. We were living in a metropolis, but practically the South Pole would not have been that specially ideal in sex isolation and comprehension.

I might have been very ignorant on the mechanism of sex, but my curiosity about discovering the female body came as early as 13 years of age. You know, tits, round shapes, artistic forms…?  I never missed an adequate opportunity to peep through a door hole, and I loved to touch female bodies, but reciprocity were lacking. 

How can normal sexuality develop when all my schooling years were done in no mixed schools?  I think that it is normal that homosexuality or lesbianism develop in such environment, at least out of habit, if not hereditary. 

I liked boys who were hairless and I would have liked to touch what looked as a smooth skin:  I was too hairy and was kind of older than my classmates, of at least two years older, though I looked tinier and shorter. 

I felt humiliated to show my hairy body during sport classes.




December 2021

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