Posts Tagged ‘knits webs of small networks’
She Says, He Says
Posted October 16, 2008
on:- In: Essays | Poems Mine | sex/ love/seduction | women
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She Says, He Says (1998)
1. All right, communication research
Has gone a long way to resolving
A most frustrating, untenable balance
Between the sexes.
He says, she says can be explained
By the connection/status bipolar between genders:
She is seeking connection and support in conversation.
She knits webs of small networks
Of friends; small but very close.
He is jockeying for status: Who’s one up
And who’s one down in the hierarchy.
He likes to speak to captive audiences.
2. She likes to convey images of dependence,
Of understanding, of relating to others.
He likes to provide information and solutions.
He likes to project images if independence
And freedom of choices.
He is most able in telling stories.
They say the difference in perspectives is
Acquired learning.
It seems true.
Let me dare advance that
This acquired learning is
Premeditated to compensate for the
Genetic superiority of women.
3. Men have always known,
From the beginning of time,
Who is the master and the rock.
How women manage to do it
Was the mystery.
Men knew it
But refused to acknowledge it.
The more men were sure of that knowledge
The angrier they were,
The more restricting the rules,
The stiffer the punishments.
4. Why women are superior to men
Is a taboo subject.
I am telling you:
Women think long-term and act short.
She sets her goal and works steadfastly
Laying one brick at a time,
Building the most intricate plan.
5. Skip the research and save your hard earned money.
Tell me:
Why men feel awkward, dazed and puzzled
When their peers heap on them glories
Of dreams come true?
False assumptions,
False glories.
Dreams are too long-term to be true to men.
Man has been saying over and over again that
Behind a great man is a woman.
Planning for him, for her goal.
6. All right, we have been studying the mechanisms
Of conversation between women, men
And mixed men and women groups.
The connection/status dimension
Explains beautifully most of the misinterpretations
In communication between the sexes.
Sure, no one is going to change
His communication behavior because
He does know how it works.
Sure, no one is going to change
His planning behavior simply because
He does now know the basics.
7. Say “I love you” more than once.
Say “I like you” more often.
True or false, just say it.
Who cares for more grieves,
When an extra moment of happiness is handy?
It is but one life that we live.
Yes, we are all seeking interdependence
In different shades and flavors.