Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘lack of control

Can you control fear? Can fear of failure be controlled and managed

Fear, change, uncertainty, future, courage, perseverance… These words seem to be intricately connected: You select one of these terms and the rest follow in the same article…

Do you think that the source of most of our fear is a feeling of lack of control?

In her book “Reading Lolita in Tehran”, Azar Nafisi wrote: “During the day, I did not have time to think about all the dead relatives and friends…I was not afraid of following the (Iran) Revolutionary Committees…I argued with the Revolutionary Guards…and I felt brave. I paid the heavy price at night: I had insomnia, I internalized the fear, I roamed the house, read and fell asleep with my glasses on…”

How do you face your fears?

Do you prepare for future failures so you won’t end up caught in the snare of fear. Sort of Preparation prevents reaction?

People are used to say: “Focus on what you control; identify, understand and prepare for what you can’t…”

“One way to combat our fears is to hit them head-on.” Soren Kaplan in Leapfrogging: Harnessing the Power of Surprise for Business Breakthroughs,”.

On exploring your biggest possible failure, Dan Rockwell enumerated the following:

  1. What does your most disastrous scenario look like?
  2. What impact would this worst-case scenario have on individuals, teams, the organization, customers, …
  3. What would be the short-term impact on you personally? Long-term impact?
  4. What would you personally feel or experience?
  5. How could you rebound from this failure?
  6. What would you do next?
  7. In what way could the failure be used as a stepping-stone?

Step back after exploring:

  1. What insights have you gained?
  2. What new alternatives or options opened up?
  3. Did any of your assumptions or feelings about failure change?

Divide a sheet of paper down the middle. Create a bulleted list of items you control and things you cannot control. Explore, evaluate, prioritize, and consider the impact of each item.

Can you focusing on positive vision rather than possible failures? (I have lived 4 years with not a nickel in my pocket and no health insurance coverage, and I survived happily and healthily. Is that a foolish experiment?)

Do you think that exploring possible failures before they occur helps free you from the snare of fearing failure? (Got to experiment with your life and witness how far you can control your fear. I discovered that the hardest roadblock is “How can I safeguard my parents and relatives in cases of emergencies…?”)

Okay, you are handicapped with fear and the unknown…Can you Inspire Courage in Others, even when grappling with fear?

For example:

“People are not afraid of change, they are afraid of uncertainty…” Joe Tye. Create points of certainty…

“In the realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world all rests on perseverance.” Goethe

“It is physiologically impossible to be frightened when you are laughing: Lighten up and laugh” Joe Tye. (We have to discriminate among kinds of laughter: hysteric, freakish, good nature, under drugs…depending on the level of “lighten up”)

“You will never do anything in this world without courage” Aristotle

“If people are more afraid of the boss than they are of the competition, the competition is certain to win.” Joe Tye

Courage and fear always dwell together. Courage doesn’t eliminate fear, it answers it. Acknowledge the fears of others.

Success is persistently taking the next step. Taking the next step takes courage.

The real power of our courage and perseverance is that they inspire courage and perseverance in others.

Give fear a name and it becomes just a problem; it’s easier to solve problems than it is to conquer fear

Prepare for what you fear. Hurricane Sandy is on it’s way. You’ve been preparing.  You purchased gasoline and tested your generator, for example.

Courage translated fear into preparation…” (Dan Rockwell)

Why must you move forward? Face uncertainty by focusing on purpose…

Note 1: A 1: 1.5 minutes interview by Dan Rockwell with Joe Tye: Changing Your Metaphors.

Note 2: Inspired by two posts of Dan Rockwell




June 2023

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