Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘love

362.  Legitimate, Temporary, and Necessary; (June 5, 2009)

 

363.  Sex Tales (June 6, 2009)

 

364.  I have a position: I am voting today; (June 7, 2009)

 

365.  Love Tales; (June 8, 2009)

 

366.  Bi-Weekly Report (#25) on Lebanon and the Middle East; (June 8, 2009)

 

367.  Seduction Tales; (June 9, 2009)

 

368.  The culprits:  vegetative Ariel Sharon and Hubeika; (June 11, 2009)

 

369.  Reactions to Seduction, Love, and Sex Tales; (June 12, 2009)

 

370.  Traditional Wedding; (June 13, 2009)

 

371.  Arab Sex Art: Star of the Internet; (June 14, 2009)

 

 

372.  Right to Return: for the Palestinian refugees; (June 15, 2009)

 

373.  Elections’ Aftermath: Iran and Lebanon; (June 15, 2009)

 

374.  Uncontested Palestinian Leader: late Yasser Arafat (Abu 3Ammar); June 15, 2009

 

375.  Mystics and Sufis; (June 16, 2009

 

376.  Headdress; (June 16, 2009)

Reactions to Seduction, Love, and Sex Tales (June 12, 2009)

 

            In the last three months I had decided that my posts would not exceed 800 words.  Consequently, my posts must not be read as academic essays intended to cover all aspects of any theme or in any reasonable depth.  Many times, as a few posts cover many aspect of the same theme then I combine them in a somewhat lengthy essay. In general I try to exaggerate to shock readers into personal reflection.  I leave it to the reader to figure out the many perspectives and angles for comprehending a theme. I even challenge readers with direct and categorical positions to generate comments that may resume discussion and enrich dialogue. Most of the time this tactic is successful and I always factors in comments of the types of immature curses and semi sentences.

 

            For example I receive a well elaborate comment on my post “Sex Tales”.  It goes “I was really interested in reading “sex tales”. I read this post many times and I felt your “anger” in your writing. What I don’t agree, even if I am not a man, is when you say that men don’t have pleasure and that the sexual act is “only” a tension relief. I agree that the sexual act is a natural need but you cannot compare it to pissing and shitting, even when we’re not talking about love, because sex is something that you can control, it is related to desire and pleasure, it is something you share.

            How can you generalize by telling that “Man is not endowed to experience sexual pleasures […]”? Did you ever discuss this issue with other men? In my opinion you cannot compare sex to masturbation, they are fundamentally different.

            You say that men need practice; I say that women need practice too. Practice is important for both genders in order to know their bodies, to know how to give pleasure and how to receive pleasure. Do you think that for women sex is “easier” or pleasure is “automatic”? Don’t you think that women also care for men’s pleasure and that they enjoy giving as much as getting?

             I looked for an explanation for your anger and I may have found two:

First, you said concerning men’s hands “one is more sensitive, functional, and defter than the other and not for manual work but for relieving your emotional anger and passions” maybe is it this emotional anger that is reflected in your writing?

Second, maybe it is a manifestation of a tendency for misogyny? After all, the way we see the world is always influenced by our personal experiences.”

 

            That was a wonderful comment and I tend to agree on most points. It gave me the opportunity to elaborate my position.  I am replying gladly and with excitement. Personally, I am sure that women need far more practice than men.  Mind you that I am not talking about seduction but the nitty gritty sex part of foreplay and intercourse.  After all it is the woman who is in the receiving end of sexual pleasure.  If the woman is not in control of the entire exercise then she had a failing grade and needs to practice more to accede to the next level.  Man must be the passive partner and as long as man is the active one then the woman has received a failing grade.

            No, we cannot compare sex to masturbation unless the woman partner is frequently getting lousy grades.  Then, it is far better for man to get in control of his “destiny” or change sexual partners.  It is the woman responsibility to retain her sex partner and discover what make her man tick.  Hint: occasionally, man wants to feel in charge; then it is your call “wisie”.

 

I get very tired doing the control part because it drains most of the nervous energy and requires complete focus to pleasure my partner while I never get an affirmative “Thank you”.  I maintain that sexual intercourse is an exit alternative for man to relieve his anxieties and angers until the wise woman partner extracts a genuine “Thank you” appreciation from her man after the game is over. Then, sex can shift to a qualitative level: it is for the man to expect a confirming “thank you” note from the woman partner.  Then we can say that sex is ranked as quality time; a serious fulfilling and relaxing exercise.  It is the phase when both partners have done their homework and learned what give pleasure to both sides.

 

            In general, I discovered that I like more the company of women than man: there are challenges at every corner until routine sets in. Then it is time for a change seeking the company of men.  As for misogyny and such terminologies I tend to avoid them: generalizations are intrinsically false.  Every person, in both genders, has a combination of characters; some tend to behave more frequently misogyny than others. What count is not what we say but rather how we act and behave. 

            Anyway, I am still into introspection and this exercise might last a life long. 

 

Note 1: I stumbled on a post offering advices for good sex.  Man likes seductive, intelligent, and confident woman. Women should behave lady like on the street and exhibit her bitchy vocabulary and lexicon in bed.  Woman should control burping and farting to the bare minimum: do you know anyone inclined to fuck his beer drinking buddy?  Woman should prove that she feels fine in her body and not constantly worried of the next esthetic surgery.  Woman should refrain from biting the penis or any canine scare tactics; likewise, man should refrain from savaging the clitoris and bruising it. Both genders should not trash talk about their acquaintances: this is a sure proof of low self esteem and a strong message that danger is around the bend.

 

Note 2: I linked three posts on seduction, love and sex for those interested in following the conversation.

https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/seduction-tales/

https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2009/06/09/love-tales/

https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2009/06/07/sex-tales/

Seduction Tales (June 9, 2009)

Are you an avid reader?  A few reminders of what you have read on seduction might be touching.

The French lady writer George Sand seduced the Venetian physician Pagello who was treating her sickly lover the poet Alfred de Musset by writing to him a series of questions such as:

“Would you be a master or a support?”

“Would you consol me of the suffering before I got to know you?”

“Would you understand why I am sad?”

“Do you know compassion, patience, and friendship?”

“Do you know that women have a soul even though you were raised to believe the contrary?”

“Would I be your companion or your slave?”

“Do you desire me or love me?”

“When you satisfy your passional urges would you thank me?”

“When I pleasure you would you tell me?”

“Do you know the soul desire that no human caress can numb or tire you?”

“When your lover sleeps in your arms do you keep awake gazing at her, praying and crying?”

“Does sex exhaust the moron in you or you are driven to divine ecstasy?”

“Does your soul survive to your body when you leave the bosom of your lover?”

The French novelist Stendhal fell in love with the divorced lady Mathilda.  He sent her letters such as:

“I know myself. I love you for the rest of my life.  Whatever you will do can never change the idea of you that stroke my soul; the idea of happiness of being loved by you; the idea that I have contempt for all that gave me pleasure without you.

I need you.  I am thirsty for you. I will give the rest of my life to have the luxury of talking with you of indifferent matters for just a quarter of an hour. I am leaving you to be present with you more frequently, to dare speak with you leisurely with al the energy and passion that devour me.”

Another one of Stendhal’s seductive letters reads:

“I have courage only when far from you. Close to you I am timid, like a boy as words expires on his lips; I just cannot resist but contemplating and admiring you.

Do I have to be reduced to an inferior state and as flat?  Love me Mathilda but never despise me. That agony is way above my forces.  I am afraid to displease you.”

Seduction is a patient and persistent act of proving generosity, attention to details in the loved one, and being “present” most of the time which is the best publicity for reminding the loved one that she can never feel lonely if she cares.

Seduction is a cultural phenomenon; warm and colorful environmental climate help a lot.

Did you visit the puritanical USA New England region or the northern cold part of Europe?  You might realize that seducing is an exceptionally rare occurrence there; people do not dare look at you frankly for fear of “losing control of the self” and of being caught unprepared.

Now visit Latin America, the non –Arab Africa, or the Philippines and you discover the dancing gait of people, the colorful dresses, and the generous genuine smiles.  The entire posture of the body, the gesture, and the gazing are seductive.

Seductive cultures show openness, readiness to please people they cross and meet, and openness for opinions and discussions; they act as if they are used to caressing and extending compassion.

It is such a fresh air to mix with cultured seduction.

Learn to seduce; abuse of seduction and let people feel appreciated, wanted, and desirable.

The simple generosity for pleasing others is the characteristic of genuine and confident people.

To seduce is to kill reality and to metamorphose into lure“.

Islam never neglected seduction; seducing in Islam used to be a culture of refinement; the process of knowing and learning how to seduce used to be part and parcel of constant discovering and an attitude of good behavior.

Love: Women in Islam (Part 9, April 26, 2009)

 

In the Arabic language there are over 60 terms to express love; from the simple inclination (mawada) to total transport (mutayyam) to violent passion (3ichk) to the agony in love (sababa). 

You have: I love you (bahibik, gharami, 3youni, albi, 7ayati…).

There are as many terms for love as there are names for snow in the Eskimo language

Not an aspect, a detail, a characteristic, a symptom, kind, state, and remedy of love were not studied in the Arabic language and in Islam.  Medieval Europe experienced the troubadour love poems or courteous poems via the Arab poetry of Andalusia in southern Spain.

Love has never been a taboo neither in the pre-Islamic period nor in Islam; love has never been an aversion

People and poets who died out of love were considered high in the tribal communities and martyrs in Islam.  That is why even when a love affair was denied because of tribal interest, the tribes cried the death of a love partner who suffered tribal rejection or his love mate.

Islam encourages marriage as constituting half the religious duties and magnifies the necessity that both partners reach sexual pleasure through the art of foreplay and taking time for the female to feel happy and ready for intercourse before entering.  In marriage, all exotic love-making and positions are permitted as long as both partners are willing. 

Being naked and contemplating nakedness is part of the game. For example Aicha, the beloved wife of the prophet said: “I would take a joint bath with the Prophet after a state of grand impurity”

Women would complain to the judge that her mate prefers exclusively one position to others, particularly the anus intercourse, and she would turn over her sandals (babouj) for the judge to comprehend her complaint.  In such cases of wives unsatisfied sexually then they have the right to divorce.

Islam had created licit love-making via temporary contracts called “zawaj al mut3a” (marriage of pleasure) or the marriage of the traveler “nika7 al misyar or moussafer”.  These temporary arrangements are true contracts with all the required clauses of financial retribution and obligations.

Adultery is ground for divorce but no where in the Koran does the wife or the husband is subjected to be lapidated (put to death by throwing stones at). 

In a previous post, “Women in Islam: Divorce“, I have stated the mechanism and type of divorce.  You may refer to post “Women in Islam: Essay”

Moslem women writers are making a comeback in emancipation literature. For example, in French you have Nedjma (Star), a pseudonym, publishing “The Almond” (L’Amande) of the crude sexual education of a Moroccan girl, and “The crossing of the senses” (La Traversee des sens); you have Salwa al Neimi with “The Proof by Honey”; you have Rajaa Alsanea with “The Daughters (or girls) of Riyadh”; you have Zaynab Hifni with “I will cry no more” and “Women at the Equator”

 

Note: It is no secret that man is at huge disadvantaged in matter of obtaining pleasure in sexual encounters.  Women must have known that man is doing his best to convey his attachment and appreciation by pleasuring his woman partner; all that he receives is tension relief after working so hard for his mate to get satisfaction.

Whether a man is having intercourse the procreation type or through anus is of no difference to him in pleasure. If in a few cultures man prefers women with large hips and round behind it is not because of a sign of higher fertility or easier pregnancy but because the naked body of the bent over woman is far lovelier and magnificent than in other positions.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

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