Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Kids dropping all their toys to rush see clowns

The old Tempelhofer Airport ( not in this picture- as it is not allowed to document there) is this old huge, not functional airport where refugees wait and wait for their non existent plane.

Then we came with music and bubbles, we sang and danced.

One little boy saw us from far, he dropped down his scooter and whatever he had in his hand, his facial expression changed drastically, – open sparkly eyes, open mouth, open hands- and he ran to us as fast as he could and as happy as he could be.

The heavy dark atmosphere turned into a light happy one with kids and adults playing and laughing.

We sang a happy birthday to Aziz, a man who tried to commit suicide last week because waiting for his wife to make it to Europe and waiting for his kid to find the money for his cancer treatment and waiting in an empty airport not being to do anything about it have made life unbearable.

Aziz smiled and thanked us humbly.

These little interactions and moments are what make life worth living.
Oh and I actually jumped over this fence smile emoticon

ClownMe In, Miriam Brenner, Mayra Stergiou ‪#‎berlin‬ ‪#‎germany‬ See More

Sabine Choucair's photo.
Tonnie Ch shared Lebanon: One Story at a Time‘s photo.
 Mental illness in Lebanon? You feel anxiety?
Lebanon: One Story at a Time's photo. 

“Nour; Starstuff.
We’re in Hamra (Beirut). It’s where my anxiety started, and it’s been an uphill battle ever since.

The thing about mental illness in Lebanon is that no one wants to talk about it.

We’re in a country that still calls cancer “that disease”. Of course it’s going to be less accepting of mental illness.

This society has a stiff-upper-lip approach to it: “Get over it,” “it’s all in your head,” and “you’re overreacting” are just a few examples of what I heard through my struggle to stay sane.

Even my parents, the most open-minded people I know, didn’t want to believe I had anxiety.

Eventually, it was my dad who told me to get professional help. My therapist is two streets down from here, at AUBMC.

The psychiatry department is on the third floor, between two cancer center floors.

The first time I walked in I was terrified, because it hit me, seeing those two cancer departments with the psychiatry department: this is very real, very physical. People still don’t see that.

The thing I learn every time I walked into the building is that I’m not alone in this. I want people struggling through the same thing and are too scared to tell anybody to know that it’s okay. Get out there and get help. You deserve it. You deserve not to feel like this.

What really helped me through this was watching Cosmos with Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

I cried my anxiety out, watching where all this mass of body I have came from. With anxiety, everything is so scary and loud.

When I saw how simple yet insanely intricate my structure is, the noise in my head seemed to calm down: I am carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, and miracle. I come from stars and each hand I have comes from a different star. That’s incredible.

I learned that when I threw my dark thoughts against such a darker and vast canvas of outer space, they disappeared. Space is limited with anxiety and you’re never sure you belong anywhere, but looking up at the universe reminds me that I’m freer than I think I am and wherever I look, I’m home.

The Little Dipper tattoo on my wrist is a constant reminder that my thoughts don’t stand a chance. I am starstuff, the product of millions and millions of years of hostile universe coming together.

It’s a reminder of a quote that makes me feel badass: “You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be afraid of?”

Note: No adult person is to be wasted, handicapped, maimed or killed. Seeing how fragile and totally useless we are born and how dedicated the entire community has been for decades to watch me be able to return a service to it, is mind boggling in determination, steadfastness, pain, suffering and courage.




March 2023

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