Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘Never a reincarnation of same

“You sexually harassed me, and my older sister too…” (fiction story, Chapter 4)

The gang of Mani, Baptiste, and Tenderness came down for lunch at 2 pm.

I happened to be there, working on editing a few of my articles.

I stepped into the kitchen and without warning Mani immediately uttered:

“So I heard that you had a fight with my youngest sister last night… That was wrong”

If you are interested in what Mani was referring to, do read first

I replied: “Yes, I had to defend myself from physical aggressions. But no physical harms ensued. Your sister suffers from hormones imbalance…”

Mani retorted: “Self defense on a young girl of 15 is not acceptable. I understand how much you suffered in your life, but reacting physically is not permissible…”

I replied: “Self defense is admissible in all cases. Your sister should have learned by now that initiating a physical attack on people is wrong. If you have trained your sister to behave adequately and stopped cajoling her everytime she throws a tantrum, we would not have had this conversation…”

Mani said: “You are never to respond physically to my sister attacks, even in self defense. We have suffered you enough and in the event of recurrence, you’ll have to deal with me…”

I have no idea how he might deal with me, and I didn’t care for Mani’s soft outburst that dripped of poison and condescension.

I replied: “I will always react physically to anyone who attacks me physically. Someone in this family has to point to the correct attitude. And I tell you that you don’t know your sister: She would have spat in my face if I didn’t confront her physically…”

Baptiste, the hairy tall new comer in the extended family, and about to go bald in a couple of years, interjected in the discussion and blurted out with effusion and anger: “You were wrong. Period. That you disagree with everyone around this table is a good reason for voicing an ultimatum…”

From the onset, I had this strong feeling that this meeting was programmed and rehearsed, and the three members of the gang were intent on vomiting their venom.

I had no idea this Baptiste applied this brand of “democracy”: If you disagree from the vast majority (only 3 people around the table), you are the bad sheep to be kicked in the behind… Baptiste was the least of my concerns and I refused to reply to his “opinion”.

I always strongly suspected Baptiste to be this unidirectional kind of people, idiotically clinging to a restricted set of value system… Occasionally camouflaged under a kind and smiling face.

I know that mother likes Baptiste very much and appreciate his dedication to her married granddaughter. Mother and Baptiste easily laugh to one another quips and he is very respectful to mother, and I have no complaints in that respect…  and I am comfortable with this bonding.

Except that Baptiste cannot fool me: When he has an opinion about another person (a perception), nothing can alter his position…

And here Radyia (Contented) barged in, furious and ready to scream her anger, a pent up anger that never finds a release valve.

Radyia gave a short break to her sweet ass from the couch, sitting for hours watching stored TV series on her laptop. Radyia is now about 18, but looking younger for her small stature, flat chested, and seemingly skinny when dress the way she does.

Radyia repeated the same statements and arguments of her younger sister, as if her sister learned exactly how to reply from Radyia.

Radyia went a step further and screamed: “You sexually harassed me, and my older sister too. You should never be allowed in this house…” (It is an apartment that dad gave them).

Radyia ejaculation didn’t turn out to be a bombshell to the assembled party. As if they had coordinated their roles in that comical scene.

Their mother Concita was wiping the dust in the dinning room, and her hand movements got faster and frantic. As if she was wondering: “Is this family evolving into a mad and unchecked entity?”

I asked Radyia for explanation and what she recalls when she was 13 of age, But Baptiste whisked her away, back to her comfortable couch.

Mani resumed with a mocking smile: “Not two but three sisters. And you were lucky: My dad contemplated to take you to court many years ago, and desisted…”

Now, that was news to me.

They are 4 sisters, and I wondered who was spared and who is cultivating a front page story. And I said: “Name the sisters and tell me what happened and what you considered sexual harassment…”

Mani said: “They are not here now, and I am not in a position to speak on their behaves…” (And why he was so confident in his statement?)

Mani taunted himself to be very careful not to be biased in his discussions and be fair by hearing both parties… Not in this case, and not today.

Claiming sexual harassment is a lost case, anyway you try to explain or respond. Best way is to communicate in writing.

When a girl of 13, not pretty, skinny, short and flat chested is curious about the transformation in her physical and emotional states, she never lacks of tricks to implicitly let you make a move.

Maybe there are very few males who are perceptive and hot enough to comprehend the first  female signals.  In my case, many signals are needed and done in many ways to attract my attention.

Frankly, it is hard to pinpoint what was going on, how the process got started and evolved. The only moment I can recall is the first time I touch tits of a receptive girl.

Radyia was 13 then, and she is 18 now, and she is as flat chested, as small and as not pretty as ever.

No matter how she keeps with the latest fashion and try hard to look sexy and attractive. No boy ever fell for her, yet.

Radyia used to come down in her transparent night gown to see me. Understandable. It is very hot here in summertime, and no air conditioned facilities.

Her descents got frequent and with a twist every time: variations in attraction tactics…

I finally got it and felt pity for her unstable emotional situation.

What could I do with this girl and how could I handle such a situation?

Three clear alternatives to ponder upon:

1. You refrain from reacting and making a move, telling her bullshit story that she is beautiful and attractive… but this is not right. You cannot fool a girl this way: Children are better than adult in recognizing what you are trying to convey and avoid. And she will be thinking: “I am not beautiful and I am not attractive, and you are full of shit…”. And this girl will hate you and despise you for the way you treated her with condescension, an idiot girl, a non-entity..

2. You respond harshly that her attitude is indecent, that only sluts do these things… The message is the same, though not as bad as the previous alternative. The girl will stop treating you as friend to rely upon in times of needs…

3. A third alternative is to say nothing, touch the breasts, kiss the neck. Going no further…

I touched her breast a little.

The next afternoon she was back, for more. What the heck: Soon her older brothers will be playing with her tits for “fun”, and Radyia will be screaming, playfully. As she should.

The troubles come later, as a repeat is expected and the process gets complicated: Holding hands is fine for a week…

And one party gets tired of the game. And one partner learns to get detached.

I had written a poem on what happened and let Radyia read it. She did read it reluctantly. I asked her: “What is your opinion”. She replied: “This post is not correct”.

I wanted to reedit the poem to include her side of the story, but Radyia refused. I assumed that she lacked the verbal ability to express her feelings.

And the girl grows up and forgets the situational conditions: It is not possible that she had made the move toward this elderly creature…

Radyia’s bitterness has no bound, and her humorless acquired condition is totally abject.

She couldn’t lure any boy, even a brainless one, to fall for her. Not a single boy, None. No matter how she dressed in the latest fashion and tried to attract boys.

It is a lost cause:

If you refrain from interfering with family affairs, the extended family circle, and your experience taught you not to engage in family troubles, you are blamed for detachment behavior, heartless feelings, and lack of compassion, of loyalty… for the general good

If you occasionally get engaged in family matters, you are designated as the convenient subject to load all the blame on your shoulders… for immersing yourself into issues that are None of your “business”. All the troubles are heaped on your head…

And these grown kids have forgotten that they relied on me to take them to parks, zoos, biking by the rivers, hiking, swimming, skiing, going to movies… and giving rides to schools and universities, a teaching how to drive…

And I am barely suffered to be among these people

What the heck. We grow up in stages, and we have to deal with each stage as we best knew how.

How sexual harassment is identified?

From a personal perspective, do you think that facts counts when the perception of a sexual harassment persists?

Do circumstantial evidences count if the perception of a sexual harassment lingers?

Facts can be forgotten, and the circumstances of events can be easily distorted, and what remains, as immovable as boulders, are the perception we had retained, correct or wrong.

If None of the conditions apply:

1. No forced sexual harassment

2. No power trip or status symbol was imposed

3. No physical harm was done

4. One party didn’t undress at all

5. No intercourse was contemplated or done

6. No further pressures were exercised for obtaining any kinds of “sex” demand…

7. When one partner said “NO”, the other party obeyed…

Do you think that in this case, claiming sexual harassment applies?

What conditions should be satisfied to classify an occurrence as sexual harassment case?

It sounds rational to believe that a person is not about to forget his “first sexual harassment experience“, and will build all kinds of myths around that experience… and try to almost totally forget who was the initiator (implicitly or explicitly) and what exactly happened…

I tend to believe that our memories are fresher and better with subsequent sex occurrences: What did we know the first time around to remember?

Except later impressions? Particularly if you are very young and inexperienced in the sex matters?

This perception of a sexual harassment encounter is to weight heavier than any other factors when someone claims:” You sexually harassed me”. Supposing that the person is seriously convinced that such an occurrence took place, and not a result of pent up anger.

Perception looms larger than court proceedings or the display of evidences, even pictures and videos.

Yet, do you feel that you should be considered taken hostage just because the other party feels harmed?

Would apologizing for the form of any help to you or the other party?

Would any verbal discussion do any substantial good to relieve the anxiety of both parties?

What has been impressed for years is not about to be erased or substantially altered by a few discussions or other means of communication…

It would be good to forget that such an event and talk have taken place, and go on with your life. It won’t.

Isn’t life more important than a single person hanging on to a perception or an event?

This life of the Absurd, going to great length to inflicting pain and suffering on the others and on ourselves, expecting nothing but more of the absurdities from the living.

It is so absurd that someone must exists after life to make sense of life. Though Never a reincarnation of the same.




November 2021

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