Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘nurturing

This unique son phenomena in China

The consequences of the new unique generation of Chinese

The One child policy of China that was adopted more than 3 decades ago.

Parents opted to abort the girl and keep the son (A ratio of 110/90 males to girls

The current policy of allowing for 2 children is not going to make much of a difference.

Probably, the parents will continue to abort the second girl in preference for a second son

And what are the known characteristics and attitudes of a unique child?

Selfish, not good at sharing, tyrannical, capricious, self-centered, secretive.

These characters are mostly of a nurturing epigenetic nature.

Many of these descriptive characters are shared by children, but Not the entire set.

Soon there will be one and a half billion of Chinese on earth.
The current second role will soon be reward as a first global role in world status.

The best hope might turn out to be our worst nightmare.
For a short time yet the Chinese phenomenon will keep touching us just by ricochet.

Soon, very soon the new Chinese generation will be out of his secretive nature-Discreet, to touch us.
One and a half billion of unique children (males or females).

And I’m not unique to thinking of the coming calamity…
(Inspired from the French post of Jamil Berry)

It’s all nurturing: We can Raise a Non-materialistic Child

But I cannot vouch for the adult person in his new environment

Yes, the cost of living is on the up and the last thing you need is your child chanting “I want an iPhone! I want an iPhone!”

When I look around me and see the way my friends are dealing with their children, I know I’ve done something right.

Here are a few tips to ensure that your kids grow up understanding the value of money and knowing that they don’t need it to be happy!

Jeanine Fakhoury and Patsy Z shared this link Beirut.com.

 

1. Start young. Let them understand the concept of money at a very early age.

When my son was two, he asked for one of those really expensive cars kids can ride. At the time, it cost around $300. I could’ve stepped out and bought it for him but instead, I explained to him that he had to “save” for it. So, every few days or so, we’d add a few dollars to his piggy bank. Nine months later, he happily took his savings to the toy store and bought his first car!

While it was me who paid for it, I had the chance to teach him a lesson about saving and patience, and it really paid off.

He appreciated that car and took care of it as long as he could fit in it.

2. Practice what you preach. If you want your kids to understand the value of money, don’t go throwing it around like confetti.

At the same time, don’t display signs of envy and jealousy if your neighbor gets a new car or your sister remodeled her home.

Kids are essentially sponges, and will mimic your attitude towards money.

3. Spend time with your kids. I know so many parents that leave their kids with the nanny and make up for their absence by buying them all sorts of expensive gadgets.

My son was being bullied at school once by a boy that picked on him every chance he could get while also constantly showing off iPads, iPhones, and tons of other gadgets.

I explained to my son that something is not right in the boy’s home and if you get close enough, you will figure it out.

A couple of weeks later, and after lots of efforts on my son’s part, my son told me that the boy lived with his nanny and grandmother since his parents were constantly traveling. Mystery solved.

4. Get them involved in charity work. Let your kids know that there are many people less fortunate than them.

If you can’t take them to volunteer at an NGO, make them go through their clothes and toys for things to give away to the needy. This instills a sense of fortune in them as well as a responsibility towards their community.

Every season, I see my little girl trying on all of her clothes to know what he should give away and once she’s done, she always tells me how great she feels that someone out there will have new clothes that she was otherwise just stocking up in her closet.


5. Give them cash. While this may seem counterintuitive, it really does work. Give your kids money.

It could be pocket money, a weekly allowance, or even a payment for chores well done. Then, teach them how to spend and save this money. At the same time, you will be teaching them the concept of “giving” as you pass on cash to them. I’ve set up small bank accounts for my children and nothing makes me happier than when one of them hands me a 20,000LL note and says “Mom, please deposit this for me today”. This means they have a plan and they are saving for it.

And here is your Project Happiness. Stop complaining

Patsy Z shared Project Happiness‘s photo.

1. When did you stop dancing?
2. When did you stop singing?
3. When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
4. When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

Project Happiness's photo.

“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions:

1. When did you stop dancing?

2. When did you stop singing?

3. When did you stop being enchanted by stories?

4. When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experienced the loss of soul.

Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.”

~ The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Healer, Teacher and Visionar

Note: It is our lack in talents in any one of these artistic domains such as singing, dancing, storytelling, painting, composing music, acting… that  bring us down quickly.

Early nurturing in artistic inclination is the best remedy.

‪#‎SundaySoul‬

How’s your Talent for enjoying life? Your right to pursue Happiness?

A few times I’m asked: What kinds of music you like to listen to? My answer is invariably: I don’t know.

It’s not that I don’t listen to music, all kinds of music.

I love documentaries on music bands and the history of the various kinds of music, including classical music and composers.

I tend to hop, dance and clap when I hear a music that I like.

The problem is, if the environment (people and surrounding) is not conducive to talking and listening to music, then I lack the talent to pick up and register what the environment is sending as signals, hints and rhythms.

I do lack this imaginative and sensitive sort of memory that is triggered by music.

Are you hungry? Yes. What do you like to eat? My answer is: I don’t know. I’m Not picky and can eat anything you order…

It’s not that I have no tasty buds or that I love to eat and I tried all kinds of cuisines, West and East.

The problem is that I lack the talent to retrieve from my taste bud memory what I love to eat at the time of the question.

Are you thirsty? Yes. What do you like to drink? My answer is: I don’t know. I can drink anything you order. You don’t have to fret on my account…

The problem is that I lack the talent to retrieve my alcohol-induced memory for what I feel like drinking now.

This is not restricted to alcoholic drinks.

Do you want tea, coffee, Nescafe, milk… I don’t know. Don’t bother on my account. I drink what you feel like drinking.

Probably my mental capacity feels lazy to invest the necessary effort to give a definitive answer that is appropriate to the environment.

I used to blame conditions, situations, circumstances … for my deficiency in enjoying life. I got it all wrong.

Don’t get me wrong: I like to be entertained, dance, go to concerts, have adventures….

The problem is that I had to come to term that the problem is Me.

I don’t have it this talent to enjoy life.

How you were brought up and your living conditions play a mighty catalyst in increasing the quality of your joy for living, but they are not the main factors.

The main factor is: Have you got the talent to enjoy life? Yes? No?

I feel hurt when I get to know people who are in the same boat as me: they lack this talent to enjoy life.

It has nothing to do with genders, wealth, color of skin, cultural differences…

It is strictly an individual quality, a mix of characteristics and talents that distinguish you from the rest of the lame and sad people.

You can be born in a filthy rich family and not know how to enjoy life.

You can be born in a family living in a wretched neighbourhood, and yet you know how to enjoy your life to the hilt.

I had a varied childhood in conditions and situations, with plenty of varied opportunities to learn how to enjoy life: And yet, my childhood passed me by.

I had a youth with multiple fantastic opportunities to learn how to enjoy my life, and youth passed me by.

Opportunities add dimensions to the quality of life enjoyment, if you got the talent.

What is most essential is: Have you been trained as a child to enjoy life, all the artistic facets that enrich the quality of life enjoyment?

Proper Nurturing  at an early age is the key factor to set you free from the lot of the lame ands sad people.

You hear a wife saying of her husband: He is a contented man. He never complains or demand of much any thing… He maybe a jovial person in his demeanor, but deep inside he still has no clue what to demand.

You hear a mother saying: I had no trouble raising this child… This child never learned what it is to enjoy life in order to ask and demand for more of what he is experiencing.

And I cannot help wondering:

People who were born in an environment (family and culture) that stump the talent for enjoying life, who were robbed from this nurturing zest for life, have no reason to live.

And the family has no right to give them birth: Abort all of them.

This situation is totally unfair.

This is the worst kind of crimes against human rights: Murdering the right of pursuit to happiness in the bud.

Have you got the talent to enjoy life? Yes? No?

Have you lately used Darwin’s name in Vain?

It is survival of the Gene stupid, not your own life…

There are growing number of research pointing to the qualitative altering of genes as people change their daily behaviors.  Sort of nurturing changes the default genes of acquired habits and customs.

These results bring to the forefront deductive ideas:

1. Genes are but structured system of acquired customs and habits that we use in our daily transactions and behaviors, acquired over generations…

2. If a group of people assemble and get organized to change their habits and customs, this gathering of people will basically tend to alter their genes, creating a new species of mankind

3. The species of mankind that is resuming the current consumption civilization, which defies the sustainability of earth and nature, is ultimately doomed, and replaced by

4. The new breed who takes the attitude of never challenging nature, of consuming what nature is able to produce, of maintaining a healthy environment… this new species of mankind could survive…

These ideas and deductions were inspired by this short post in Reine Organized Chaos.

 posted this July 24, 2013:

“When you ask some people why they act in ‘selfish’ ways, why they are out to fulfill their own self-interest, many might attribute it to a ‘survival of the fittest’ strategy.

I’ve been reading a book on evolutionary biology, an extension of Darwin’s theories, and the biggest insight so far is the following:

It isn’t about the survival of the fittest individual but survival of the fittest GENE.

What does this imply?

That maybe a few selfless acts on the individual level might be just what you need for that particular gene to survive!

Selfless animals that act upon the gene causing them to scream out might suffer on an individual level when a predator finds them, but that gene called out a warning to other animals in the vicinity, inevitably creating a proliferation of that particular gene through saving all those lives.

We, the human species should start wondering whether the way we’ve misunderstood ‘survival of the fittest’ might be causing us to act in contrast to actual evolutionary biology.

And whether we’re slowly decreasing the number of genes that can allow us to actually survive”.

Note 1: Low and high altitude mankind species https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/two-species-of-mankind-sorted-out-not-long-ago/

Note2:  Reine Azzi is an instructor who teaches at a Lebanese university! Best way to remain passionately challenged!  She has the licensee, curator, and host of TEDxLAU which adds so much excitement to my life!


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

July 2020
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