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The Phoenician god El |
Posted by: adonis49 on: July 14, 2015
Omar Sharif (Michel Shalhoub) passed away, so did all the Lawrence of fucking Saudi Arabia
While Lawrence of Arabia fans the world over mourned the passing of actor Omar Sharif earlier this week, at least one of his former acquaintances might be spitting on his grave. That is, if he weren’t already dead himself.
Late Edward Said (Palestinian/USA) was classmates with Omar Sharif in Egypt, back when Sharif, whose parents were Syrian and Lebanese, was still called Michel Shalhoub.
As Edward Said recounts in his memoir Out of Place, both attended the elite Victoria College in Cairo, run by the Brits, which was something of an anachronism in Egypt at that time.
Outside the school’s walls, the British colonial mandate was on its way out; they struggled to dominate the Suez Canal against Egyptian guerilla fighters.
Inside the school, non-British students learned British history, spoke English only, and were divided into “houses… which further inculcated and naturalized the ideology of empire,” Said wrote.
For Said, it was an early encounter with the intellectual and social themes he would later dissect in Orientalism.
The British teachers looked down on the Arab students, banned Arabic, and beat them for any minor offense. But young Said defied authority wherever he could – he spoke Arabic with his classmates purely to piss the teachers off and, like a sullen teen, gave ironic answers when called on, “an attitude I regarded as a form of resistance to the British.”
The school was about de-Arabizing the Arabs, and Said was having none of it.
By contrast, you have Said’s classmate Omar Sharif – then Michel Shalhoub. Said describes him as “notorious for his stylish brilliance and his equally stylish and inventive coercive dealings with the smaller boys.” Translation: young Omar Sharif was a well-dressed psychopath.
Sharif was your prototypical brownnoser.
On free dress days, he wore a white carnation in his lapel, while the rest of his classmates were dressed like the scruffy boys they were.
Said describes one episode in which he and another classmate teased Sharif for his clothing, and in response, Sharif nearly broke the classmate’s arm. Why was he doing this, the classmate cried out?
“Because, frankly, I enjoy it,” young Sharif says, like a real psychopath.
Sharif wasn’t just a well-dressed bully, he also sucked up to authority.
When a contingent of important British officials came, he gave what Said describes as a majorly ass-kissing speech about the school’s fantastic British education and how lucky the boys were to be graced by the officials present.
Translation: he was the worst.
To Said, Sharif embodied the school’s “entrenched authoritarianism” – a traitor to his fellow Arabs, and one of the worst things about imperialism – a process Said would later dissect in his most famous work Orientalism.
Not only was the British ideology produced by the ruling classes, it was then reproduced and internalized by the likes of Sharif.
No wonder, then, that Shalhoub later changed his name to something that “Occidentals” would have no trouble remembering, and played the star Arab in one of the most famously Orientalist films of the 20th century, Lawrence of Arabia.
Said says that as a Palestinian man growing up in Egypt following the Nakba, he himself never really fit in wherever he went.
However, he ultimately concludes that it was this constantly feeling “out of place” that inspired his own work. “With so many dissonances in my life I have learned actually to prefer being not quite right and out of place.”
In his memoir, Edward Said describes one episode in which he and another classmate teased Sharif for his clothing, and in response, Sharif nearly broke the classmate’s arm.
“Why was he doing this?” the classmate cried out.
Fresh discovery: He is of Lebanese Origin your God
The investigation was carried out by the Lebanese Centre for the Discovery of Celebrities of Lebanese Origin, (LCDCLO), one of the most trusted organisations in the world in the field of tracing celebrities of Lebanese origin. The Beirut-based organisation employed a team of researchers over a period of five years and they were able to prove beyond doubt that God is indeed of Lebanese origin.
Although not much is known of God’s early days there were clues in religious texts to His background. For example the name of God in Phoenician is ‘El’ which is a Phoenician word and therefore a strong indication that He was Phoenician.
The Arabic name for God is ‘Allah’ which is part of the common Lebanese expression ‘inshallah’, hinting strongly at a connection between the two. Even in English, the word God sounds like the word God in the Lebanese dialect popular among teenagers in coastal cities.
Furthermore, historical research revealed that Eden is most likely to be the Lebanese town of Ehden, which explains why the townsfolk refer to God as one of them. The link is so strong that it is widely expected that famous Lebanese writer Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of the influential book The Black Swan, would certainly endorse it. Taleb has emerged as a unique thinker in recent years and his authority is unparalleled.
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The beautiful town of Ehden near the sky |
On a less scientific level but no less authoritative, it is widely known that Lebanon has unmatched natural beauty, as if God wanted to give it that little bit extra to celebrate his place of origin. Lebanon’s scenic nature, mountains and sea are famed across the world, a fact that is proven by how many times it places on the top of polls to determine which countries are the most beautiful.
Another crucial piece of evidence is a bit of Lebanese folklore that is popular in traditional songs which goes ‘Lebanon is a piece of the sky’. Historians hired by the LCDCLO confirmed that this is proof of the connection between God and Lebanon, it has survived in the language for thousands of years as evidence of the connection between the Divine Being and his place of origin.
The Israeli lobby tried its best to discredit these important findings, arguing that in fact God clearly came from the land of Israel, as stated in the Bible which is the oldest monotheistic text. However a famous Lebanese poet refuted the Israeli claims and argued that since the mountains of Lebanon are the tallest in the region, they would have been God’s natural choice.
The news was met with massive celebrations in Lebanon, helping lift the gloomy mood in the country. Many people stated that they were not surprised because they always expected this to be the case, citing Lebanon’s divine beauty as clear proof.
Many said their desire to emigrate was primarily because they didn’t deserve to live in God’s own country.
The mood of celebration was slightly soured however by clashes among Lebanese of different factions as to what the real sect of God is. In certain parts of the country the clashes descended into armed skirmishes in which light weapons were used.
The upside however is only the real people of God could feel so passionately about Him.
Note: Adam and Eve lived in Heaven Lebanon. Even now, Lebanese cannot enjoy electricity, running water, institutions designed to serve the citizens, potable water, an elected parliament or able to elect a President to its Republic.
– See more at: http://www.karlremarks.com/2014/11/god-is-of-lebanese-origin.html#sthash.jswbF1OS.dpuf