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Sex, Violence and New York City Ads

In Benjamin Lowy blog:

This blog is part of a project borne during my travels as a professional photojournalist.

For years, I have worked with bulky digital cameras, always mindful of the technical maneuvers from setting the shutter speed and aperture to editing and toning on a computer screen.

In the last few years I have discovered that my iPhone has allowed me to capture scenes without feeling that I am once again on the job.

To “point and shoot” has been a liberating experience. It has allowed me to rediscover the excitement of seeing imperfections and happy accidents rendered through the lens of my handheld device.

I am able to create imagery, edit, and transmit all the images straight to this blog, creating a modern and efficient workflow for the most inefficient of pursuits – self expression.

All Images are copyrighted @Benjamin Lowy

New York City, NY | March 4, 2014<br /><br /> Contrasty.

New York City, NY | March 4, 2014

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Sex needs a new metaphor

No more sex as a competition

For some reason, says educator Al Vernacchio, the metaphors for talking about sex in the US all come from baseball — scoring, getting to first base, etc.

The problem is, this frames sex as a competition, with a winner and a loser. Instead, he suggests a new metaphor, one that’s more about shared pleasure, discussion and agreement, fulfillment and enjoyment. Let’s talk about … pizza.

 

Al Vernacchio. Sexuality educator
In his 12th-grade Sexuality and Society class, Al Vernacchio speaks honestly and positively about human sexuality. Full bio
I’d like to talk to you today about a whole new way to think about sexual activity and sexuality education.
If you talk to someone today in America about sexual activity, you’ll find pretty soon you’re not just talking about sexual activity. You’re also talking about baseball.
Because baseball is the dominant cultural metaphor that Americans use to think about and talk about sexual activity, and we know that because there’s all this language in English that seems to be talking about baseball but that’s really talking about sexual activity.
So, for example, you can be a pitcher or a catcher, and that corresponds to whether you perform a sexual act or receive a sexual act. Of course, there are the bases, which refer to specific sexual activities that happen in a very specific order, ultimately resulting in scoring a run or hitting a home run, which is usually having vaginal intercourse to the point of orgasm, at least for the guy. (Goal, goal say soccer fans)
You can strike out, which means you don’t get to have any sexual activity. And if you’re a benchwarmer, you might be a virgin or somebody who for whatever reason isn’t in the game, maybe because of your age or because of your ability or because of your skillset.
A bat’s a penis, and a nappy dugout is a vulva, or a vagina. A glove or a catcher’s mitt is a condom. A switch-hitter is a bisexual person, and we gay and lesbian folks play for the other team.
And then there’s this one: if there’s grass on the field, play ball.” And that usually refers to if a young person, specifically often a young woman, is old enough to have pubic hair, she’s old enough to have sex with.
This baseball model is incredibly problematic. It’s sexist. It’s heterosexist. It’s competitive. It’s goal-directed. And it can’t result in healthy sexuality developing in young people or in adults.
So we need a new model. I’m here today to offer you that new model. And it’s based on pizza.
Now pizza is something that is universally understood and that most people associate with a positive experience. So let’s do this.
Let’s take baseball and pizza and compare it when talking about three aspects of sexual activity: the trigger for sexual activity, what happens during sexual activity, and the expected outcome of sexual activity.
So when do you play baseball? You play baseball when it’s baseball season and when there’s a game on the schedule. It’s not exactly your choice. So if it’s prom night or a wedding night or at a party or if our parents aren’t home, hey, it’s just batter up.
Can you imagine saying to your coach, “Uh, I’m not really feeling it today, I think I’ll sit this game out.” That’s just not the way it happens. And when you get together to play baseball, immediately you’re with two opposing teams, one playing offense, one playing defense, somebody’s trying to move deeper into the field. That’s usually a sign to the boy.
Somebody’s trying to defend people moving into the field. That’s often given to the girl. It’s competitive. We’re not playing with each other. We’re playing against each other. And when you show up to play baseball, nobody needs to talk about what we’re going to do or how this baseball game might be good for us. Everybody knows the rules.
You just take your position and play the game. But when do you have pizza? Well, you have pizza when you’re hungry for pizza. It starts with an internal sense, an internal desire, or a need. “Huh. I could go for some pizza.” (Laughter)
And because it’s an internal desire, we actually have some sense of control over that. I could decide that I’m hungry but know that it’s not a great time to eat. And then when we get together with someone for pizza, we’re not competing with them, we’re looking for an experience that both of us will share that’s satisfying for both of us, and when you get together for pizza with somebody, what’s the first thing you do?
You talk about it. You talk about what you want. You talk about what you like. You may even negotiate it. “How do you feel about pepperoni?” (Laughter) “Not so much, I’m kind of a mushroom guy myself.” “Well, maybe we can go half and half.” And even if you’ve had pizza with somebody for a very long time, don’t you still say things like, “Should we get the usual?” (Laughter) “Or maybe something a little more adventurous?”
Okay, so when you’re playing baseball, so if we talk about during sexual activity, when you’re playing baseball, you’re just supposed to round the bases in the proper order one at a time. You can’t hit the ball and run to right field. That doesn’t work. And you also can’t get to second base and say, “I like it here. I’m going to stay here.” No.
And with baseball,  you need specific equipment and a specific skill set. Not everybody can play baseball. It’s pretty exclusive
But what about pizza? When we’re trying to figure out what’s good for pizza, isn’t it all about what’s our pleasure? There are a million different kinds of pizza. There’s a million different toppings. There’s a million different ways to eat pizza. And none of them are wrong.
They’re different. And in this case, difference is good, because that’s going to increase the chance that we’re having a satisfying experience. And lastly, what’s the expected outcome of baseball? Well, in baseball, you play to win. You score as many runs as you can. There’s always a winner in baseball, and that means there’s always a loser in baseball.
But what about pizza? Well, in pizza, we’re not really — there’s no winning. How do you win pizza? You don’t. But you do look for, “Are we satisfied?” And sometimes that can be different amounts over different times or with different people or on different days. And we get to decide when we feel satisfied.
If we’re still hungry, we might have some more. If you eat too much, though, you just feel gross. (Laughter) So what if we could take this pizza model and overlay it on top of sexuality education?
A lot of sexuality education that happens today is so influenced by the baseball model, and it sets up education that can’t help but produce unhealthy sexuality in young people. And those young people become older people.
if we could create sexuality education that was more like pizza, we could create education that invites people to think about their own desires, to make deliberate decisions about what they want, to talk about it with their partners, and to ultimately look for not some external outcome but for what feels satisfying, and we get to decide that.
You may have noticed in the baseball and pizza comparison, under the baseball, it’s all commands. They’re all exclamation points. But under the pizza model, they’re questions. And who gets to answer those questions? You do. I do.
So remember, when we’re thinking about sexuality education and sexual activity, baseball, you’re out. Pizza is the way to think about healthy, satisfying sexual activity, and good, comprehensive sexuality education. Thank you very much for your time.

All Time top posts

I selected the posts that registered over 2,000 hits since Sept 18, 2008. Since then, I posted so far 4,900 articles.

Note that my articles on Sex and Nude are rare, but these key words draw the most browsing.

December 12, 2014,

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Google Glass Sex: You must have a few questions? 

Two articles commenting on this Glass Sex.

ADAM CLARK ESTES posted on GIZMODO this Jan. 20, 2014

There’s a Google Glass Sex App Now. We Have Some Questions.

There's a Google Glass Sex App Now. We Have Some Questions.1

Porn and Google Glass Are Natural Bedfellows

It’s been obvious from the very beginning hat the ultimate Google Glass experience would somehow involve hot, sweaty sex. And now, thanks to an upcoming app, the star of that hot, sweaty Sexperience can be you!

Sex with Google Glass is exactly what it sounds like: a Google Glass app for sexy sex-havers.

More specifically, it enables you to do all kinds of things while banging. You can film the carnal action from both your and your partner’s points-of-view and watch it right after—but only right after, since the app deletes the video after 5 hours.

You can control your sex soundtrack. You can even ask Google which position you should try next.

On that note, we have so many questions about Sex with Glass:

  1. How much planning does Sex with Glass require?
  2. Are accessories encouraged?
  3. Which ones?
  4. Is it possible to install apps sexily as a couple?
  5. When is the best time to put on Glass? Before or after undressing?
  6. Should Glass remain on your head at all times? Or can you try selfie mode?
  7. How does one incorporate Glass into foreplay?
  8. Is it possible to undress sexily while wearing Glass?
  9. Is it possible to do anything sexily while wearing Glass?
  10. How do turn-by-turn directions work?
  11. Which custom head gestures are the most fun?
  12. Does tethering a device to your smartphone during sex count as bondage play?
  13. Does Glass understand safe words?
  14. What exactly happens when you yell, “OK Glass, pull out?” (Which is an actual command in the app.)
  15. Do you have to listen to the same music soundtrack as your partner (climax) and can you pick a personal track?
  16. Why do you have to watch your Glass sex video immediately after the sex? Wouldn’t you want to save that for a rainy day?
  17. Why would anybody actually want to see their partner’s point-of-view while having sex?
  18. Isn’t that incredibly weird?
  19. What if you get a text from your mom during sex?
  20. What if you think about the possibility of getting a text from your mom during sex?

Well, that’s a lot to think about!

The makers of Sex with Glass say that you can get an iPhone app preview while the company is developing the Glass app. However, when we surrendered our email address in exchange for a download link, the download link never arrived. So who knows, our questions may never actually be answered. But hey, maybe it’s better that way.

Special thanks to Eric Limer who contributed a few of his own questions about Sex with Glass.

The other articles posted in The Huffington Post:

Google Glass Sex App Lets You Watch, Record Yourself In The Act

 Posted in The Huffington Post this Jan.21/2014

It was only a matter of time before the voyeuristic world of Google Glass collided with sex.

“Sex with Google Glass,” a new app for the wearable technology, lets you watch — and record — yourself having sex from all angles and even “see what your partner can see,” the app’s website claims.

The app operates on command and works like this: Just say, “OK Glass, it’s time,” and Glass will stream to you and your partner what you each can see; when you’re ready to finish just say, “OK Glass, pull out.”

Ah, modern romance.

“We are trying to change the way you experience something personal. It’s about seeing two perspectives, at the same time. Seamlessly,” Sherif Maktabi, one of the app’s developers and a product design student at London’s Central Saint Martins art college, told The Huffington Post via email.

The idea germinated at the Google Glass and Wearables Hackathon in London in November 2013.

Developers there had one day with the smart glasses to create applications, so Maktabi and his friends asked themselves, “How can we make sex more awesome with Google Glass?”

Their multi-view streaming creation can be synced up to a smart lamp or home device to control lighting, music and even lessons from the Kama Sutra — for that command just say, “OK glass, give me ideas.”

In case you are particularly proud of your performance, the app can also record a video of your horizontal hustle. No need to worry about your homemade sex tape getting leaked: The app will automatically delete your footage after five hours.

“Some people find what we do repulsive,” Maktabi told The Guardian. “But a lot of other people — and I am basing this from the emails we are getting online — really desire to try this.”

The developers plan to launch a free iPhone version, called “Glance,” in early February ahead of the Google Glass release later this year.

“It’s the closest thing to experiencing ‘Sex with Glass’ on iPhone. We are learning on the fly. It’s still an experiment, and we will be publishing more work as we go. You can sign up on Glassandsex.com to know as soon as it’s out,” Maktabi told HuffPost.

While Google has held a strictly anti-porn and anti-nudity stance for Glass, prohibiting users from searching for or watching porn on the device, that apparently doesn’t mean you can’t create your own.

Best Longest Sex Engagement

I was having a sweet wet night dream, and my semi-consciousness kicked in and took over directing the porno section of the movie.

Obviously, I was the main male actor (I later received the Oscar for best passive performance ever) and she deserved the Oscar of best energetic female actress, with flying colors.  Being a great passive partner in sex is a valuable recognition in heterosexual engagement.

I was facing her back in bed.  I approached my right knee close to her tight behind and kind of barely nudged her flesh. I retained my breath.  Heat spread down my leg:  I guess my imagination excited the appropriate “heat hormones” in me.

Slowly but surely, I felt that external muscle pressures were exerted on my knees.  The cadence of these perceptible pressures told me that my imagination had no role in these events. I refrained from any movement:  She was leading the game and I had learned the best role expected from me.

She flexed her right leg up and I gently grabbed her hot and small right foot.  I kept her foot, this most valuable prize ever and massaged it softly without attempting to tickle her.

She inserted her foot between my legs and moved it swiftly upward.  She squeezed gently on my Junior (nicknamed Bush).  Junior was as erect as the Royal Guard in front of Buckingham Palace entrance.  I could imagine her wide grin, making faces, and skewering her eyes looking straight on Royal Junior when we visited London.

She held softly Junior and she didn’t need to rub it:  She just let the warmth of her hand excite my great imagination.  She knew that I prefer that she inserts Junior herself and thus, save me much exacerbation and futile, wasteful early ejection.

I had first to be totally sure that I am IN:  I had previous lousy experiences in that confidence part.  After I am IN, I could play dead and nothing would matter in my contribution.

She is the exquisite operations researcher in maximizing her pleasure:  She is expert in optimizing the proper position, rhythm, location, duration, timing, breath cadence, touching gestures, whispering mantra of “I love you’, you are the best, the most handsome, the sexiest,…

She knows not to use her lovely and sharp nails during love-making, not even in touching:  You don’t want to have a threatening attitude.

We reached climax.  Obviously, I warned her to get ready and quick.  She is the ultimate professional. All my senses were blackened out and I lived in a total void for a few seconds. Nothing really functions.  This is real death.  When I emerged to the world of the living, my breathing was like a steam train arriving to station.

I love looking at her lovely face after intercourse:  She glows and radiates contentment and total relaxation.  I can face any danger at this moment.

As long as she doesn’t demand an encore, I can sleep the sleep of the caves.

As long as she doesn’t start conversation, this night is a success story.

I wish I was a woman in such a debate:  This scene would have been more believable, more pleasurable, and not requiring so much imaginative perverse prowess.

Bad Boy Bubby

I saw a movie early this morning around 4 am on ARTE channel. I am under the impression it is a German film.

Bubby is a 35 year-old big kid with balding head in the front.  Buddy lived confined in a room all these years.  Bubby’s mother Flo played him this game that the air outside is poisonous and deadly.

Thus, Flo wore a gas mask before locking the door as she goes to work for the day; she orders Bubby to “stay still and quiet”.  Bubby would sit still all day long; he is wetting himself until his mother comes back.

Flo would curse Bubby for getting dirty and then she would wash a Bubby totally nude; then Flo would wash herself.  Flo would then make love to Bubby; Buddy is the passive and Flo is always on top.

Flo must have trained well Bubby on the best sex activities that pleased and satisfied her: Bubby would massage slowly Flo’s vast bosom, and Flo would say: “Yes, my gentle and good Bubby.”

Once, Bubby asked his mother how it feels to lacking air and Flo grabbed his neck from behind and shut close Bubby’s nostrils.  Bubby tried suffocating his cat with a plastic wrap and succeeded.  Bubby is now holding and carrying the dead cat wherever he goes. A crucifix is the only pendent in the room and Flo frequently threatens Bubby that God sees everything.

Flo’s lover, (a faked protestant priest with a white collar), shows up after 35 years of absence and this couple resumed where they left off.  Bubby is forgotten and the couple spends most of their days outside getting drunk and having good time.  Bubby is ordered out of the room/apartment, wearing the gas mask, so that the lovers get on with the love business.

The lover teaches Bubby to call him Popy (Daddy).  Bubby is an excellent kid actor: he retains sentences and the correct way to imitate people.  Bubby is getting jealous and wrecks the room.

Bubby asphixiates the two lovers at night with plastic wrap; he carries his dead cat and ventured out for the first time in his life.  Bubby meets juveniles in a sport red car and memorized their curses.

Bubby meets with a choral of religious group chanting outside and he joins them; he is invited for the first time to taste pizza and he loved pizza best.  The youngest female of the choral is mounting Bubby in her apartment and loves Bubby’s passive sex act and she starts singing her favorite chant to Jesus.

Bubby is picked up by a rock band and joins in the singing of “Bad Boy Bubby”:  the band comprehended Bubby’s mental limitations and liked his naive and talented acting potentials.

Bubby cannot help but massaging big tits and gets in serious troubles. Once, the group of females knocks Bubby down and kicks him savagely.  Bubby is in jail and he is raped by the warden before being set free with $10 charge.  Bubby returns home saying: “Now I understand momy why you didn’t want me to know the outside world.”

In the morning, Bubby goes out again wearing his “daddy’s” priest garment along with the white collar: Bubby’s new name is “Popy”.  Bubby enters a cathedral and is awestruck by a huge crucifix. He is listening to a rich guy playing the organ alone; the man invites Bubby to his modern and extra clean factory and tell Bubby that God does not exist, that this world cannot be saved but by men… All it takes is that men take on their responsibilities and avoid finding a scapegoat in God for excuses of their bad behaviors.

Buddy gets friendly with a small alley cat and goes out to fetch pizza for the cat.  Bubby meets with the rock band and takes center stage singing everything he had memorized.  The band writes to Buddy their address since Buddy insists on leaving in order to feed and sleep with the kitten.  Bubby chase away a bunch of juvenile delinquents harassing his kitten; the cat is found dead and Bubby is carrying it around.

Assistants to handicapped people meet Bubby holding a dead cat in a public garden; Bubby the kid can understand the handicapped individuals and he is taken to aid communicating with the handicapped people.

Bubby falls in love with the heavy bosomed assistant Angela and the love is returned; Angela washes Bubby and shows him her big tits. Angela stumbles on the address piece of paper of the rock band.  Angela takes Bubby to the band and watches Buddy’s shows and mingles with the audience going crazy with Bubby’s antics.

Bubby is now the leading man of the band since he is the generator of the large audience.  The band has a surprise to Bubby:  two gorgeous blondes are hiding completely nude under the cover of a bed waiting for Bubby. Bubby is not interested with their medium size tits:  they are too small for his desire.

Angela lets Bubby meet her parents for lunch; Angela’s folks belittle their daughter as fat on the ground that “God abhors fat girl.”  Angela cries and Bubby is upset.

That night, Angela’s parents are found dead suffocated with plastic wrap.  Angela is saying to Bubby: “Anyway, they would have died of cancer or poisoned air.”   One of the rock band member makes Bubby promise never to kill again since every religion killed millions in order to have their God up another God: Gods that are fundamentally the same unique God.

Angela is pregnant with a child and Bubby is playing with his kid in the garden: a big kid playing with his kid.  Bubby is happy and totally at peace with his new world.

Sex: an exclusively personal value (Draft); (Jan. 20, 2010)

Let me dispatch the physical aspect to focus on the important matter.  Like pissing, shitting, and sweating, ejaculating is a bodily excretion.

Like shivering for heat equilibrium, ejaculating is a reaction for internal physical chemical equilibrium.

We learn to control pissing and shitting when asleep with no major harms; we might control these exercises during our waking period for short duration.  I doubt that it is recommended to stretch the control freakishness to ejaculation during the dream part of sleep: your subconscious mind might get frustrated in reorganizing your memory and it needs a release mechanism to function properly.

Thus, set aside any guilt feeling when you have sex in dreams, no matter with whom or with which genders.

I will not dwell on the physical consequences of diseases or how to protect from inadvertent occurrences.  I am interested in the value system attached to sex.

I am not insinuating that sex is the primal value in most social value systems, but it is in most systems.  It is our duty to retrieve sex from the other values and give it an exclusive personal value.  This is right because sex is a prime responsibility that is pretty much under individual capabilities to control and manage.

What differentiate intercourse from the other excretion outlets is that it is under your total control during the waking period, and for as long as you wish, with no major physical harmful consequences.

I also differentiate between sex interplay (without intercourse) and the entire sex game.  Sex interplay should always be welcomed between two friends who appreciate company.

The topic is basically related to the intercourse phaseIt is always trouble in any aspect you consider it (though not necessarily in a negative sense).

When two partners need to have intercourse, they should be at the same psychological level emotionally.

No one is nominee to play the physician or psychiatrist or to be in control during the whole physical debate.

Thus, the partners have to be both  emotionally either “sick” (they feel the urge for release) or contended and healthy (they regard sex as the best alternative quality time).

Intercourse bring the domain of the ego into the foregroundEgo is the most tricky characteristic to comprehend, admit its existence in the relationship, and to control and manage its consequences.

It is your entire responsibility to be sensitive enough to recognize the imbalance in emotional status when you decide to have intercourse.

You have to decide: are you both emotionally sick or healthy?  It is your entire responsibility to figure out in what state your partner is complying. Conversation is an excellent start; exposing your concept for healthy intercourse is a must to permit your partner judicious decisions.

If you are past age 30, you are not entitled to bring the issue of subconscious urge for procreation: you have lived long enough for your brain to discriminate among rational thinking, facts, fiction, myths, misunderstanding, disinformation, and human errors.  The psychiatrist will demonstrate whether you are a nut case at this advanced age.

Intercourse, as a game of complex control behavior of others, is the most basic and influential habit that expands to all other control behaviors in our daily routines and schemes.

If we learn to master the control freak behavior in bed, then humanity would have started a giant step toward harmony, compassion, and emotional stability.

Note:  This is a draft: I need your developed opinions and comments.


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adonis49

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