Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘suicide

Tidbits #91

Brainless people? They are still boarding the most hazardous Boeing 737. The latest happened in Indonesia. The plane that cost this companies its worth and has to pay over $2 bn in penalties.

Donald Trump liberated the US of its prestidigitation policies: this century old illusionist propaganda of what the “US should have been” and Not what its society is. Behind the glimmer and glamour, the US society was Not healthy or safe compared to the other developed nations. The US was unable to break out of its apartheid and racist ideology, an ideology that impregnated the Nazis in its inception.

Not idle during the day. Not idle at night. Mental and physical activities all day long. I post 2 articles on my blog. Read hard-cover books in 3 languages. Read research articles on Quantum mechanics’ new discoveries, cosmology and Covid family new research. Follow up on world news and local news. Jog on my machine for a single km, walk for an hour in the fresh air, do exercises for the joints… Wash the dishes, do laundry, mop and vacuum. Cook and eat moderately all kinds of food (No restrictions). No excuses for laziness of the mind. No excuses for laziness to caring for the body. Stay healthy. Ma fi malal.

South Korea women are increasingly commiting suicide: 40% increase in these lockdowns due to firing the non-essential and precarious work-force and held mostly by women.

The FBI is warning that many State Capitols might be potential targets for the Trump-mob insurrectors.

Most of the authors of the 25,000 tablets during Ashur Bani Baal empire (Mesopotamia) were women

The East African Rift system made up the western and eastern continental rifts, and stretches from the Afar region of Ethiopia down to Mozambique. It is an active continental rift that began millions of years ago, splitting at 7mm annually. The regular eruption of volcanoes along the rift and new insights into the breakup of continents adds to the belief that the continent may be splitting to form a new ocean.

In the weeks leading up to the internet ban in Uganda by president Yoweri Museveni, 76, who has ruled the East African country since 1986. Museveni government regulators demanded that Google take down several YouTube channels carrying anti-government content (YouTube declined) and Facebook removed mostly pro-government accounts and pages, citing “coordinated inauthentic behavior.” Such defiance from the tech giants was a final straw for Museveni. Musician-turned-opposition-candidate Robert Kyagulanyi (a.k.a. Bobi Wine) garners backing from young Ugandans

Every couple of decades “The new generation grows up to find All Gods are dead, all wars fought, and fake faiths are predominant in society…”

Slow down on your showering routines: Fewer is better for your skin that preserves the beneficial bacteria on the skin and slow down wrinkling process. Better, take a warm bath once a week and do Not rub your skin with harsh sponges. Smelling soapy for good odor does Not mean that you are clean. Many kinds of soap ruin the quality of the skin.

Life Experiences is what we call how much we ignored how real world works

East Africa is home to several visible geographical wonders that have attracted tourists to the area. These include Lake Malawi and Tanzania Lake Tanganyika—respectively, the fourth largest freshwater and the second deepest lakes in the world. It also includes active volcanoes such as the Ol Doinyo Lengai in Tanzania, and the DallaFilla and Erta Ale in Ethiopia.

They kill and then commit suicide? What God or the Devil have to do with these insanities?

Do you believe anyone could blow himself among a crowd unless:

1. He is completely drugged and immune to feelings?

2. He is totally controlled and blown by remote control?

3. He is too scared to be tortured to death if he refrained to obey the order

4. He was brainwashed that the afterlife is a far better alternative than his shitty life on earth

5. Terminally mentally sick

6. Indoctrinated under a belief system that dying as a martyr against an existential enemy is the ultimate of sacrifices

7. Fill in more reasons for blowing oneself with kilos of C4 or TNY

 Jamil Berry posted on FB


Lorsque le tueur se tue pour tuer.
Sa haine de l’autre dépassant son amour de soi
Lorsque plus rien ne différencie, cacophonie et surdité
Lorsque le paradis écarte ses cuisses .
Lorsque le malheur devient sur dimensionné.
Lorsque sa généreuse distribution nous donne notre part et nous colle la part des autres.
Lorsque la mort très gourmande, devient obèse, et ne quitte plus notre table.
Lorsque toutes les questions ont déjà été posées.
Lorsque les rêves deviennent inégaux.
Lorsque les idées deviennent figées.
Lorsque le sentiment se liquéfie , et ne s’exprime plus que par d’effarantes odeurs.
Lorsque penser ne rime qu’avec impuissance.

Alors on reste là .
On demande asile au silence.
On ouvre tous nos livres sacrés aux pages qui parlent du diable.
Elles nous disent toutes ” mais le Bon Dieu veille ”
Seigneur …
Vous m’entendez ?

Curieux comme le temps s’est durci et hier revêt l’accoutrement d’aujourd’hui .
Curieux ce sentiment que j’ai ce matin .

Un deuil d’un genre nouveau qui me pousse à vouloir partager des condoléances pour la perte de personnes inconnues avec d’autres personnes qui me sont tout aussi inconnues .
Curieux ce voyage éclair au Liban , quand c’est la mort qui invite mon imaginaire .
Curieuse cette conception du dieu macro et son bordel de paradis …

( Jamil BERRY )

Note: I just heard of the Paris attacks. Very confusing narration. 15 assailants: 7 suicide bombers, 8 carrying machine guns and spraying people at will. Rock concert? soccer game? Dead climbing by the hours: Around 200 by now. State of emergency in Paris.


“Suicide. Yes? No?” Beware of binary logical traps

Binary questions have nothing to do with real life situation.

The French author Albert Camus once wrote: “The only viable life question is: Suicide. Yes? No?

Would you approach a physically healthy young person who is going through a life existential mental problems and state: Suicide. Yes? No?

Would you exhibit your philosophical talent on a friend suffering from terminal illness and say: In your dire condition, I would ask myself: Suicide. Yes? No?

What do you think would be the reaction of your friend to your sad-assed conversation?

Suppose a friend who has been active in euthanasia issues and aided many terminally people or totally paraplegic individuals in extending practical means for dying comfortably and surrounded with friend said to you: “I am closely familiar with situations like you. If you need my services I’ll be care for all the details for you. I’ll take you by the hand through all the turmoil and procedures…”

Past the first horror reaction, you probably would appreciate greatly this pragmatic help, coming from someone ready to confront the legal problems on your behalf.

In your condition of total detachment, you are unable to focus on anything, much less to make any worthwhile decision. You need a down-to earth friend ready to stay by you and support you in everyday hassles.

Logic has nothing to do with real life, particularly binary logic.

If you are cornered in any discussion to choose between two aspects, avoid it by all means. There is nothing worth gaining from such a discussion.

If you are enamoured with binary logic, at least have the decency to expound on the topic from all its aspects before venturing on a yes or no closure.


“I die as I have lived…”: Who is Nour Merheb?

“I die as I lived, a free spirit, an Anarchist (referring to the American lady who tried several times to commit suicide), owing no allegiance to rulers, heavenly or earthly.  Down with pack leaders, and power to the people, and to each and every human…

Life is a big prison and I intend on vanquishing this condition”.  Nour Merheb (25 year-old Lebanese) sent this message on Facebook at 3:20 am on Sept. 16.

At 4 am, Nour rented a room at a seaside hotel in Amchit.  Shortly after, he donned a plastic bag over his face and opened the Helium canister.  A note was left saying: “Don’t touch the corpse. Call 112 (emergency number)”

This piece of news was published in the Lebanese daily Al Nahar on Thursday Sept. 21

Who is this Nour Merheb?

People who barely knew him said that he had extreme convictions and positions on secular reforms, and civic status.  If these convictions were the reason to committing suicide in hopeless Lebanon, a fundamentally Non-State country, many Lebanese should be committing mass suicide ceremonies instead of group wedding. I should have been among the dead long time ago, with or without a short message.

At 17, Nour organized a sit-in at Jal el Deeb public high school condemning Syria illegal workforce in Lebanon, while Lebanese lacked opportunities for work.  In 2003, Nour was demanding that tuition in public schools be reduced:  It was prohibitive to spend over $450 on fees, books, and miscellaneous expenses when the monthly minimum wage was less than $200.

In the same year, Nour started civil disobedience in front of the ministry of education. Late Rafic Hariri PM ended up calling him personally to desist.

Nour Merheb was a moving event on his own: discussed restlessly, and talked  non-stop to audiences.  He claimed that there are no limits to human mind.  He instituted “Citizen Council” and refused to show up at the military court condemning him to two-month prison term.

I wish more information be forthcoming to comprehend this urge of a youth to go the drastic way.

Why people cannot wait after a good night sleep to committing suicide?

Why not let the brain sort out the difficulties during sleep and offering new perspectives?  Why now, before the voting on the Palestinian State in the UN?

We can live to be a hundred, but it is doubtful that we  might get a handle of the critical questions “Why do we live?”; “What’s the point of so much endurance if the end result is dust to dust?…”: “why all the hassle if earth is bound to disintegrate…?

Rest in peace Nour Merheb: You quit too soon.

There is a long way in the struggle to acquiring a proper citizenship, respect and dignity to all mankind…

Note: I stumbled on a link expanding further on Nour Merheb:  Sept. 23 2011 by Maya Mikdashi

[Nour Merheb, Image from Facebook] [Nour Merheb, Image from Facebook]

On September 16, 2011, Nour Merheb killed himself. Nour did not leave a wife, husband, or children behind. He did not publish any books, did not write opinion pieces for influential newspapers, and did not parade himself in front of television cameras to provide expert opinions. He did not die in a protest facing down an authoritarian regime, he was not killed by an occupier’s bullet, and his death will not inspire a popular uprising in Lebanon. He was not what academics would call an intellectual, nor was he what politicians would claim as a martyr. But it feels wrong to let his death go unmarked, as if his citations, or markings, could only ever be found in books, articles, or news channels.

The night he killed himself, Nour sent a suicide email to his friends and colleagues, writing

“my dear friends, I’m sending this message to explain what I did and ask you to stand up for your and my rights”.

He explained that he wanted his death to be an opportunity to continue a struggle that he had been involved in his entire life; that of reforming the Lebanese State into a modern and secular one.

Nour had been a committed activist since he was 16, and he had collaborated and worked with nearly all of the engaged secular activists that I have met over two years of dissertation research. In his suicide email, Nour urged his friends and fellow activists to fight for his right to be cremated, stating that they should stand up “if my atheism was not respected”. His email ended with a plea and a call to action that situated his suicide within a discourse of “secular activism” in Lebanon:

i don’t want to be buried in a cemetery. i despise christianity and other religions! i don’t want any fucking priest to pray over my body! i want to be burned and thrown away!

You knowing this puts a burden on you to make sure i will not be forced in my death to be a christian…Please fight for my rights and your rights…It has been a pleasure knowing every single one of you, and fighting next to many of you!”

When a citizen dies in Lebanon, she/he is buried according to the traditions of the religious sect they are identified “belonging to” according to the individual civil status (census?) registry, principally the domain of the religious sect. A citizen the State classifies as a “Sunni Muslim” cannot be buried in a coffin, just as a “Maronite Christian” cannot be buried without a priest present because that sectarian and religious classification in the census registry corresponds to a personal status law which outlines proper burial rites.

Neither of them can be cremated, which is what Nour wanted. Almost immediately after his final email circulated, leading secular activists in Lebanon implicitly framed Nour’s suicide and final wishes within a discourse of the 2011 Arab uprisings. They compared his suicide to the thousands protestors who have died trying to overthrow their respective regimes and suggested that the Lebanese state was oppressing Nour even in death by not allowing him to “choose” how, and if, to be buried. For many of Lebanon’s secular activists, Nour’s suicide is a political statement that indexes the inability of the Lebanese state to protect and support the autonomous decisions of its citizens. For many of these activists’ detractors, Nour’s death proved that one of the leading youth voices for change in Lebanon was deranged, amoral, and cowardly.

Throughout his life Nour fought against what he believed was unjust. He produced an astonishing amount of activist campaigns and political writings in the short time he was alive, perhaps because he knew he did not want to live long. He studied law at the extremely competitive Faculty of Law at the Lebanese University. Instead of practicing law, he used his expertise to spread awareness of the Lebanese legal system and the way it functions to a broader public. He could be found at diverse activist meetings (feminist, anti-sectarian, queer, pro-Palestinian, or anti-capitalist) and when found, he would always generously and kindly explain the complexities of how these causes are refracted through Lebanese law.

He built what he called “The Council of Citizens” and the “Human Rights Congress”, two organizations he hoped would empower citizens and non-citizens in Lebanon and embolden them to claim their rights from successive governments. Even in death, he paid attention to the details that are the law. He recorded his suicide in a rented room by the beach in order to prove to investigators that he was alone at the time of his death. He did this because he knew that under Lebanese law, suicides are investigated as homicides until proven otherwise.

When Nour was 17, he began an activist campaign demanding that the fees associated with public schooling in Lebanon be reduced. He argued that because the national minimum wage was (then) $200, the $450 public education fees effectively ensured that many children would not have access to education. That same year, 2003, Nour engaged in long-term civil disobedience in front of the Lebanese Ministry of Education in an attempt to get his message heard. At the time, he received a personal phone call from then-Prime Minister Rafik al Hariri asking him to stop his campaign. Five years later, Nour was brought to trial for allegedly attacking a member of the Lebanese armed forces.

He struggled at the military court for years to prove his innocence, and when he did so, the military justice system closed ranks. The Law demanded that Nour pay compensation to the man in a uniform who had falsely accused him, and had in fact beaten Nour bloody while he was off duty. The ability of military courts to enforce corrupted and violent justice is not a new story in the Arab world, but what Nour did next was unprecedented for Lebanon.

He held several press conferences where he explained, in excruciating and embarrassing detail, the rife corruption of the military courts. He picked his case apart publicly, allowing his life to be an example that others could learn from. He started a website dedicated to exposing the rotting insides of the Lebanese legal system. He announced he would no longer be attending any of the military court hearings concerning his case, adding that the military police knew where he lived and were welcome to come get him. Nour was found guilty of contempt in 2010, sentenced to three months of prison time and ordered to pay a fine. But, either due to the inefficiency of the courts system or to Nour’s success at waging a publicity war and gaining allies, he was never incarcerated.

For the past week, Lebanon’s activist world has been reeling, and mobilizing, from and around Nour’s death. It is understandable that his friends, colleagues and comrades would want to give his decision meaning, to give it felicity in a region twisted in the ecstasies of revolution.

The urge to make death speak is one that every human being has, or will feel, while she is alive. But instead of speculating on how, or if, Nour’s suicide will inspire (or can be made to inspire) others to act with a greater sense of urgency, or if his death will discourage other others from acting, I wanted in these lines to pause on his life.

I wanted to reflect on his life, as he did while he was alive. It is the secret of death to not know why Nour killed himself, sucking on a tube connected to a balloon connected to a bag until he fell asleep. It is the arrogance of the living to believe that we can understand death and hear its clear message. Somewhere in the space between the two, I hope that Nour is in peace.

Quotes by “famous” women?

Katia Chapoutier published a French book on 100 “Unforgivable women“. I am interested in the few quotes of famous women.

Marie Curie (1867-1934): “We never pay attention on what has been done.  We see but what is left to be done.  In life, nothing is to be scared of, everything is to be comprehended.”  Marie received the Nobel Prize in physics in 1903 for discovering two new radioactive elements the polonium and radium.

Isadora Duncan (1877-1927): “Nudity is the truth, the beauty, and the Art.”  She created a new dancing school: bare feet, nude body, an ingenious pedagogical contemporary method that endures.

Rosa Luxemburg (1871-1919 assassinated in Berlin): “Liberty:  It is always the liberty of the one thinking differently”  She was jailed during WWI in Germany for being engaged against the war.  Rosa founded the non-violent Spartacus movement after the war and the movement took to the streets.

Coco Chanel (1883-1971):  “The mode is outmoded, style never! Luxury is not anathema to poverty, but to vulgarity!”

Josephine Baker (1906-1975): “I have two love: My country and Paris.  Since I personify the savage on the scenes, I try my best to be civilized in life.  One day, I realized that I was living in a country (USA) that made be afraid of being black.  I suffocated in the USA.  Many of us left, not because we wanted to leave, but because we could no longer suffer this climate of discrimination.  I felt liberated in Paris”

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941, suicide): “Life is a dream.  It is being awake that kills.  Each one of us has his past locked inside, as old pages of a book he memorized, but close friends only read the title.  There is a solitude between wife and husband, a chasm that we have to learn to respect.  I have this certitude that I am becoming mad: I feel that we will not be capable of suffering one of these terrible periods…I am hearing voices and can no longer take it.  Thus, I am doing what is the proper good thing to doing.”  Have you read “Mrs. Dalloway”, “The Years”…

Anna Freud (1895-1982), daughter of Sigmund Freud: “The first years of life are like the preliminary steps in a chess game arrangement. Those first years guide our orientation, the style of the game.  But, as long as we are not cornered Checkmate, there are still many good fights in the game.  Creative minds always survive bad treatments.”  Anna was also a qualified psychoanalyst and founded a specialised therapeutic clinics for children.

Alexandra David-Neel (1868-1969): “Dogs bark, cats miau:  It is their nature.  My nature is to doing philosophy.  Select a star, never quit it from your eyes.  This star will advance you very far, without pain or feeling fatigued.”  At the age of 18, she rode her bicycle and toured Spain without warning her folks.  Alexandra kept exploring remote countries, with obsession.  She visited Tibet, the Gobi desert, China, Mongolia…and wrote diaries of her adventures.  At the age of 100, Alexandra renew her passport for another long trip.

Louise Brooks (1906-1985): “The grand art of films is not composing facial and body movements, but the movements of the thoughts and soul that are transmitted in intense isolation. There are no other occupations that resemble closely slavery as the career of a movie star.”   She quit acting in 1937.  Have you seen “Loulou”, “A girl in every seaport”…?  She wrote her autobiography “Lulu in Hollywood” in 1982.

Clara Zetkin (1857-1933).  Engles (the early theoretician of communism) said: “In the family, man is the bourgeois; the woman plays the role of the proletariat”.  Zetkin adopted that quote as the basis of her struggle for equal rights to women.

Note: Second part of quotes:

You Have a choice


Do I?  Do I have a choice?

If you want to end your life,

You better have a winner attitude

To succeed.

Which you lack in the first place.

If you fail.

You better know your choices.

Which you don’t.

Locked in a sanatoriums for life.

At our expenses.

Criminal Conditions (February 16, 2009)

            In critical situations of death (suicide or killing others) two main conditions have to exist.  The first basic condition is a physical material one (health problems or financial miseries, or both).  The second complementary condition is an idealistic spiritual motivator (revenge, dignity, freedom, and so forth). 

As the bad material condition persists or worsen,  the spiritual factor develop in focus, in target, and in planning.  Committing a crime is not easy at all:  You need a network of supporting elements; you need the arm, the close friends’ network, the social and cultural environments, and you need the conscious target to be frequently available.  Even those we always label as “crazies” need a support system to carry out their crime.

The spiritual motivator always comes in second in the chronology of a crime, but it quickly takes a life of its own and over shadow the fundamental source of the germinating idea.  There is this special case where the criminal is dirty rich and yet commit crimes; but we always forget to dig a little in his past, before he became rich and how he started his trip to riches, and how he built his support system.

            There are ways to deflect the soaring spiritual emotion.  First, the material condition is altered temporarily, and the second spiritual factor is slowed temporarily on its track because it failed to gel in focus and target.  Second, the material base is not changed but the spiritual motivator is redirected to financial crimes.  Third, the supporting environment and elements are altered in recognition of the danger and a heightened climate of vigilance may deter a criminal plan.

            It really takes a little to change the material condition to deflect the whole process.  The potential criminal can be encouraged to ask or “knock on doors” and is shown the techniques for demanding the basic necessities for physical survival, mainly finding a decent and feasible job. The potential criminal can be treated for his recurring health problems that are not fictitious; though many of these health problems could be a fiction of the imagination for lack of a yearly thorough general examination, caused by a deficient preventive health system to all the citizens.

            It really takes a little to change the supporting environmental/social conditions to deflect a crime in the planning stage.  Removing one of the numerous elements or tools in the supporting network can deviate a criminal act.  Benevolent or charitable support groups can play the catalyst for behavioral change.  A community in a town or district can shoulder many responsibilities when decently funded for social activities.

            It really takes a lot to “unfocus” a planned criminal act, once it gelled in specific targets and means.  They say human is forgetful and that is why he manages to survive all the traumas. The fact is, even when the far advanced “spiritual factor” has been tamed, it only takes a simple cue in this tumultuous life to re-activate a matured plan.

            I might have been describing individual cases, but it easily extends to genocide of whole peoples like the Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank, the Lebanese, the Iraqis, the Afghanistanis, and all the people who have been subjugated to miseries and apartheid policies.  This is a reminder that the West should not be surprised for revenge activities for a long time, activities that would be labeled “terrorists”.

Police inspectors and investigators in criminal acts have mapped a coherent taxonomy for “individual crimes”. Social and human sciences lack coherent taxonomies for social crimes that reporters and media businesses need to know and learn in their coverage of their “bad news”. 

It is up to the audio-visual reporters in the front line to taking seriously their jobs in order for society to be exposed to the fundamentals of criminal behaviors and the many facets and conditions of criminal activities.




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