Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘Tammam Salam

 

Nothing is real in this article?

Has Lebanon turned “Maybe-Afghanistan of the Middle East” status?

Is Beirut emulating Kabul?

Instead of Paris, how about “Lebanon is the Marseille of the Middle East?

During a ceremony held in Habtour Grand Hotel’s main ballroom, Lebanese Prime Minister Tammam Salam accepted a demotion granted by heads of state and romantic authors alike to demote the Republic of Lebanon from “Paris of the Middle East” to “Maybe-Afghanistan of the Middle East” status.


(Image via Yahoo News)

This was seen as a huge hit to morale and status, both class status and that of the Facebook variety, since it compromised the integrity of thousands of Facebook users who had enthusiastically shared the outdated saying.

“This demotion has been a long time coming,” shared one of the attendees, “we have been studying Lebanon’s case very closely and could not in clear conscience continue to consider it the Paris of the Middle East.”

Throughout the conference, there was plenty of talk backstage as to how Lebanon gained this reputation in the first place, many citing foul-play.

“The only thing Lebanon and Paris have in common is long civil wars, that’s it,” exclaimed an anonymous head of state, “With Afghanistan, I can see the similarities: widespread poverty, an increase in religious extremism, and dysfunctional governance hindered by militias. But with Paris, what is the similarity? The wide-spread availability of a crêpe? Unacceptable.”

Good news rang through the ballroom when French President Francois Hollande stated that he would be willing to allow the Lebanese Republic to keep the title, with only a slight adjustment. Lebanon would have to forfeit being likened to Paris, and agree to being associated with a less glamorous and much more ghetto area in France, such as Marseille.

Marseille was recently recognized as the most dangerous city in France, and one of the top ten most dangerous cities in all of Europe. Considering these statistics, we are comfortable with the phrase, “Lebanon is the Marseille of the Middle East,” said Hollande.

“Furthermore, we are investigating claims that Lebanon has never been the Paris of the Middle East and anybody who deems it that has never been to Paris, or the Middle East,” he added.

Disclaimer for the slow and un-funny: This was a satirical blog post. That means: nothing about this article is real.

Not sure, maybe

News stories you might have missed from the past week.

1. Al-Akhbar Editor Walks Out of STL Hearing

(Photo via The Daily Star)

Ibrahi al-Amin, Editor-in-chief of Al-Akhbar newspaper, walked out of his contempt hearing at the Special Tribunal for Lebanon after reading a statement denouncing the STL as a political tool and accusing the court of “oppression,” reported the Daily Star.

Al-Amin stated that he plans to maintain “complete silence” and reject any court appointed defense lawyers.

This hearing is part of an ongoing controversial investigation into the Al-Jadeed and Al-Akhbar media outlets. They are being charged with contempt and obstruction of justice after they published news reports that disclosed details of alleged court witnesses.

2. Lebanese University Teachers Go On Strike

(Photo via Naharnet)

Professors at the Lebanese University announced that they will not be holding classes or exams until they are contracted as full-time employees.

According to Naharnet, a spokesperson of the teachers stated during a protest held Wednesday that the teachers have been protesting and “continuously struggling in the classrooms” since 2008.

The protesters proceeded to call on Prime Minister Tammam Salam to accept contracting them as full-time employees.

3. Syrian Elections Paralyze Beirut Roads

(Photo via The Daily Star)

Beirut was afflicted with major traffic jams Wednesday and Thursday after approximately 80,000 Syrians made their way to the Syrian embassy to cast their ballots for the Syrian Presidential election.

According to the Daily Star newspaper, many complained of the lack of organization as some got trampled by eager voters while others suffered dehydration and fainting spells while waiting in line.

(The election was extended an extra day and way till midnight)

4. Lower Calling-Rate and Data Service Charges Coming

(Photo via NOW Media)

After a meeting with Lebanese mobile service providers Alfa and MTC Touch, Telecommunications Minister Boutros Harb announced they had made agreements to lower calling rate charges.

Beginning on June 1, users will be able to benefit from reduced prices for cellular lines and 3G internet.

5. Lebanon One of Fattest Countries for Young Boys

(Photo via Mama’s Lebanese Kitchen)

Lebanon has the fifth highest percentage of young boys (under 20-years-old) who are obese. The percentage ranges between 13 to 19.1%The findings are according to a recently released global analysis on country-by-country obesity funded by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

According to the same study, 29.8% of Lebanese girls under the age of 20 are “overweight or obese,” while 12.5 are just obese.

(The US is number 1 in obesity, Japan , Brazil and China are among the first five too)

Articles & Media


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

July 2021
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