Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘wedding night


Is it your Wedding Night? What do you think will take place?

According To Married People

Expectations for the wedding night are high. The goal is to have the best sex of your life in the swankiest hotel room you’ve ever stayed in.

All the while managing to keep your eyes open after an exceedingly exhausting day.

But that’s not always how things pan out. Below are 21 first-person accounts of how newlyweds actually spent their very first night as husband and wife, according to Redditors and HuffPost readers.

1. “Having not eaten all day due to stress and nerves, we realized we were STARVING, and ordered Chinese food from the only place open at 4 a.m.

We had more sex while waiting for food, then gorged ourselves on delicious Chinese food and fell asleep watching ‘Wayne’s World.’ It was actually awesome.”

via Giphy

2. “She sat on the floor in front of me. We watched TV while I took the 6,000 hairpins out of her hair. It was a horrible game of pick-up sticks as they were all intertwined. After that we crashed.”

3. “We slept in separate beds! #HotelBookingError!”

4. “We were married at the courthouse by the justice of the peace. We went and had lunch afterwards, a beer, then picked up our 2-year-old and went home.

No fancy wedding, dress, or trip, but I married my best friend and that alone made it the best day of my life.”

5. “It was chaste. My in-laws got us a hotel room for the night in a cutesy inn. The room was directly above theirs.”

6. “We slept then woke up and ate cake naked in bed.”

via Giphy

7. “We got back to the hotel, I carried her across the threshold, and we began to consummate our vows. Moments after we started, there’s a knock at the door. It’s my mom. She then said we should both come down and visit with the family. Not preferred.”

8. “It was nearly 50 years ago, but it was one of the best days of my life. We got married in the morning and after a short reception, we drove to a hotel about halfway to where we were stopping for the honeymoon. We were both sexually inexperienced so it was great fun finding out together.”

9. “Our room had this awesome giant shower with at least 15 different heads and sprayers. We talked about how cool it was for like five minutes then went to bed. My clothes didn’t make it to our hotel room so I had to walk-of-shame in my tux the next morning.”

via Tumblr

10. “Sleeping in my husband’s room at his parents’ house after Chick-fil-A for dinner!”

11. “My wife was literally crying because I was taking too long to undo the 800 buttons on the back of her dress that was now hurting her shoulders too much to wear.

Then she cried as I pulled out the 8,000 hairpins. A few strands of hair and 30 minutes later we attempted sex, both decided we were tired, said ‘f**k it,’ and went to bed cuddling. Love that woman.”

12. “We had been drinking for hours. We ran into our room, had a decent quickie, ran out into the hallway where I declared in a loud, drunken whisper, ‘I don’t have panties on,’ while following our friends to an after-party in another hotel room.

Turns out my mom was behind me and howled with laughter, hugged me and told me I was the perfect daughter. Then she handed me a bottle of whiskey and sent me off with my husband to brew a wicked hangover.”

via Giphy

13. “We eloped without telling anyone and got married in the basement of the courthouse in Harrison, Arkansas. Went home, wife went to her overnight job while I laid on the couch and watched TV.”

14. “We had our hotel room the day before the wedding. Got to the church, did our thing, had a blast at the reception. We leave the reception, my bride tells me her period started at the church. We walked around our favorite store and bought a new board game. We played Monopoly and watched TV on the most comfortable bed we had ever slept on.”

15. “We were exhausted and got to our hotel pretty late. My wife dressed up in some sexy lingerie she got as a gift and we proceeded to crawl into bed. We ate wedding food leftovers packed up for us and had a bottle of champagne and chocolate strawberries while our dog snuggled with us and begged for scraps. It was perfect.”

16. “No sex. Only sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep.”


17. “I was eight-months pregnant when we got married. I fell asleep around 10 p.m. and my husband stayed up watching TV. I expected him to come in after a few hours so we could consummate our marriage. Nope. I woke up around 2:30 a.m. and he was still watching TV. I couldn’t fall back asleep and so I leaned over to grab my iPad to read and that’s when my water broke. Seven hours later we had our son.”

18. “You know how the back of a shampoo bottle says ‘lather, rinse, repeat’? Well it was the adult version of that in our awesome hotel room with a late checkout to catch up on the sleeping part.”

19. “My husband and I were both exhausted, so we crawled into our fancy hotel room bed. About an hour after going to bed, I woke up vomiting and with horrible diarrhea. Something I ate hadn’t settled well. My husband held my hair back as I vomited, only reinforcing the reasons I married him in the first place.”

via Giphy

20. “We had a snow-themed wedding, complete with the guests throwing fake snow at us when we left the reception. It was EVERYWHERE. I couldn’t get it out of my crevices, including ‘down there,’ and I had to take three showers to get it off of me. We also had to call housekeeping to bring us another set of sheets, because it was like sleeping on sand.

21. “We had to stop at the drugstore to buy condoms. I was still in my wedding dress.”

*Some responses have been edited and condensed.


Sex Preparations before wedding night

The first intercourse experience between newly wed couples can have long-lasting repercussions in their life.  In order to avoid negative consequences it is necessary that careful and serious preparations be undertaken, physically first and mentally second, before any wedding.  Most of the wrecked marriages could be pointed out to this fatal night and its lasting sequel.

Millions of couples get wed every day.  The vast majority never experienced intercourse, at least one party in the union.  It might be a surprise to you to learn that most of the couples have not met before the wedding. At best, they have seen an edited picture of the member supposed to live with, for the rest of their life.

Most of the couples are naive in the matter of intercourse.

If only one member in the couple is a stranger to physical sexual activities then, the other member will be entirely helpless in making the “first night” a satisfactory experience, unless he/she is a top “expert” and managed this feat several times before with other naive partners.

If one of the partner is a practised element, the experience will still be unsatisfactory though the damage will be of lesser long-term consequences.  The semi-practiced partner will have the advantage of more self-confidence compared to the totally ignorant partner.  Only practice makes perfect, and this idiom applies essentially to sexual intercourse.

Let us be lucid.  Most of the younger couples are practically physically virgin, even if they read precise accounts of the intercourse process and the technical modus-operandi.

We need to differentiate between the circumcised male and the one with an “intact penis“.

Male with intact penis must necessarily practice the retraction of the excess flesh and the recovering of the sensible head several times a day, days before the wedding night.  If the female partner is not aware of this “affliction” and does not lead her man by holding the penis and inserting it properly, without undue rubbing on pubis hair, then the intercourse will be a total failure and generate pains and unfounded fright for many days.  Nothing comes normally without previous preparations.

Watching pornographic videos exacerbates the early love-making attempts:  the videos seem real “in the flesh” and in action, but they are the farthest from reality and very misleading.

Are there serious educational videos on intercourse for the newly wed?   It would be fantastic if pre-consultation of “how to doing intercourse” be as legal as checking blood type and physical well-being.

Males could have it easier than females since they can hire experienced women to initiate them for in-situ wrapping up experience.

Many couples love the companionship.  The sexual part, and principally the intercourse phase, is the least interesting exercise in their mind, at least for one member of the couple.  It is wise that one in the couple brings up the truth that the sexual zeal is in second or third order, a rare occurrence:  the wrong interpretation is invariably a bad one, and of the most dangerous kind.

For example, am I that disgusting? Am I ugly?  Do I smell terrible? What’s wrong with me?

Well, you got wed and now you are wondering “what should I do next to make this courageous decision a success story?

First principle, and maybe the only one of value for sexual intercourse, is that male is the passive part. The woman should be active and the guiding partner.  Many males wait years before they comprehend that a successful, rewarding, and pleasuring intercourse is to sit back and let the woman do the job right.  Many women know that they are the one getting the most pleasure of that exercise, but they postpone indefinitely getting the courage to teaching their husband the proper course of taking.

Before you resume the rest of this post, I suggest to the brides to imagine the kinds of story they should undertake as they got the principle down.  Now that you have your own story of the proper way to enticing your man to perform intercourse in a very relaxed manner, you may continue reading.

I can figure that most women think that a sexy attire is the first in the list of “must do”.  This line of thinking comes with years of training and ruining the family treasury for clothing.  Sexy wear is an excellent idea but it is mainly a prompt.  The groom and the bride have acquired particular idiosyncracies as to the varieties of sexy cloth.

Once the man comprehends what garment is meant “tonight, there is intercourse!” then the way is clear.  The man knows the objective of the evening, he feels relaxed, and can think of ways to be romantic.  The main hurdle is crossed once the prompt is clearly defined.

Next, the olfaction sense is King in the limbic system. Thus, both parties have to get clean and smelling fresh.  A joint bath is excellent; you rub one another body parts, get relaxed, laugh, and play like kids.  By the by, both parties learn the nice smells that they jointly love; the kind of soaps, the perfume… Once this phase is nailed down, things can progress smoothly.

While wearing the sexy gown and then taking a joint bath or shower, make sure the background music is devoid of any lyrics: You don’t want to clutter your thinking brain; focus on what excite the limbic system.

The sense of touch has a direct route to the limbic system, but it has lost its power for men.  Women are more endowed with the pleasure of touch:  they kept this sense alive from practicing it since childhood.  Men don’t get excited by touch; it is mainly to enhancing his mental imagination.

The only “touchy” part in a male is the closest regions of his anus.  I get generous and add the genital parts, but this is a manner of increasing male’s ego.  I am convinced that when a female touch the genital parts of a man then, it is the imaginative section that is excited; the man think: “Wow, she wants it!” and that is enough for assuring an erection.

Man has to touch his partner everywhere and seriously learn the most efficient exciting parts in his partner:  He does not want to bore his partner with lousy time-waster activities when the partner is ready to enjoy.

I suggest to the women to use boldly the largest skin areas in the hands, feet, and thighs; nail and finger touching is to be avoided: man is different from woman in the touch section of the limbic system.  The sense of touch is basically atrophied in man and it is fundamentally used to exciting the imaginative sections in the brain.

Good luck in your journey of learning the body of your partner:  It might be the initial phase in appreciating companionship and privacy.




March 2023

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