Adonis Diaries

Posts Tagged ‘woman

Handicapped journalist: Roula Helou Not allowed to board MEAirline

I was in another room and heard a young woman sobbing during the evening news. She was saying that she is feeling terribly “humiliated, deeply hurt and her dignity as a person trampled” (majrou7at, mouhaanat…).

“Today, my handicap precedes my humanity. I am sad that my country does not respect or care for my handicapped condition…”

Roula Al Helou said that she has already toured the world on her own and also boarded the MEAirlines many times.

The MEAirline changed her policy and stopped Roula from flying to Egypt this time around.

Why the airline host and supervisor had to taunt Roula and ordered her to walk down the aisle?

Note: The Arabic comment of Roula
نعم اليوم اعاقتي تسبق انسانيتي وذلك في مطار بيروت وتحديدا مع شركة “الميدل ايست” اي الطيران الوطني. الشركة منعتني من السفر لاني مسافرة وحدي ولا استطيع المشي في الطيارة. “انا اليوم حزينة في وطن لا يحترم اعاقتي وبين شركات تحرمنا من استقلاليتنا وحريتنا الفردية وكياننا، عار علي ان ابقى هنا بين بشر لا يحترم انجازاتي ولا يقدر تخطي الذات وقوة شخصيتي”.

وأضافت: انا اليوم اشعر انني ابدأ الكفاح من جديد مع كل الذي بنيته، ليأتي موظف من شركة الميدل ايست ويمنعني ويستفزني ويقول لي: “قومي امشي لشوف”. انا دواليب كرستي اشرف من اي شخص يرى اعاقتي قبل ان يرى انسانيتي..كنت ذاهبة الى القاهرة وانا اليوم مع حقائبي امنع من التساوي بالاخر بسبب مجتمع حقير.. يصنفني كما يريد ويقول ما يريد. انا اليوم اطلب اللجوء على اي بلد يحترم اعاقتي ويعاملني بالتساوي مع اخي الانسان، ادعو الاشخاص المعوقين وجمعيات الاعاقة واصدقائي وزملائي الاعلاميين مؤازرتي لنجعل من هذا التعرض قضية محقة..
رلى الحلو تُمنع من السفر بمفردها بسبب اعاقتها

Our yearning for The Absolute survived Temples and religions?

The French author Cioran said to late famous Argentine author Ernesto Sabato: “We can snuff out almost everything in mankind, except the yearning for The Absolute. This need in man will survive Temples and religions…”  I think that religions were instituted and their sort of temples were beautifully erected since time immemorial in order to respond to man’s yearning for The absolute. ” In sadness, anything is transformed into a soul”

The poet Cesar Vallejo wrote something to this effect: “Life is a series of cruel and harsh blows: God’ Hate striking again and again…”  I think this most determined power has learned from mankind’s behaviors and feedback that the only way to retain man’s attention is to reach him through personal calamities

The poet clergyman Hugo Mujica wrote: “In the deepest of our emotions there are no roots: Simply totally uprooted and torn off feelings…” I guess that’s the case of people verging into senility: They tend to return to locations where they first and sincerely asked themselves agonizing questions on the existence…

The painter Goya wrote: “The dreams of reason generate monsters…”  Our back to the wall in this difficult decade, where objective reasoning, sciences, (and technologies put on the market without prior evaluation and testing for the health, safety, and mental consequences to users) are unable to respond adequately to the growing stagnated decisions for resolving mankind and nature survival, we keep wondering: “How can we overcome those multiple problems that require international cooperation and serious communication of our anxieties?

The successive genocides perpetrated by almost every society in the last century, and still going on in many part around the world, confirm Elie Wisel claim: “Genocides do not just physical kill people, but mainly the Idea of Humanity…”  Perpetual genocide tendencies let us start doubting Goethe statement: “Humanity will finally triumph…” That was a plausibility in the 18th romantic century: Can it be believable in this totally materialistic, “just me”, liberal capitalism ideology and system?

In his book “Before the End”, Ernesto Sabato recounted this event: “I took the train, and a thin and frail woman sat and started playing a mournful melody on her accordion.  She was one of these Romanian refugees; she could be from Albania, Serbia…: No homeland, no family, no relatives…One of the millions in errancy around the world, kicked out of their lands, villages, culture, roots…These refugees know without any doubt that they are not counted in history, they are not even included in statistics or falling within an ideological slot…The skinny woman stepped down to hop into another train, and I noticed the baby-girl on her back, looking at me with the saddest of eyes…”

All these indigenous Indians in Latin America (Argentina, Brazil, Peru, Chile…), the outcast who had no other recourse but to flock to major cities, uprooted from their natural environment, living in favella and shanty-towns, victims of recurring genocides, epidemics…Those outcast of captives in cities, barely surviving, having lost their former dignity and rituals…The harmony between mankind and the cosmos has been broken down.  To be replaced by what?  Industrial agribusinesses? Technologies of the new barbarians?

Outcasts around the world who can no longer hope for protection in the justice systems: Police forces breaking sit-ins and dumping the workers’ hot soup in the street on cold nights…

“But I do not love him…”; (October 14, 2009)             

            A love on and off affair of one of my close relatives got me thinking.  Invariably we all think that we are acute psychologists in interpreting the behavior of others and that we need no formal schooling in that practice. Our reduced life experience enlarges our abstract notions into the realm of truths; but not many would venture into writing an article that smacks of psychology.  My earlier decision to shrink my posts to less than a thousand words will save me many mishaps by lengthy chatting on this peculiar topic.

This fundamental concept dawned on me: Women would instantly marry men they fall in love with, regardless whether love is reciprocated as long as the man is accommodating. Most women are viewed as pragmatic because they prefer to marry men able to provide a comfortable standard of living.  This perception is in the “common sense” category of evidences among men: in most cultures men are the ones expected to make the first moves and ask for the hand of their selected choices and parents have definite say after financial investigation of the targeted family. 

This perception is far from the truth. First, if a woman has the choice between a comfortable provider and the one she loves then she would select the man she loves with no hesitation in most cases.  Fortunately, these moments of choices are rare, simply because either the woman has not yet fallen in love, or the one she loves is not available (basically, unreachable to work diligently on him). Second, the ratio of achiever man combined with an imagination running wild into recounting enchanted stories and projects (that women tend to fall in love with) and the rest of the other kinds of men is pretty abysmal; and thus, women have a puny pool of men to fall in love with among the eligible. 

The perception of women having practical streak is the result of the rare occasions for women to show their fundamental sides. I am not distinguishing between the “independent” and “non-independent” women because the concept of “preferring the man she loves” is a truth for all normal women when the right occasion is available.  One advantage for an independent woman to marrying the man she loves is that she has a wider intellectual and practical range of means to work on her man as long as he is receptive. Mind that I didn’t define an “independent” woman by her economic status of financial self-sufficiency, although that would give the woman a powerful advantage in most cases.  What I mean by an independent woman is the one that was permitted freedom of choices in many sectors of life during her upbringing, or her folks were lenient enough to encourage her to take initiatives and allow her to impose the choices in most instances.  Thus, an independent woman has acquired a flexible and trained mind to investing energy and time at studying her choices and carrying them into satisfactory results.

Allow me to go one step further in matter of truths; a “pragmatic” married woman would never relinquish her God’s given right to seeking the love of her life.  That is why divorces and unhappy houses are so widespread everywhere and in among all cultures.

I would be interested reading studies or stories on attractive enough spinsters, and then discovering the main reasons for them failing to marry.  My hypothesis is that a spinster was in love with a “local” man and the “rich” practical men were not forthcoming or felt that the spinster was not a good actor for sending the right signals as expected of her. I reduced my sample of “attractive enough” spinsters because I feel the attribute “beautiful” is such a strong characteristic for men that no beautiful woman will go unmarried in most cases.  Mind that I will not insists on the characteristics of men simply because a man needs a lifetime to applying Socrates’ dictum “know your own self!”

Women in general do not give words coming from man much weight as evidence for truth; women believe that they have a set of battery of their own lie detectors to verify if a man is saying the truth; they need constant affirmation that the man is behaving correctly in order to control their hold on him.  The best criterion for women to discriminate strong from weak men is to demand from men to pour their heart out and provide total description of their status, life, and inclinations; women insist on their men to tell everything: implicitly, to convince men that they believe in their words; but this is the most important first test. 

If men fall into that trap and divulge everything then they have lost the war already; women want strong men and those men who tell them everything are categorized as weak in character and useless to protect them or to fall in love with them.  Those men who failed this critical test and succumbed to weakness should never expect the woman to fall in love with him even if she decided to marry him; in this case she loves to play mother.  The woman who marries such a “weak” man has fundamentally no real interest in men but prefer this front to save further exacerbations with constant wowing and pressures from men.

No, it is not an undertone power struggle for the search of a weak man to dominate because women naturally want to be the leaders in the family and they would ultimately grab that power with minimum determination.  All that women want from men is to constantly tell them what women like to hear and to hell with the truth which they can always discover with their own array of lie indicators and detectors. Men should master the techniques for perfect confident lie stories that women love to hear as long as they never forget to compliment them frequently and act very devoted to them.

            Consequently, a word of advice for grown up men, those who didn’t marry in their mid twenties: dig into whatever intuitive power you have to feel whether the girl of your choice may fall in love with you.  Rushing mindlessly and immediately into investing energy, time, and resources to just wowing her is a typical man’s weakness.  Now, if your intuition was high jacked by an evil spirit into believing that the love of your life is indeed in love with you, then the next step is to discourage your girl from meeting with comfortable providers by any means available. 

            All these suggestions are for just the practical situation of getting married.  Living happily is a totally another issue and I am no redundant prophet.  Simply remember what I said of woman’s single uncompromising faith of her God’s given right “to falling in love with a man once in her lifetime”. The harshest instances for me are being under constant investigation: Being forgotten in a gulag is a more tenable alternative for me.

 

Note: this post is a re-edited version of my prior “She let go of her suitor” written in November 17, 2007 

Rachel of Bethesda: Introspection (Addendum # 10)

 

Rachel’s Sixth Sense (Nov. 2002)

 

I used to swim at a Navy complex in Bethesda from 1993 to 1998.

I patronized this affordable facility at least three times a week, mostly around 3 o’clock in the afternoon.

 

She was a beauty by any standard. I think she was a cadet in the Navy, following swimming training and evaluation.

I wanted to get to know her, but could not talk to her during her busy schedule. I wrote her a song and kept a copy with me for the next time I see her.

 

Here is the song:

 

Beautiful girls sense me.  They know for sure,

           Exactly, what I’m up to.

They sense me in a split-second and get busy.

           She swims with energy, non-stop.

She swims fine, back strokes, crawl, in laps.

           I do all that too, leisurely.

She swims constantly and does not breathe.

           I have strong senses too:

She is not taking a break.  Not Today.

           I decide for a note, dropped on her towel.

It should say: “I think you are beautiful”.

           Everything I see in you is beautiful”.

I feel more at ease and then, hope takes the extra step.

           She must take a short break, any second now.

My brain is boiling and I am editing.

           My sentence should be reduced to the bare essentials.

“I think you are beautiful, everything I see in you is beautiful” is too long:

           No time for her to hear me out.

 

Just “Beautiful!” will not do: I know that by now.

           “You are beautiful!” is about right.

 I am swimming leisurely.  There is no movement around me.

            There is no towel.  She vanished.

 Hang it all.  I’ll write about that swim.

 

The next time I saw her in the swimming pool I made sure that she saw me drop a piece of paper on her towel.  Then, I left.

 

A week later, I asked her: “What’s your name?”  She simply said: “It’s Rachel and I’m dating”.

That was all that was said between us.  Not even a thank you or an allusion to the note. 

History repeats its cycle. Rachel’s girl friends in the swimming team noticed me intently, every time I was there, swimming, and swimming.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

July 2020
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