Adonis Diaries

Songs for Women

Posted on: September 25, 2008

 Songs for Women (Jan. 2003)

 

My songs are for the divorced women, widowed and singles with children.

Still sexually active unmarried women.

My songs are short stories  

Lacking imagination, of a grateful man, 

Short on feelings.

 

From all kinds of literatures I like short stories best.

Shorter than nouvelle and personal.

The perfect short story should generate two strong emotions:

It should make you cry laughing,

It should make you cry hating or loving

Same difference.

 

Songs for women, who were my teachers in matters of love, 

Loving and feelings unknown to me, 

Much of them still a mystery to me.

Songs of remembrances, for my own sake,

Trying to connect the strings of feelings among these relationships.

 

Each song has a single heroine and a single name, as it should be.

Names of children are sometimes added,

My way of praying forgiveness for my lack of attention to them,

For most of the duration of the relationship.

 

My way to say that I am sorry for failing to consider

The integrity and totality of the heroine’s life.

My way of admitting that the deficiencies were all mine,

A man from the outside looking in and ignorant

Of the new rules in this old game.

 

Songs for the women, who gave the best of their loving to men,

So Man could grasp the essence of life. 

Songs for women, who need to be remarried for love,

With a man capable of learning a new gamut of feelings,

With a man thankful of discovering a wealth of emotions,

With a man becoming whole lest the cynicism of old age creeps in.

 

Songs for Women (continue, Jan. 2003)

 

      I am still an outsider looking in the adult world.

I still abhor the maintenance part of life,

     The mechanics of living and lasting relationship.

I am scared of owning a house,

    Of getting married and keep maintaining choices 

I can’t sustain for long.

 

May be that I was not trained properly as a child

     To learn taking responsibilities by learning to maintain.

The adult world is still a curiosity to me

     Because, when the time was due to step in,

It was too late for me to learn a new set of behaviors, 

    In a totally different society, alien to me.

I like to discover the adult world and pay the price

    Of my practical ignorance, but it should be at my own expense.

But, could anyone else not share the expenses in my miseries?

    Indeed, the village will bear the upkeeps and it refuses to admit it.

I am positive that I never fell in love, love shared.

 

My mother is convinced that I ran away to the USA

    Because of a spurned love affair.

 I still cannot tell my mom that she is mistaken, 

    I cannot confirm her suspicions that

 Her adored eldest son is a certified monster.

   I might not believe in Heaven,

   But people like I, Hell was created for them, here on earth.

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