From failure to failures. And cheerfully?
Posted on: January 16, 2026
A few can claim, and cheerfully, that their life was a succession of failures. Overcome with enthusiasm.
That can be convincing when you are born in a privileged Class.
Like the plan was to murder one million and we ended up with just a few hundred thousand killed and maimed in our colonies?
My life was a large succession of periods of Hell. And you cannot quantify levels of Hell.
I had to write my autobiography, prematurely over 10 years ago, in order to confront my state of Hell.
Depleted. Worse, awed that I did survive that far. at the nick of time. And grappling with the prospect of another stage of another facet of Hell. No family members, no acquaintances and always short on money.
What I am convinced of, at this age, that I would have never survived living in Gaza, Sudan, Congo, a Palestinian in the West Bank, or in this crazy and fictitious state of Israel.
Leaders who visited Tel Aviv in the 1925 knew this State has no roots: the trees planted to welcome them would fall.
Dr. Seuss: “How did it get so late so soon?”
The only break I feel I had was summer 1975. I told my folks that I was accepted at a university for higher education, after I graduated in physics, while all I had was a month subscription to an Advanced English course. The test proved that I didn’t need this course, but since I paid for it, then I can enroll.
We were to meet at the main library of the university. The teacher was knowledgeable and kind and we learned how to navigate the references for research purposes, among other learning tools.
I saw American going barefoot to their classes and tried to emulate them. The lady teacher warned me that she will not accept these kinds of behavior. Kinds the American are entitled to do whatever they wish, but not foreigners.
Summer in that State is scolding hot and walking barefoot is not recommended while carrying your sandals.
We attended an open rodeo, kind of the queen of the rodeo. Beautiful day and beautiful girls all around. Unforgettable event.
Jumping on a truck carrying hay for a hay event in the evening is another memory. You bring your blanket and sit around a bonfire.
The was one building rented to a church that formed missionaries who wanted to learn Arabic and paid well. I did that for 2 weeks.
I attended swimming lessons at the university large pool for 2 weeks and it was the best decision of my life. Obviously, the afternoon was spent at the pool.
We enjoyed a buffet kind of university restaurant. Sort of all you can eat for cheap and devoured all kinds of dishes for an hour.
This was one of the glorious periods in the USA: there was compassion, foreign students were welcomed as worthy students with qualifications.
There was confidence in the integrity of the deans and teachers, foreign students could demonstrate on campuses, especially the Iranians wanting the ousting of the shah, and the Palestinians had a voice.
Once the month was over, I realized that my application for graduate study was at another university, which had declined my request. Fortunately, the dean of engineering accepted my application to master’s in industrial engineering with condition of 4 courses I must enroll in them as undergraduate requirement.
This gentle dean was from the Zionist Banai Breth organization. I assume he understood the quality of education in Lebanon and comprehended our plight. Most probably, the Zionist organizations were not as bloody and extremists as they unfolded later.
That was a great break and a good start.
Domage. The civil war in Lebanon destroyed whatever hopes and plans for decades.
No family members, no acquaintances, and no money. And I ended up working in four jobs within the university to just pay for the minimum of courses each semester.
Adonis Diaries 
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