Adonis Diaries

Forget destination and enjoy the trip? What if neither are satisfying?  August 14, 2012

Fifty years later, I am under the impression that none of my destinations were researched, Not at all.

I knew almost nothing of my destinations.

I was always heading to the unknown: No one waiting for me, not a single acquaintance to meet with, no one to guide me, to host me…

On my first trip overseas, at the age of 25 in the summer of 1975, I was not even accepted at the university, and had no idea of Oklahoma, location, universities and State.

After a 25-hour air trip, landing and departing from airports, lugging along my broken cheap carton suitcase,  it was after midnight and I was in a total blank.  A nice black worker at the airport suggested the nearest Holiday Inn to spend the night…

Is it possible that you head to a metropolis and you don’t make the effort to figure out what to expect?

Is it possible to close your account, give away what you cannot carry with you, exit a town, a city, a familiar environment and go west, east…to the unknown? Not a job waiting for you, a friend to shelter you…?

How can you enjoy the trip in these conditions?

A slow bus, a slower train, travelling for days and nights on the road, not a dime in your pocket, and having to stop in every tiny village, to stretch your legs and supposedly to get a bite on the quick…

A slow Greyhound bus, a slower rickety train going south to Texas, taking 17 hours doing detours, going deep south before turning and heading back toward San Antonio… And for what?

There were no communication facilities, no laptops, no internet, no iPhone… Just your seat and the night and the blazing sun and lonely stopovers, see one see all…

Enjoying which trip? And what if you are not a socializing type?

Riding in a car, the driver anxious to reach destination and feeling that you have to keep company, constantly chat, lest the driver falls asleep… And you were not trained to chat and converse?

Driving 18 straight hours, and the driver refusing to make a small detours to enjoy the scenery, for days, and you have to stay awake, for polite and safety sake… Enjoying what trip?

Joining cruises and tourist vacations suit me fine: They are paid to plan, schedule and ride me around.

As long as I am entitled to a good night sleep and a lavish breakfast, I am a clam.

I don’t recall sitting for breakfast, and I love sumptuous breakfast. Actually, if left alone, I don’t try to get my breakfast: it gives me the urge to go back for a snooze at my age.

I discovered that any kind of breakfast leaves me hungry all day long. Sort of the sight of any bakery makes me feel like screaming: “Stop. I feel ravenous…”

Come to think of it, the living sucks: You skip one inkling and you are caught off guard by another emergency urge. “Stop right now. I have got to piss...”

Travelling, the trip, the destination… to do what again? For what purpose?

Just running away from your shadow, the further the better, and being disrupted at the turn of your flight…

To newer situations , stranger in a town, newer set of discrimination, newer re-learning of your environment, waking up and wondering “where am I? Why I am here…?” for many morning, before your apathy sets in and you get familiar with your newer conditions, never improving, never-changing for the better…

All that really changed were superficial first impressions of how people judge you: I grow long hair and shave it, grow mustaches and shave them, grow goatee and shave it, rarely would I change my corrective eyeglasses (could never afford this luxury)

All the while, I never grew an inch taller

All the while, my nose never shrank

As if you change location, you might stumble on an ethnic community who will find you an Adonis, with the characteristics of a perfect ideal male in the eyes of the female gender…

Forget destination and enjoy the trip?

My only wish in life is to enjoy a destination and the trip too.  While I’m in good physical shape… And feeling hot.