Adonis Diaries

Ashes dispersed against will and wish

Posted on: February 7, 2011

Ashes dispersed against will and wish

How would you like to die, Sir?

A handful of ash, dirt, dust…

Eaten by worms, ants, crows, fishes, maggots, wolves…

Eaten by creatures that you despised, handled with disgust, crushed, trampled, maltreated, ignored…

How would you like to die, Sir?

In an individual grave, in mass grave, ignored in a desolate place, missing in action…

In bed, peacefully, in pain, in genocide, in cataclysm,

In preemptive war, in war of resistance, a martyr, by a sniper…?

How would you like to be buried, friends crying for a minutes, a day,

Celebrated as a groom, a bride, a virgin…?

How would you like to be remembered, your work recognized

Your work revisited for newer generations, every now and then, surviving for a while longer.

Ashes and dirt transferred, deposited, flown away, trampled, pissed upon

To unforgiving places, undesired, dangerous, while still alive,

Against will and wish.

And then mankind is wiped out from the surface of earth,

Insects, crawling creatures, grass, flowers, and plants flourishing,

A giant comet smashing on earth and splitting it,

Parts navigating away from the sun, carrying ashes,

To unknown places, never contemplated

Against will and wish.

I am not a pessimist:  I am thankful for being among the living.

A God, one of us, everyone of us,

Lacking shreds for any talents:  Just awfully curious

Observing, witnessing:  Surprised, stunned, understanding…

A God, one of us, not indifferent:  Just wanting to be forgotten and to forget.

I so often hear people say: “

Did I ever receive the grace?

Have I ever been in a state of grace?

Do I feel at peace with myself and with the universe…?

And I wonder “what is this state of grace thing”?

I go on with my busy daily work and chores

And then my mind takes short breaks and starts talking with itself like:

“I know that I am among the living;

With such little odds to being born and survive

Has hazard acquired any meaning?

What is the meaning of my life?

Should I expect life to have a meaning?…”

Moments the mind takes breaks, touched by grace.

My mind thinks I am God, one of us,

My mind has crossed the Rubicon River,

It crossed the red line to enemy territory.

My mind has to deal with the new situation, against all odds.

My mind has crossed all the red lines,

My mind is taking on its responsibility to behaving as a God should behave:

God is no longer going to be indifferent to his brother, neighbor, animals, trees…

God is to communicate his emotions, aspirations, hopes, errors…

God has to deal with all the troubles, problems, joys, excitements of his fellow-man…

God is to be involved and takes stands for the weak,

The humiliated, the downtrodden, the meek, communities of dying languages…

My mind-God has decided:

It is worth sacrificing once life defending another man’s rights

(all the rights that my mind wishes to acquire, exceeding the UN super laws in the Charters rights)

Against all odds and everybody.

Dying as a God is worth the entire universe.

Are you doing your best with compassion?

Thriving in kindness, continuing your education in humility?

How would you like to die, Sir?

A handful of ash, dirt, dust…

Eaten by worms, ants, crows, fishes, maggots, wolves…

Everything that you despised, handled with disgust, crushed, trampled, maltreated, ignored…

How else would you like to die, Sir?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

February 2011
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28  

Blog Stats

  • 1,485,414 hits

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.adonisbouh@gmail.com

Join 816 other followers

%d bloggers like this: