Adonis Diaries

Do you feel sexy after a satisfying bowel movement? (Jan. 31, 2010)

A friend asked me one of his frequently mindless questions: “How do you feel?”  I said “I am feeling shit sexy.”

My friend was appalled by my incomprehensible reply and said: “I was under the impression that you are totally broke to indulge in luxury costly lust.”

I like to invent new expressions and terminologies in English: I was not born and raised in an authentic English-speaking country.  I was saved from memorizing and regurgitating boring idioms: I am not up-to-date on the latest slang.  I have got to do with the classics; more so that I was never in linguistics, anthropology, or ethnology fields of study.

Usually, I say what I mean.

After my glamorous bowel movement I felt this sexy pain, a sensation that I had emptied a huge load and diffused pressures off my mind.

I had lunch and then had a long walk, and then I read and wrote.  After 3 hours of the bowel movement, I still felt this lovely pain in my bowel; I had siesta and still felt this sexy pain. Maybe it is a matter of aging, but when I recall tasks that I achieved during a day, a satisfying bowel movement takes the lead as the most memorable task.

How many of you, young and kicking, ever kept track of your memorable bowel movements? 

I guess you cannot recall:  They were part of your daily routine, like pissing.  Is it possible that as we age we revert to childish habits?  Like feeling this urge of passing around the potty to show everyone our achievement of the day?

I am pretty sure that if Barack Obama had a satisfying bowel movement before finding out that he was elected President, he could be honest if he claimed that the news were the best achievement of the day: People are forgetful.

But if Obama received the news of being the next President, and feeling scared shit of the haunting job ahead of him, followed by a normal extended bowel movement, and deep down his guts, he would know what was the greatest achievement of the day.

It was during one of these sensational feelings that Barack Obama was elected President.

You might heave a sigh of dejection but it is not just a coincidence: The odds are pretty high for strong correlation between anxiety and bowel movement activities. Yes, if you do the probability math you might realize that the odds are actually pretty high for coincidence of shitting sensations and catastrophic events close to home.

For example, I don’t like certified crazy Bush Junior, that President who never set foot on “foreign soils” before he was elected also “President”, though he enjoyed the same moments of sensation after it dawned on him that the Twin Towers attack is serious business.

I can confirm that Bush Jr. lucubration “Either you are with us or against us” was produced as he was engaging in a profuse bowel movement aggression.  As I can confirm that the odds were a certainty that Martin Luther King and Malcolm X would be assassinated.

What is this?

When I am ecstatic I cannot think; when I am morose I cannot think. I have to induce that I think when I am in a lukewarm temperament. Thus, “Not Thinking” and extreme mood zones are highly correlated.

In moderate mood swings, you might be thinking; when you are thinking you might also not be thinking much; either what you are thinking do not make sense or your thinking can be revolutionary verging to lunacy. This is a firm deductive result.

Just to tell you that physical exigency is a fundamental factor to your mental output. I sometimes wonder at critics psychoanalysis authors by their books.  If critics are honest then they should comprehend a book was mostly “excreted” during lukewarm mood periods; thus, psychoanalysis is not valid in these cases: the author should be observed in “a not thinking” instances.

Critics believe that authors basically lie down on comfortable coach, talk to themselves and record their babbling; critics get in the skin of a relaxed author who is figuring out how audiences have sworn the oath of confidentiality, as the expert mental shrinks.

I don’t usually go off on tangents but it feels good.

Note: You may read https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2011/10/09/why-women-live-longer-than-men-simple/