Adonis Diaries

Archive for the ‘sex/ love/seduction’ Category

Who is Josephine Peabody?

Posted on March 11, 2010

Scores of women fell in love with Gibran and vice versa, in the US and abroad (France, Egypt and Lebanon) and love letters on both sides kept the post office pretty busy.

May Ziadi, a Lebanese author who settled in Egypt and who was a deeply literate, polivalent and a female activist, and respected by the literate Egyptian circles. Gibran and Miss. Ziadi swapped all kinds of letters until his death. She didn’t travel to the US to ever meet with Gibran and she wrote in one of her latest letters: “I refuse to be a mere flower in your garden

The Lebanese author Salim Mujais published “Letters of Khalil Gibran to Josephine Peabody”.

It is an Arabic book and the author decided on a new style: Gibran 82 letters are translated and Josephine diary “Psychic” is included, date to date, so that you are reading a joint diary of two people in love with no interference of the author’s opinions or comments.

When Josephine poems relates to Gibran, they are included in the daily commentary.  In addition, when Gibran’s works relate to Josephine, excerpts are attached to the joint diary.  It is unfortunate that Josephine’s letters to Gibran are still not found, although Gibran’s letters were gathered by Josephine.

Gibran (Jubran) sent her a drawing through his mentor F.H. Day with these words “To the dear unknown Josephine Peabody”.

In the meantime, Gibran had traveled to Lebanon to learn Arabic and French at the college of Hekmeh (Wise) in Beirut.  Three months later, Gibran receives an unexpected letter from Josephine.

The letter says, in weak English) something to the effect:

“Mr. Day showed me many of your drawings and paintings in his possession; we talked about you.  I felt ecstatic the whole day after seeing your drawings because I could understand you through them. 

I think your soul lives in a beautiful space.  This is the fate of people who can create beautiful things in arts; they enjoy complete happiness when they share their bread with others.  I live in an environment of noise in a crowded city.  I feel like a lost child seeking his true self.  Have you seen any deserts?  I think you listen to silence.  Forward me your news and I will tell you mine”

Gibran, still not mastering the English language, replied on Feb. 3, 1899 from Lebanon. The letter says: (words in brackets are as they were written)

“(When I received your letter) O, how happy, I was? How glad? So happy that the tongue of poor pen cannot put my joy in words. I feel (discontent) when I come to write (English), because I know not how to translate my thoughts as I want, but perhaps you (want) mind that, and I think I know enough to tell you that will keep your friendship in (midest) of my heart, and over that many miles of land and sea will always have a certain love for you and will keep the thought of you near my heart and will be no separation between you and my mind.  

You wrote in your letter “I always keep things of that sort” and for a certain thing I am just like camera and my heart is the plate. I will not forget when you spoke with me that night in Mr. Day’s exhibition.  I asked Mr. Day “Who is the lady in black?”. He said “She is miss (Beabody), a young poet and her sister is an artist”…

I wonder “do you ever sit in a dark silent room listening to the music of the rain so calm that is”… With this letter I send a little drawing for remembrance.”

The correspondence lasted till 1908.  Many letters are not dated and Josephine must have thrown away many letters during period of disagreement. Josephine died in 1922; she was married to Lionel Marx and had children.

Probably, Josephine was:

1. the first person to organize Gibran’s first drawing exhibition;

2. the first who compared Gibran drawings to Blake’s;

3. the first to translate his poems to English;

4. the first who wrote poems on Gibran;

5. the first woman in Gibran’s drawings and paintings;

6. The first woman hero and main character in Gibran written works.

Josephine Peabody was Gibran’s first true love and muse (his genie).

Josephine is the woman who made Gibran to experience love, pain, sorrows, chagrin, and ecstasy.

Born in 1874, Josephine started to publish poems in magazines at age 14.  She received a grant to study at Radcliff (1894-96).  Her first book is “Old Greek folk stories told anew, 1897”, then a book of poems “Wayfarers, 1898”.

In 1900, Josephine published a one part play “Fortune and Men’s eyes” and a poetic play “Marlowe, 1901”.  She taught at Wellesley till 1903.

Josephine Peabody married Lionel Marx and they moved to Germany where Lionel was teaching at a university.  The couple returned to Boston.

Josephine published her poetic play “The Wings” in 1907.  Josephine had her first daughter Allison in 1907 and she published a book of songs for children “Book of the Little Past” in July 1907.  

In 1909, she published the play “The Pied Piper” and won the Stratford award among 300 participants.

Josephine published “The Singing Man” in 1911 where she included the poem “The Prophet” that she had written around 1900 and in which she imagines Gibran’s childhood period.

In 1913, Josephine toured Europe, Egypt, Palestine, and Syria and published on her return “The Wolf of Gubbio”.  WWI generated her book of poems “Harvest Moon

Josephine didn’t meet Gibran again until 1914, while attending the play “The mask of the bird”.

In this month of February, Josephine invited Gibran to tea and showed him the album of her children. She had dinner with Gibran at Mrs Ford; and dinner at Edwin Robinson.

Gibran wrote to Mary Haskel “Josephine appears to belong to Cambridge and not the world. Josephine didn’t changeshe wore the same cloths

Josephine published her play “The chameleon” in 1918 and then “Portrait of Mrs. W” in 1922.  Josephine diary “Psychic” where she talks about Gibran is of 51 pages and span from December 1902 to January 1904.  She died in December 1922.

Gibran had to kill the “genie” of Josephine.

He wrote in an Arabic article titled “A ship in the fog”: “Hover over this white corps in white cloth amid white flowers the silence of time and the dread of eternity”

Note 1: Gibran was enamored (platonic) with several women much older than him, before he met Josephine Peabody.  For example, Louise Guiney (1861-1920) who was FH Day girlfriend; the artist Lilla Cabot Perry (1848-1933) who painted Gibran in Arabic attire (painting at Savannah museum); and the gifted photographer Sarah Choates Sears (1858-1935) who arranged to send many artists to Europe.

Note 2: East of USA in the early 20th century was very different from today.  People had this renaissance streak; they were polyvalent, spoke many languages, and traveled to Europe to acquire knowledge and arts.  People encouraged young foreigners with talents financially and with contacts.

Note 3: Gibran’s English was still tentative, and it will take him years to master this language, thanks to Mary Haskell who made it a point to edit all his English works. Gibran bequeathed his English work to Haskell after his death.

Note 5: Unfortunately, he missed to bequeath his Arabic works to May Ziadi. Miss. Ziadi would have spread Gibran works faster and wider in the Arabic speaking world and might have earned a new phase in her active life. Ziadi returned to Lebanon to be harassed by her relatives for her fortune, and even attempted to incarcerate her in a mental hospital.

I love to write: I love to read how My Style transforms all these ideas

I rarely quote a sentence: frequently, I change the idea that inspired me, in meaning and in style.

I am reading a book by Sacha Guitry and I enjoyed his humour, anecdotes and quotes.

Here is a list of his sentences and humoristic ideas that inspired me to change and transform:

On veut enterrer l’enfant anormal et on devient un adult, trop normal. Personne n’est satisfait de sa vie

Qu’est-ce que ca te coute, si tu a du talent a faire la cour aux femmes? Elles sont trop susceptible et assoiffées d’egard, et sont enchantees.

Soyez franc si ca te chante, mais ne doublez pas le débit.

L’homme malin, et qui veut paraître insolent, dit a une femme trop jolie, et qui le sait trop bien: “Demoiselle, tu me plais”

Il n’y aurait plus de problèmes de guerre entre les genres si les femmes oublient “l’Égalité” et se concentrent sur leur superiorite’

On est tous inconsolables, homme et femmes saines et “honnêtes”, d’avoir décliné les opportunités d’entreprendre de commettre les fautes, les plus graves.

La femme change, et bien trop vite que les hommes. A vous d’interpreter cette idiome: A vous d’essayer de changer pour rectifier votre point de vue.

La meilleure façon de conserver un mariage est de payer, et a chaque fois qu’on fait l’amour, sans rabais et en cash. Le plus riche du couple paie le plus souvent. Un bonus généreux fait long feu, quand ca vient de la femme. C’est la definition meme de “Courtiser“. L’argent reste dans la famille, mais le Zest de faire l’amour n’a pas de prix.

Seulement les gens qui gagne leur vie convenablement (homme Et femme), on droit a un marriage plutot satisfaisant. Tous les autres cas sont du type esclavagiste, pure et simple. Et les excuses sont celles d’esclaves. No taxation without representation

Tout événement qui marque l’esprit commence par une comédie et se termine par un drame. Et vice versa. Plutôt chercher un événement qui commence dans un drame. Iza zamatna, zabat.

“Tu as rencontré la femme de ta vie ou l’idée d’Amour ce matin? Peut-être elle n’ est pas Ta femme que tu as rencontré: Elle cherche un mari qui gagne sa vie convenablement”

Dans les deux cas, on fait faillite: 1) On ne peut pas rendre son epouse heureuse a Notre idee 2) On ne peut pas rendre l’épouse malheureuse a Notre façon.

Est-ce quand on dit a une femme “Je t’aime”, ca veut dire que les autres femmes doivent prendre le deuil?

Entre hommes, on ne se complimente que sur ses maîtresses? Les hommes ont un sens inne’ pour les jeux risque’ ou’ la banque gagne toujours.

Comment apprendre a être positive dans les divorces? Ce serait chouette que les amants se marient: ils sont toujours aveugles et je prend délice de cette vengeance.

On quitte ou on reste: un processus a répétition…selon l’âge et les talents acquisent.

Entre couple, tromper la maitresse ou le dandy, peut donner l’impression de redevenir fidèle.

Les actrices sont généralement meilleures que les acteurs: Elles poursuivent leur job primaire de Courtisanes

Generalement, on est cruel quand on aime: la cruauté se transfère aux maîtresses et dandy.

Mentir entre les couples doit être la norme et il faut l’apprendre comme un acteur/actrice professionnel: mentir donne l’impression salubre qu’on se rembourse, un catalyst irresistible.

Une jolie et élégante femme sait et sent toujours qu’on la regarde: le plus souvent de dos.

L’imagination trompeur: celui/celle qui est absent a un charme irrésistible.

On épouse de jolie femmes (quand on est jeune ou vieux) et on se rend compte qu’on a fait le bon choix lorsqu’un autre nous en délivre.

La coutume que la femme doit traîner après le mari est nocif a l’homme: A chaque fois, la femme se demande si ce dot la convient.

La vie a deux, se surveiller soi-même et surveiller l’autre, pour retenir la dignité et la complaisance, est une occupation trop demandante. J’aime ce qui me fait sentir confortable et qui correspond aux exigences corporelles de la vie. Ces remarques ne s’appliquent souvent pas a plus de deux personnes: le chaos detruit les regles

Être “fait”pour vivre ensemble n’entraîne pas nécessairement qu’on puisse vivre ensemble: Comprenez “ensemble” dans toutes ses formes sociales.

Il parait que les couples doivent se “rencontrer” plus souvent: Manière de tester le potentiel de leur charme.

Une vaste différence entre “on s’ennuie” et “avoir des ennuies”. Cette différence s’applique entre célibat et mariage. Vaste difference en consequences: On peut altérer une situation “d’ennuie”.

Une autre vaste différence entre penser et agir a ce qui nous donnerait du plaisir; en relation humaine, bien entendu.

Des mots spirituels sont jolis, occasionnellement. Le sens de l ‘humour est perpetuel et qui allonge la jouvence.

Dommage. Si les gens que tu connaissent n’avaient pas un secret espoir/plaisir de te voir malheureux.

J’ai la prétention de ne pas plaire a tout le monde: ceux qui croient me connaître.

Urgent. Confirmer la nouvelle règle: tu n’est pas libre de n’avoir pas une opinion sur le dérangement de ce monde.

La femme maligne, elles le sont souvent, marie un homme “ordinaire” à son second marriage, ou le troisième.., selon l’age: elle rechigne de se faire tromper.

Il n’y a pas de bordels d’hommes: ils ne sont jamais doués pour ce job a succession, et ca coûterait trop chère pour survivre.

Le mariage est institué’ pour faciliter le bon fonctionnement des institutions des Etats: la liberte’ et l’independance sont mattes a un grand echelle.

Les femmes s’habillent selon la convoitise des yeux des hommes

La vie a octroyé à la femme “saine sexuellement”, le droit de se marier a succession. Les hommes sains et indépendant doivent être soulager.

Quand je m’éveille, je garde les yeux fermés et je me débrouille à rassembler les miettes de la vie: les exercices de respiration, les roulements des yeux, les échappements des gaz…

Je m’amuse beaucoup lorsque je m’ennui: Je choisis les sujets moi-meme et ca ne traine pas. C’est plus chouette de penser quand on s’étire au lit.

Mon prenom Adonis est deja fait: comment établir mon nom?

Les gens que je ne connais pas ne me detestent pas: Je laisse cette prérogative aux parents et cousins

Selon la loi commune, je suis toujours un fils: n’ayant pas essayé d’avoir d’enfants. Et pourtant, il n’y a plus personne pour me gâter.

Chaque jour je fais tomber le rideau. Et par magie, le rideau se releve. Je crois désormais aux miracles.

Tant que je crois ne pas être une cible, je suis satisfait d’être un point de mire.

La poule ou l’oeuf? Cocu ou avoir été trompé? Et vice versa. Il n’y a pas de cocus ou caucuses: c’est se sentir trop solitaire, stupid.

Note: Sacha divorced 4 times. Why I didn’t get married? I never could earn a convenient living? I lacked training in communicating conveniently in order to sustain daily interrogation? I was Not the type for women to fall in love with on her first wedding? Honest with my limitations, all the way?

And what remains after we discard all these mythological craps?

Elias Kazan, the late famous movie director, published a book “Acts of Love”. I liked the story that is down to earth to ethnic idiosyncrasies, customs and way of life. this is about Greek islanders who immigrated to the USA and hanged on their “homeland” mythological habits of behaving in a fast changing society

This is a passage in the French translated version “Actes d’Amour”

“Finissons-en avec tout le fatras de mythologies et de ces conneries dont on entoure l’acte sexuel:

  1. L’amour et la sexualite’ sont deux emotions differentes. C’est une évidence que nous devons admettre sinon on accumule des problèmes de tension qui ne sont pas nécessaire a une vie heureuse et paisible.
  2. La nouveauté exerce toujours un attrait
  3. La conquête est un plaisir pour les deux sexes
  4. On a un besoin pressant de nous rassurer quant a la valeur sexuelle
  5. Que l’amour ne se conjugue pas au singulier
  6. Qu’une personne peut aimer plus d’une personne a la fois
  7. Qu’il n’y a aucun mal a coucher avec les amis
  8. La promiscuité est enrichissante
  9. Les femmes se marient pour l’argent facile
  10. Les hommes se marient par pure commodité
  11. Les mariés restent ensemblent pour ne pas avoir a mourire seules…”

Et Ethel de demander au psychologue Cambere:

“Dis-moi. Une fois qu’on laisse tomber toutes les conneries dont tu parlais, qu’est-ce-qui reste?

Cambere: “Quelque chose de tres bien”

Question: What is this great emotion that remains after we drop all these  mythological craps about sexuality and love?

Note 1: What should remain is this most powerful of emotion: Pity. Pity is the greatest of all true emotions, and it include all kinds of mammalian species:

  1. We need people to have pity on us and that is why we extend a bad connotation for pity and try to find alternative terms for it, like kindness, compassion, caring...
  2. We know deep inside us that we survive thanks to the hundreds of people who had pity on us during our harsh life. Most of these people are strangers to us, and many didn’t even wait for us to ask for aid.
  3. People extend their pity and do Not expect but that someone else will return the favor in kind (pity), when hard times tacke us.

Note 2: Elias Kazan is the famous movie director and he turned to writing novels after the movie industry sanctioned him for being forced to divulge to the “Maccarthy Commission” in 1965 the names of the supposed communists in the industry.

Some have it very easy in life: They are mostly attractive

This Halo effect

A century ago, Edward Lee Thorndike realized that “A single quality or characteristic (beauty, social stature, height…) produces a positive or negative impression that outshine everything else, and the overall effect is disproportionate”

Attractive people have it relatively easy in their professional life and even get better grades from teachers who are affected by the hallo.

Attractive people gets more frequent second chance in life and are believed more frequently than ordinary people.

They get away with many “disappointing” behaviors and performances.

One need not be racist, sexist, chauvinist… to feel victim of this subconscious unjust stereotype.

Otherwise, how can teenagers fall in love and marry quickly?

I have watched many documentaries on the matting processes among animals.

And it was not automatic that the male who danced better, had a louder booming voice, nicer feathers… that won over the females.

Apparently, female animals have additional finer senses to select the appropriate mate.

Have you ever wondered why CEO’s are mostly attractive, tall, with a full chuck of hairs?

Probably because the less attractive are not deemed appropriate for the media?

 

“The man with the long curly hair”: Fragments of Abu Nuwas‘ Poems (February 12, 2009)

Note:  I am attempting to convey the style and position of the great Arab poet Abu Nawas during the Abbasid period.  The translation is not literal and I am selecting fragments in specific genres.

Ascetics  (Abu Nawas is witnessing his physical disintegration after his 50)

It is true O God: Great is my villainy.

Your clemency, I know, is infinite.

If the virtuous only dares keep hope.

Then, who the sinner is to appeal to?

Whom the sinner is to believe in?

In humility I implore you my Lord.

Don’t reject me! Only You can have pity.

You are the clement and forgiving.

Finally and besides, I am a Muslim.

My God, you have always been good to me.

My gratitude is little adequate.

Do I have to present my flat excuses?

My excuse is that I have none.

Nullity crawls in me; my members are dying one at a time. Every moment takes its share.

My youth has fled and didn’t deign to listen.

What have I done with my tender youth?

My youth was dedicated to pleasure, every day and every night.

All possible mischief I have committed.  Forgive me God; I hear you and I tremble.

The full moon is just a dim glow compared to your majestic Face.

I carry on my front the indelible mark of prostrations that might pass me a devout.

Oh, how many noble figures are entombed and as many refined beauties.

How many brave are buried and as many great minds.

Let a rational man interrogate Earth. 

We have taken all Earth’s alleys, highways, and passes.

Earth is our enemy disguised as friend.

 

Satires

(The Caliph Al Amine is pederast and wanted to honor Abu Nawas young son Mussa.  The satirized personalities were the poet’s benefactors and he joined their merriments)

The Caliph is losing his way.  It is the Caliph fault.

His ignorant vizier Fadl and his naïve counselor Bakr are to be blamed.

The Caliph Al Amine is a pederast.  He loves young eunuchs.

The Caliph is the active actor: How wonderful!

His vizier is the passive one.

The compromises of these two are splattering all the neighborhood.

Like a pissing camel.

How many women and men are needed to convince you of a rape act?

Rape is not sex.

Men don’t rape women because they need to get laid.

Rape is violence. It’s power and dehumanizing of women.

Many wonder why they (this group of men) raped girls while they could have consensual sex, but that’s not the point. They don’t want vanilla: they want violence. They want to humiliate, inflict pain and violate.

They want to take what they want without permission. Because they can.

We tip the nurse at the birth of the boy double the girl.

We say “go make your brother a cup of tea” and allow him to boss his sister around.

We raise our boys to do as they please. To pee in the street because “they can’t hold it”.

To sleep in and get breakfast to his bed instead of helping at home.

We praise his “masculinity” with the amounts of hearts he has broken because “boys will be boys”.

We forgive his fling with the neighbor’s girl because he is a boy while we beat the girl in submission, all her life.

We laugh at the stolen kisses in the staircase priding our “boy has grown” while we curse the girl who gave in.

But she is not ours so we don’t care. She is collateral damage.

We teach him that the girl he touched must be a slut, a sinner and if she has done it with you she must have done it with others.

We tell “our boy” not to cry or show kindness because a real man is tough and angry. We poison him with toxic thoughts and connect his masculinity to the level of hate and control he develops towards women.

We don’t tell him about consent.

When he has an urge it must be stilled. He can’t otherwise because “all men are like that, they are hunters by nature”.

We teach him that sex is something he does to women for his own pleasure only. We call them boys whereas they should be men.

We raise girls to comply. To become the perfect victim.

We teach her that her body is sin and must be hidden.

We teach her that anything is always her fault. She is sin. Her voice is 3awra. We teach her that she is a burden and not worthy of love, not worthy of autonomy over her body and life.

We tell her “all men are like that” when she comes home disrespected and defeated. We tell her “the boy likes you” when he is mean to her.

We tell her “your honor” is a membrane and that her life is worthless without it.

We cut her her genitals so she can be “controlled”, we make her bleed to prove virtue.

We tell her to be silent and do as she is told. We tell her to shrink so she is likable. We tell her to be silent so she can please. We tell her not to laugh too loud, to keep her legs closed, to dress to undress. To be a ghost.

It takes 100 girls to convince you he is a rapist and just 1 guy to convince you she is a slut.

Patriarchy is the reason for violence against women. Patriarchy is actually safeguarded by women. Break the cycle. Step out of it.

Start at the root. Raise your children differently.

Change the laws that enable rape culture and the dehumanizing of women.

Give women equality to men by law and enforce it. We have to stop being a society that hates and fears women so much.

Emulating Sex as with varieties of animal procedures

Note: Re-edit of “Mankind is having Sex Like Other Animals: No more emotional troubles? September 9, 2015

Are we okay with how we do sex?
We like to think we’re special, but the truth is that humans ain’t nothing but mammals.
This is particularly true when it comes to sex. Created by Mike Trapp for CollegeHumor, these illustrations show what it would look like if humans had sex like other animals.
iflscience.com
I fucking love science posted

Male dragonflies make the first move to kick off sexy times. To soothe the female, he’ll approach her from behind while they are both still in flight.

For successful mating, the male must keep his grip on the female, using his anal appendages to hook around her neck. This bond is called “tandem linkage.”

The insects then display extreme contortion skills to get their genitals together.


CollegeHumor

Mating for the male anglerfish is a raw deal, where he latches onto the female and becomes irreparably fused to her body to release sperm only when she releases eggs.


CollegeHumor

Mounting the female from the rear, the penis of the male turtle emerges from his tail to insert into the female’s opening (cloaca). Because of the slow speed of approach, the female turtle can be eating, sleeping or doing pretty much anything.


CollegeHumor

For more animal mating rituals human-style, check out more of Mike Trapp’s animations here.

Questions:

  1. If your penis was created much longer, how many of these Indian sex positions could be accomplished with any degree of satisfaction? Would raping activities be foiled more often than now? Getting entangled with this overgrown appendix?
  2. If your penis was underdeveloped, would males cruelty increase exponentially? And females cruelty on account of your shriveling maleness be unsurpassed in its violence?

Arabian Peninsula antiquity poems: Wars, Love crazed

Note: Re-edit of “Love crazed, Wars.. in Arabian antiquity poems May 22, 2015

Love crazed, Wars.. in antiquity Arabic poems

Loving crazily Leila

I see us in my daydream: 2 gazelles

Peacefully grazing, in the distant pastures of Hawzan

I see us in the desert: 2 pigeons flying back to our nest

Two fish in the waves of the great sea

I see us together in the tomb.

Retreated far away from the world

We will watch a new life resuscitated.

The universe reunited, the meeting eternal

(Majnun Layla (Qays ibn Mullawa3) was denied his wedding with cousin Leila and died very young.

After his death, the legend says that this poet was recognized as the poet laureate of the tribe.

 

War as described by Zuhair ibn Abi Salma

War is what you have witnessed

It’s not a conjecture

As you ignite war, it surges abominable

As young you excite for war, war flares up

Out of control

War will grind you to the bones

Twice ignited per year, war will produces twins

As sinister as the red star Aad

The more you breastfeed these twins

The more devastated  and laid to waste are the villages in Iraq.

(Zuhair ibn Abi Salma lived long and witnessed the emergence of Islam.)

He is famous for the opening line:

When you live to be 80, without a father, you are doomed to boredom”

And what remains after we discard all these mythological craps about sexuality and love?

“Finissons-en avec tout le fatras de mythologies et de ces conneries dont on entoure l’acte sexuel:

  1. L’amour et la sexualite’ sont deux emotions differentes. C’est une evidence que nous devons admettre sinon on accumule des problemes de tension qui ne sont pas necessaire a une vie heureuse et paisible.
  2. La nouveaute’ exerce toujours un attrait
  3. La conquete est un plaisir por les deux sexes
  4. On a un besoin pressant de nous rassurer quant a la valeur sexuelle
  5. Que l’amour ne se conjigue pas au singulier
  6. Qu’une personne peut aimer plus d’une personne a la fois
  7. Qu’il n’y a aucun mal a coucher avec les amis
  8. La promiscuite’ est enrichissante
  9. Les femmes se marrient pour l’argent facile
  10. Les hommes se marrient par pure commodite’
  11. Les maries restent ensemblent pour ne pas avoir a mourire seules…”

Un passage de “Actes d’Amour” de Elias Kazan. 

Et Ethel de demander au psychologue Cambere:

“Dis-moi. Une fois qu’on laisse tomber toutes les conneries dont tu parlais, qu’est-ce-qui reste?

Cambere: “Quelque chose de tres bien”

Question: What is this great emotion that remains after we drop all these  mythological craps about sexuality and love?

Note 1: What should remain is this most powerful of emotion: Pity. Pity is the greatest of all true emotions, and it include all kinds of mammalian species:

  1. We need people to have pity on us and that is why we extend a bad connotation for pity and try to find alternative terms for it, like kindness, compassion, caring...
  2. We know deep inside us that we survive thanks to the hundreds of people who had pity on us during our harsh life. Most of these people are strangers to us, and many didn’t even wait for us to ask for aid.
  3. People extend their pity and do Not expect but that someone else will return the favor in kind (pity), when hard times tacke us.

Note 2: Elias Kazan is the famous movie director and he turned to writing novels after the movie industry sanctioned him for being forced to divulge to the “Maccarthy Commission” in 1965 the names of the supposed communists in the industry.

Is it mostly “mislove”? Irrespective of Mid-life crisis?

Note: Re-edit of “Is it Love, Regret, Mid-life crisis…or “Misslove”?  April 1, 2012″

We really don’t regret the dreadful acts: We regret not having made more of them when society considered us to be at a stupid and reckless age

We regret not having far more sex, not going out with more blind dates, beautiful women or thought they were too above our condition to talk to, lovely girls we dared not approach…

And ending up with the recollection of pretty much a dry desert of a romantic life, tumbleweeds ever blowing any which way…

You are happiest when your mind wander the least at the task you are doing: Mainly when you are having sex

One of the partner will keep reminding you to focus on the job.

Even in close battle contact, having sex is a happier moment than shooting at someone else.

Young people and middle-age people who sign on to go to war are the one who were not “having any“: They are delusional that if they could not have sex in peacetime that wartime will bring far higher opportunities, sort of the army bringing in and paying for whores

Best time to die for men is when your sex engagement seems to have finally reached its climax in performance…of what you could ever achieve later on.

For women, climax is an addiction, and the best time to die is when the offer is getting rare…or of much lower quality in endurance or shame attitude…Sort of the male partner having this attitude: “I don’t give a damn what you think of my performance; I just got some...”

As Marcus Berkmann wrote:

Heterosexual men in mid-life crisis have a strong sense that, in mild weather conditions, there are more attractive women than they ever dreamed off in their youth.

Where were the attractive girls when I was younger?

The answer is that at the age of 55, men have included in their gawking a vaster range of women, starting from age 15 to 50…”

The trick is that sex was displaced to the realm of the mind: The mind is a far livelier, vivid, imaginative part that never rest or take a break from lusting…and going nowhere but circling in a vicious loop.

Trust is a one-year old baby laughing when you throw him in the air: How much trust is in any relationship? That is why sex-toys are the rage.  

The largest group are the divorced people, and they enjoy the highest rate of sex frequency in an average month (6 to 10 times), and only 1% of this group admitted having none, compared to all the other unhappy cluster groups.  

No wonder why people divorce in trove within the first 7-year stunt of marriage.

In the 18th century, marriages didn’t fail: They ended.  How so?

Life expectancy was so short that 25% of weddings were of the re-marriage kind.

In any case, sex was truly in the 5th position on the list of priority in marriage after trust, companionship, sense of humor, and financial stability…

The extended family lived and slept together in one room…

Mid-life crisis has nothing to do with age: It is a sudden realization.

The cause of the crisis is:

“You feel suddenly that you reached an impasse, and you are in no mood for making a U-turn promptly”. By the time you decide for a U-turn, you have made a fool of yourself so abundantly that you have no shame anymore

Mid-life crisis is the realization that we truly are going to die. Anytime soon.

And we dare not contemplate “When am I going to be next?”

We want to forget this sudden reality, anyway that tempt us, especially having more varied sex opportunities…We don’t want to die having this Regret of “Not had enough sex

Mid-life crisis people feel that their varieties and intensity of shame and fear are far less in number or acuity.

I think that in critical situations, particularly when a childhood memory plays the catalyst, mid-age sense of shame and fear are much higher than in youth period.

In any case, Jealousy is still there, more intense and livelier.

Jealousy simply lacks the vital  space of larger interactions with people, and the occasional encounters are very short, and the stamina to act on it is horribly reduced…

In Mid-life you hear more often “Let me present you my mistress, lover, girlfriend, special friend…” How about the more appropriate and dignified term “Misslove“?

In youth, mankind is an animal in the flesh; at older age he is an animal in the mind.

With rare exceptions, those very few in the very end of the tail of the “normal curve”, the rest of us 99.999% have no foundations to claim superiority over any specie.

We just take umbrage based on the performances of the very few.

And this is not a logical exercises!

This essay applies to the female gender too.


adonis49

adonis49

adonis49

February 2021
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