Archive for the ‘sex/ love/seduction’ Category
Lyrics of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines
Posted on September 21, 2013
Sezin Koehler posted this Sept. 18, 2013:
Robin Thicke’s summer hit Blurred Lines addresses what he considers to be sounds like a grey area between consensual sex and assault.
The images in this post place the song into a real-life context.
They are from Project Unbreakable, an online photo essay exhibit, and feature images of women and men holding signs with sentences that their rapist said before, during, or after their assault.
Let’s begin.
I know you want it.
Thicke sings “I know you want it,” a phrase that many sexual assault survivors report their rapists saying to justify their actions, as demonstrated over and over in the Project Unbreakable testimonials.
You’re a good girl.
Thicke further sings “You’re a good girl,” suggesting that a good girl won’t show her reciprocal desire (if it exists).
This becomes further proof in his mind that she wants sex: for good girls, silence is consent and “no” really means “yes.”
Calling an adult a “good girl” in this context resonates with the virgin/whore dichotomy.
The implication in Blurred Lines is that because the woman is not responding to a man’s sexual advances, which of course are irresistible, she’s hiding her true sexual desire under a façade of disinterest.
Thicke is singing about forcing a woman to perform both the good girl and bad girl roles in order to satisfy the man’s desires.
Thicke and company, as all-knowing patriarchs, will give her what he knows she wants (sex), even though she’s not actively consenting, and she may well be rejecting the man outright.
Do you like it hurt, do it like it hurt, what you don’t like work?
This lyric suggests that women are supposed to enjoy pain during sex or that pain is part of sex:
The woman’s desires play no part in this scenario – except insofar as he projects whatever he pleases onto her — another parallel to the act of rape: sexual assault is generally not about sex, but rather about a physical and emotional demonstration of power.
The way you grab me. Must wanna get nasty.
This is victim-blaming.
Everybody knows that if a woman dances with a man it means she wants to sleep with him, right? And if she wears a short skirt or tight dress she’s asking for it, right? And if she even smiles at him it means she wants it, right? Wrong. A dance, an outfit, a smile — sexy or not — does not indicate consent.
This idea, though, is pervasive and believed by rapists.
And women, according to Blurred Lines, want to be treated badly.
Nothing like your last guy, he too square for you. He don’t smack your ass and pull your hair like that.
In this misogynistic fantasy, a woman doesn’t want a “square” who’ll treat her like a human being and with respect. She would rather be degraded and abused for a man’s gratification and amusement, like the women who dance around half naked humping dead animals in the music video.
The pièce de résistance of the non-censored version of Blurred Lines is this lyric:
I’ll give you something to tear your ass in two.
What better way to show a woman who’s in charge than violent, non-consensual sodomy?
Ultimately, Robin Thicke’s rape anthem is about male desire and male dominance over a woman’s personal sexual agency. The rigid definition of masculinity makes the man unable to accept the idea that sometimes his advances are not welcome.
Thus, instead of treating a woman like a human being and respecting her subjectivity, she’s relegated to the role of living sex doll whose existence is naught but for the pleasure of a man.
In Melinda Hugh’s Lame Lines parody of Thicke’s song she sings, “You think I want it/ I really don’t want it/ Please get off it.”
The Law Revue Girls “Defined Lines” response to Blurred Lines notes, “Yeah we don’t want it/ It’s chauvinistic/ You’re such a bigot.”
Rosalind Peters says in her one-woman retort, “Let’s clear up something mate/ I’m here to have fun/ I’m not here to get raped.”
There are no “blurred lines.” There is only one line: consent.
And the absence of consent is a crime.
Sezin Koehler is an informal ethnographer and novelist living in Florida. You can find her on Twitter and Facebook.
Note 1: In one of the book a Japanese magnate in the 80’s told this “joke”: If the girl says No, she means Maybe. If she says maybe then she means yes. If she says Yes then she is a slut
Note 2: Can you discriminate among sexual harassment cases? https://adonis49.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/can-you-identify-sexual-harassment-by-facts-circumstantial-evidences-or-plainly-the-perception-of-
“ARAB GIRL”? Isn’t it too general and misleading to warning against dating her?
Posted on: March 25, 2021
Are you Dating an “ARAB” GIRL? From where is she exactly and how “Arabic” is she?
Posted on March 1, 2014
Is she harder to convince and more complex to understand than the ones on the big screen?
Pictures, photo-shoot, videos that have convinced you of her delicate and timid nature?
Thaqafa Magazine published this Feb. 5, 2014 (selected as one of the top posts today)
DON’T DATE AN ARAB GIRL
Don’t date an Arab girl
She is not oppressed, like those caricatures on the news
Her long, flowing hair has not grown dark and strong to guide your eyes
To her curved figure, which exists not to twirl into shapes
That she may enchant you to the beat of the group vigorous Dabke dance.
The Arab girl is born
With a fire in her belly and
Has inherited the strength of her fore-mothers.
Don’t date an Arab girl for she carries the Middle East on her shoulders
Every war and every invasion pushes her to tears
And she fights those tears back
To be replaced with a brave face for her brothers and sisters;
Starving, homeless and grieving.
Don’t date an Arab girl, she inspires revolutions with her passions and her protests
She will come home late: she stays amongst the dissenters until
She can feel the winds of change.
Don’t fret, the Arab girl is protected from the cold
By the Keffiyeh around her neck; she is the one sharing her last droplets of water
To quench the parched mouths, dried shouting for freedom in the midday sun.
Don’t date an Arab girl, she will fill your shelves and your mind with poets
Qabbani, Said and Mahfouz.
The rivers Euphrates, the Jordan and the Nile run through her veins.
The spirit of Cairo, Algiers and the West Bank satiate her heart.
Don’t date an Arab girl, you will too often hear her sigh in longing
For the sound of the Muezzin in the morning, the taste of ‘real’ olives,
The smell of freshly baked bread and
For the feel of the sun’s rays biting the nape of her neck in the late afternoon.
Do date her because you believe in her struggle, when you can match her passion
And feel her pain.
Date her because you can hold her as she wavers
Under the load she carries, as the strength of her mother may fail
For a short moment.
This poem was inspired by the Arab women I know and the Arab women I don’t know but still look up to.
Cover art is by Lalla Essaydi and the poem’s form was inspired by Charles Warnke and Adi Zarsadias
Note: Women all over the words are the main sustainable demonstrators, the hardest to dissuade from when undertaken, the source of the support mechanism and logistics. Tough when she make up her mind to recover her rights.
How many women and men are needed to convince you of a rape act?
Rape is not sex.
Men don’t rape women because they need to get laid.
Rape is violence. It’s power and dehumanizing of women.
Many wonder why they (this group of men) raped girls while they could have consensual sex, but that’s not the point. They don’t want vanilla: they want violence. They want to humiliate, inflict pain and violate.
They want to take what they want without permission. Because they can.
We tip the nurse at the birth of the boy double the girl.
We say “go make your brother a cup of tea” and allow him to boss his sister around.
We raise our boys to do as they please. To pee in the street because “they can’t hold it”.
To sleep in and get breakfast to his bed instead of helping at home.
We praise his “masculinity” with the amounts of hearts he has broken because “boys will be boys”.
We forgive his fling with the neighbor’s girl because he is a boy while we beat the girl in submission, all her life.
We laugh at the stolen kisses in the staircase priding our “boy has grown” while we curse the girl who gave in.
But she is not ours so we don’t care. She is collateral damage.
We teach him that the girl he touched must be a slut, a sinner and if she has done it with you she must have done it with others.
We tell “our boy” not to cry or show kindness because a real man is tough and angry. We poison him with toxic thoughts and connect his masculinity to the level of hate and control he develops towards women.
We don’t tell him about consent.
When he has an urge it must be stilled. He can’t otherwise because “all men are like that, they are hunters by nature”.
We teach him that sex is something he does to women for his own pleasure only. We call them boys whereas they should be men.
We raise girls to comply. To become the perfect victim.
We teach her that her body is sin and must be hidden.
We teach her that anything is always her fault. She is sin. Her voice is 3awra. We teach her that she is a burden and not worthy of love, not worthy of autonomy over her body and life.
We tell her “all men are like that” when she comes home disrespected and defeated. We tell her “the boy likes you” when he is mean to her.
We tell her “your honor” is a membrane and that her life is worthless without it.
We cut her her genitals so she can be “controlled”, we make her bleed to prove virtue.
We tell her to be silent and do as she is told. We tell her to shrink so she is likable. We tell her to be silent so she can please. We tell her not to laugh too loud, to keep her legs closed, to dress to undress. To be a ghost.
It takes 100 girls to convince you he is a rapist and just 1 guy to convince you she is a slut.
Patriarchy is the reason for violence against women. Patriarchy is actually safeguarded by women. Break the cycle. Step out of it.
Start at the root. Raise your children differently.
Change the laws that enable rape culture and the dehumanizing of women.
Give women equality to men by law and enforce it. We have to stop being a society that hates and fears women so much.
Emulating Sex as with varieties of animal procedures
Note: Re-edit of “Mankind is having Sex Like Other Animals: No more emotional troubles? September 9, 2015“
Are we okay with how we do sex?
I fucking love science posted
Male dragonflies make the first move to kick off sexy times. To soothe the female, he’ll approach her from behind while they are both still in flight.
For successful mating, the male must keep his grip on the female, using his anal appendages to hook around her neck. This bond is called “tandem linkage.”
The insects then display extreme contortion skills to get their genitals together.
Mating for the male anglerfish is a raw deal, where he latches onto the female and becomes irreparably fused to her body to release sperm only when she releases eggs.
Mounting the female from the rear, the penis of the male turtle emerges from his tail to insert into the female’s opening (cloaca). Because of the slow speed of approach, the female turtle can be eating, sleeping or doing pretty much anything.
For more animal mating rituals human-style, check out more of Mike Trapp’s animations here.
Questions:
- If your penis was created much longer, how many of these Indian sex positions could be accomplished with any degree of satisfaction? Would raping activities be foiled more often than now? Getting entangled with this overgrown appendix?
- If your penis was underdeveloped, would males cruelty increase exponentially? And females cruelty on account of your shriveling maleness be unsurpassed in its violence?
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